1982, Ozzy Concert

Like I always do I wake at sunset. I put on a pink Hello Kitty tee shirt and a red and pink pleated miniskirt, I'll choose which sandals I want to wear later as for now I'm barefoot.

When I enter the living room Cassandra asks how my night went last night. I tell her about the street fair and getting caught in the volleyball net while in bat form and those brat girls flicking my tiny bat nuts. She gives me a stern look.

" katie, you must exercise **** caution while in bat form, in bat form YOU ARE ****!" "I know Cassandra, I learned my lesson. It won't happen again." She folds her arms across her chest." See that it doesn't. I haven't told you what happened to the vampire Patrick Halloran, he was captured while in bat form and didn't live to tell of it."

"What happened to him?" She draws her breath. "It was 1982. He was in Des Moines, Iowa. He was captured while flying around in bat form. I don't know how but he was captured then **** by someone. This person then took him to an Ozzy Osbourne concert." I already see where this is heading and I try to keep a straight face. She continues.

"This individual threw Patrick onstage while he was **** and in bat form and THAT MAN Ozzy Osbourne bit his head off." I lose it, I crack up laughing." Oh stop it Cassandra! The bat Ozzy bit the head off of was not a **** vampire in bat form! That's just bullshit!" She swears up and down that it's true.

"Okay Cassandra, if that's true why isn't Ozzy a vanpire? He obviously swallowed some vampire blood."" Because Katie Patrick didn't bite Ozzy before getting his head bit off." I'm not believing a word of this." Uh huh, yeah right Cassandra, you're fucking with me right now. Just admit it." Again Cassandra swears up and down it's true." Fine don't believe me, just promise me you'll be more careful from now on."

I promise her I will. But I do wish she told me a more believable story than that absurd tale. I mean really.