To Merlee’s Mansion

When the three arrived at their destination, Mario needed a moment before doing anything else. The shamans’ particular brand of teleportation always made him feel dizzy, like he had been blindfolded and spun around in an office chair as fast as it would allow for a minute. It was disorientating to say the least. He much rather take the X-Nauts teleporter again, all that did was make him feel all tingly on departure and then itchy upon arrival. When Mario felt like it was safe to open his eyes, he laid them on a familiar sight: Merlee’s Mansion.

It was a two-story building reminiscent of southern plantations back on Earth, but where those were surrounded by large, open fields this mansion only had a modestly sized yard cordoned off by a wrought iron fence sitting atop a low brick wall. Mario didn’t have very many happy memories of this place, since at the time he had initially visited, the Mansion had been taken over by one of his enemy’s henchwomen, Mimi. She had posed as one of Merlee’s maids, setting up a trap for the mustached hero for him to work off a large amount of debt. Which he paid off by breaking into her vault.

Although, not all of the memories were bad, this Mansion was the place where he had met the Pixl Slim, after all, and if Mario went exploring in the swamp behind him he was sure he’d find the place where he’d first found Boomer, as well. Yeah, it can’t have been that bad if he had met two of his lifelong friends here.

As Mario’s senses returned, he became aware of the humidity of the nearby swamp and the sound of croaking frogs. There was a splash as one of the carnivorous fish jumped out of a nearby river to chomp down on something that got too close to the water. He also became aware of the fact that despite his momentary lapse, the shaman sisters had been walking him forward this whole time.

“Have you recovered?” Merlee asked, “Sorry, I know teleporting can be hard on those not used to it, but coming here the long way would’ve simply taken too long.”

“Yeah,” Mario said, “It’s not a pleasant experience.”

“It’s called Summoning Sickness,” Merluvlee explained, “Everyone goes through it at least once. We’re just used to it.”

“Excuse me,” Merlee unhooked her arm from Mario’s and walked ahead of them both to unlock the front gate. Now that Mario wasn’t blinded by sunlight or suffering from Summoning Sickness, he could finally get a good look at the shaman. She was wearing a lavender robe that hid most of her body, but unlike Merlon’s robes, which just hung from his shoulders like a curtain, Merlee’s robes hugged her curves a little more. Mario took in the welcoming sight of her ass pulling the fabric tight around it, hips swaying invitingly.

As she dug a key out of her robes, Mario turned his attention to Merluvlee. She was dressed similarly to her twin, but in violet robes instead. Her robes clung to her chest in such a manner, Mario had to wonder if the shaman wore a bra under it, but the fabric was too thick to see her pokies if she had any. True to form for other members of her race, Mario couldn’t see her face fully from the shadow of her hood, out from which flowed long blond hair. On top of that, both of the sisters wore sheer veils that covered half of their face. Honestly, with as much of the shamans’ faces Mario hadn’t seen, he was lucky that the entry took at all. The only real hint he had to how they looked was their incredibly dark skin that he caught glimpses of every now and then.

Mario looked around, acting like he was still getting used to his surroundings. Which he was, but really he was looking for Vidyhyne. The sex goddess was nowhere to be seen. She probably didn’t get teleported with the rest of them. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t watching.

There was a loud clanking noise as Merlee unlocked the old gate, which she swung open with a mighty creak. It was a good thing that they weren’t sneaking in, everything in a five mile radius must’ve heard that racket. “Oof,” Mario heard the shaman mutter under her breath, “That could really use some oil.”

Merlee held the gate open as Mario and Merluvlee crossed the threshold, closing it once they were on the Mansion grounds. While the yard was a little wild and overgrown, it was nowhere near as bad as when Mario had first visited, looking less abandoned and more like it was just a little unkempt.

“Ugh, I can’t believe the others would let it get this bad,” Merlee said, sounding a little embarrassed, “I really am sorry Mario, this can’t be making a good impression of me right now.”

“It’s alright,” Mario told her, “What did you mean by the others?”

“The other Merlees,” Merlee replied, “In my tribe, we name ourselves after the professions we pursue. Merlons guide and improve abilities, Merles raise the young, Merlees power up and enchant, and Merluvlees help find lost items. We Merlees own this Mansion jointly.”

“Oh yeah,” Mario remembered. To be fair, he’d been told this before by a sketchy information broker in Rogueport’s undercity for five coins. It wasn't really information Mario needed, so he kept it locked up in the back of his head.

Merlee continued to guide them through the yard, arriving at the front door, where she dug through her cloak for a different key.

“So why are we here, if you don’t mind my asking?” Mario asked, genuinely curious, “What’s here that couldn’t be had or done at Toad Town.”

“We’ll explain when we get inside,” Merluvlee replied, “We couldn’t really say what we wanted in front of our grandfather, he’d probably pitch a fit if he found out what we’re about to do.”

“And that would be…?” Mario asked, even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

“We’ll explain inside,” Merluvlee said with a tone of finality.

Merlee opened the old wooden door to the house, and was greeted by a voice that was very familiar to Mario, “Welcome home, madam!”

Oh no, Mario thought as he and Merluvlee walked inside. Sure enough, dressed in a cutesy French (the Toads would call it a Brock) maid outfit and her hair in curly pig tails, was the shapeshifter Mimi. She was in the middle of her curtsy when she saw the Royal Plumber and stiffened. Her pleasant, child-like smile forming a mask over her face. Mario could almost hear the mechanical clicks emanating from her neck, threatening to transform into her true, hideous spider-like form.

“Thank you, Mimi,” Merlee addressed the green-skinned maid, unaware of her and Mario’s visible discomfort, “Could you please get someone to oil the front gates and mow the yard? It looks positively hideous out there.”

Mimi straightened back up, still smiling pleasantly, but there was an edge to her voice when she replied, “Of course, Madam. Will that be all?”

“For now, yes,” Merlee nodded, “I will be retiring to the East Wing Study, and do not wish to be disturbed.”

“As you wish,” Mimi curtsied again before departing deeper into the mansion, walking faster than what might be deemed necessary.

Mario let go of the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He looked down at his hand, not realizing that he had already clawed it in preparation to toss a fireball. He was getting too old for this.

“What is she doing here?” Mario asked, unable to keep the venom out of his voice. Both of the shaman sisters turned to him, their eyes widened in surprise at Mario’s tone.

“I don’t entirely know, to be honest,” Merlee finally replied, “One of the other Merlees hired her on as Head Maid, and I walked in one day to find that she was trying to turn it into a, um…, she put it as a ‘cutie-pie’ stable, but it was more of an S&M harem. If she wasn’t so good at her job, I would’ve fired her on the spot.”

“I take it you two have history,” Merluvlee guessed and Mario nodded.

“She’s dangerous,” he told them.

“Well…,” Merlee began, “I don’t know what she did before, but she’s been on her best behavior ever since she started working here.”

The three of them then departed, heading up the stairs. Merlee guided her guests through the familiar passageways, which were a lot more devoid of people than Mario remembered. When he last visited, Mimi had turned the place into a prison, where she trapped wayward men into working for her and they milled about the halls when they weren’t in the power rooms hitting blocks or jogging in human-sized hamster wheels. Now Mario only saw the odd Flipsider in butler or maid uniforms bowing or curtsying whenever Merlee walked by before resuming whatever task the angular people were engaging in beforehand.

Merlee then came to a set of double doors, one of which was opened for her by a nearby butler. Merlee thanked him as Merluvlee and Mario entered the study, again reminding them of her orders of not wanting to be disturbed. The butler gave an affirmative and took up a position in front of the doors. Mario recognized his stance as a military parade rest before Merlee shut the door.

Mario looked around the study, and felt a little disappointed. It was a study, nothing really jumped out at him. There was a desk, a chair, a globe, and a bookcase taking up an entire wall to itself filled partially up with books, titles sparkling slightly in the light filtering in through the windows. Maybe it was because the Mansion was shared across many people, but Mario felt like the room lacked a distinct character.

“So what was so important to talk to me about that it couldn’t wait until now?” Mario asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Well…,” Merluvlee began as she unhooked herself from Mario’s arm, sounding a little bashful since the first time they had arrived.

“It would take a little while to explain,” Merlee finished, also suddenly seeming a little more shy than usual.

“Well, I don’t have all day,” Mario pantomimed looking at a watch, “I need to be back at Toad Town in time for the Banquet. The Queen has requested my presence.”

“Wait, the who?” Merluvlee asked, confused.

“Peach had her coronation yesterday,” Merlee told her.

“She did?” Merluvlee’s voice rose, “Why didn’t anyone tell me? I would’ve been there!”

“It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing,” Merlee explained, “Also, I don’t think you would’ve wanted to be there anyways. I’ll explain later.”

“Okay,” Merluvlee responded, “When is this banquet?”

“This afternoon,” Mario replied, “At around tea time.”

“Alright,” Merlee smiled, “We got time, even with a full explanation. You wanna hear it?”