The Revival of Satou Kazuma?

"Why couldn't you just talk to me?!"

"You betrayed my trust, and everything I stand for! I didn't WANT to talk to you!"

Aqua was having a bad night.

What had started with yelling had devolved quickly into absolute madness. No one remembered who threw the first punch but as soon as it had happened? Well...

The entire top half of the mansion was now completely destroyed.

Sylvia and Xara were in full on war mode, not caring about what they broke in their long battle. Sylvia was so mad that she'd been left alone for so long by the Succubus, while Xara had never forgiven the chimera for joining the Demon King. Neither was budging on their beliefs on the situation, neither wanted to hear the other out, and both were far too strong for anyone to even get close to their battle.

Succubus claws swiped towards chimeran stomach, barely dodging. Brown tentacles wrapped around Xara's leg to throw her off her balance, only to be burned back by a fire breath skill that the Queen had learned years prior from her incubus husband. It was back and forth like this. Years of knowledge from the leaders kept neither from gaining any ground.

The situation was not helped by some of the monster girls engaging in smaller fights with the succubae. The more reasonable ones were trying to calm their leaders down, but so much was happening it was hard to keep track. Aqua had thankfully managed to get Lily to escape with Sena, but such a small win out of so much loss felt numbing.

Lasers were shot, flames roared around, and the home that Aqua had loved for years was crumbling around her.

She just wanted to have a fun night of girls to forget about Kazuma and Darkness. And though Tifa, Aerith, and Wiz had come around, they were part of the chaos now. Anger was boiling up inside her at the two demons.

But all of it, every second of madness stopped in an instant. All when they all heard a piercing scream to cut.

"AQUA!!!!!"

Darkness burst into the destroyed living room carrying Kazuma’s limp body. Aqua spun around to see it and her heart just sank. They'd all seen Kazuma dead before, but something about the coupling of a very upset Darkness was heart wrenching. The limp body in her arms with tears on her face, falling to her knees with a begging look for someone to help her.

All the fighting stopped immediately. A sudden crowd of gasps and worried expressions flooded to go towards the weeping blonde.

"HEY! Back off! Give her some space!" Aqua barked, leading the pack quickly going to Darkness and helping her rest Kazuma's corpse onto the floor. She inspected the damages, a single glowing arrow in his forehead. Clean, clearly targeted strike. "Who did this-?"

The distressed blonde shook her head, “Happened while we were sleeping.” She sobbed, “Should have been me... my body’s so strong but never there when he needs me…”

“Darkness, it’s okay.” Aqua quickly reassured putting her hand on Darkness' shoulder. “I can just resurrect him, remember? He’ll be back up and insulting us in like two seconds.”

She nodded to her through the sobs. Though with the confirmation of his health, the rest of the room began to leap into action. Wiz was quick to wrap her arms around Darkness for support, letting the woman ball into her breast for comfort while stroking her hair sympathetically. Some of the monsters that were not used to seeing him like this and were comforting the others. Xara and Sylvia both snapped into commander mode.

"Search the perimeter, the enemy might still be lurking!" The two said in unison to their respective forces. A small glare passed each other's eyes, but they kept their focus on Kazuma. The succubae and the more mobile monster girls quickly set off to try and find the one that had killed their leader's lover. Even Tifa ran off to try and help where she could.

Meanwhile, Aerith had also approached Aqua, "Anything I can do to help? I'm also a good healer."

The Goddess was already scanning over the dead body, hands glowing as she worked. “Thanks, I might need it. Brain repair is trickier, a lot of small parts that need healing,” She mumbled, making Darkness sob a little harder before she raised her hands in defence. “B-but that’s just to say it won’t be an instant fix! He’ll be absolutely fine Darkness, give me a few minutes!”

Knowing brains pretty good as well, Svobena reached forward to tap the most important part to move: the arrow. But in doing so she recoiled back in pain from a simple touch, "Owchie! That thing stings!"

With a confused look on her face, Aqua followed the same action, lightly tapping the skull intruder.

"Huh? It didn't hurt me-?"

Sheen!

His body glowed white. Pure unadulterated white, stronger than any time Aqua had resurrected him in the past. The whole room had to back away from the intense blinding light that surrounded everything. Shielding themselves and each other as Kazuma's body rose to the sky.

“I thought you said it would take a few minutes!”

“That isn’t me!”

Kazuma’s whole being exploded in pure blinding brightness. A small beacon of white could be seen for miles around as he lit up the night sky. And then, as quickly as it had arrived, the glow vanished. The boy who had died quickly drifting down from his elevated position to stand there and brush himself off. Not an arrow in his head, nor a care in the world.

Darkness was the first to try and greet him, getting to her feet, “Kazuma! Y-you’re alive!”

As she tried to hug him, he put a hand onto her face. Pushing the strong girl back without even really looking at her. There was almost a bored expression to his look, “Yes babe, tis I. Your boyfriend and etcetera.”

“...w-what?”

Everyone had gotten to their feet now, but all were growing worried of Kazuma's new disposition. "Um, Kazuma? Are you okay?" Wiz asked, stepping up next to the bewildered Darkness.

He clicked his tongue at the lich. Instead of responding, Kazuma went to shake Aqua's hand. Taking it quickly amongst a room wide confusion, “Well done Lady-uh, I mean, regular Aqua. You healed me perfectly! Like you always do. I feel as fit as a fiddle, yessiree!”

Aqua just blinked at him as well. “P-perfectly?”

No one truly knew what was happening. He was back, but it was unknown how, and they were all growing worried that the arrow had broken something inside the boy that hadn't been like that before. He continued to look around, grimacing slightly at Xara and Sylvia and almost completely ignoring the smouldering remains of his mansion. He didn't scorn, or rage, or nag, or whine. Kazuma just nodded at the house like it was always like this.

"It is good to be home after dying like that. I'm sure it was just a training exercise gone wrong, nothing to worry about everyone!" He loudly announced, walking towards the exit doors and rudely shoving Darkness and Wiz out the way, “I would like to adjourn to my bedroom alone tonight, I’m feeling tired after being revived. Please exc-”

"That isn't Kazuma."

All eyes looked back to Svobena. The purple mind reader glaring at the revived boy with glowing hair tentacles rattling.

His body slammed against the door before he could open it. His face smushed against the wood, his arms bent behind his back. And if this boy had the ability to look back he’d see a very enraged Darkness scowling at him with the rage of a thousand snarling Demon Kings.

“Who. The Fuck. Are you?!”

"BAH!" Kazuma yelled. Just like when he was 'hit by a tractor' he was surprised to find himself waking up in an empty heavenly realm. "I died?!" He groaned, slumping back in the chair he so constantly found himself in. "...I think I know why. It was because of the potion from Wiz I drank, yeah?" He asked a little louder, looking around the empty space waiting for Eris or someone to appear. "...I only drank it cause it said I'd be more 'emotionally available'... meant it was easier to talk to Darkness about my feelings n shit..."

He continued to look around. The silence of heaven starting to bother him.

"...it said there was a side effect of 'spilling my guts' as a dumb double entendre thing..."

More silence. He got up and began quietly moving around, inspecting the empty chair of Eris.

"...thought that meant that..." nothing behind the chair either, silence still echoing, "...that it meant like, vomit or shitting. Not that I'd actually... die. Alright, what the hell is going on here?!" He barked, putting his hands on hips with sass, "HELLO~! ANYONE OUT THERE~?!"

..tap tap tAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!

Kazuma had just enough time to spin around to practically catch a running goddess in his arms. "Woah! Bout time I get some service arou-"

"Kazuma! I'm sorry, I tried to warn you but... but I didn't know she'd do this!" She exclaimed, pushing his chest as hard as she could, "Just run! She's coming!"

Suddenly, he heard a thumping. Loud, deep, rumbling. As if a monster was banging on the walls of his mind. A bright orange circle appearing above them, freezing Kazuma to the place in fear even as Eris tried to shove him.

"What?! W-who?!"

"My boss!"

The fake Kazuma didn’t even squirm under my ****. There was a sigh, and a shuffle to look me in the eye over his shoulder, but no attempt at escape was made. Where would he even go? Me, Aqua, Aerith, Xara, Sylvia, Wiz, Svobena, and a few other monsters and succubae were all looming around the only exit door and ready to pounce if a single wrong move was made.

“Ugh, I’m not taking this as a loss. You moved his body before I had a chance to possess him and keep this whole thing hidden." The fake whined nonchalantly, "Just snipe him when he's asleep, take over his body, and I'd be out by morning. Not my fault you apparently weigh a thousand pounds.”

My anger only grew, not from the insults, just from this thing keeping Kazuma away from me every second. “I said, who are you?”

Fake Kazuma ignored my anger. And ignored the growing pressure I was applying to Kazuma’s arm, damn near breaking the thing yet not even a grunt escaped his lips. “Ugh. Is this what being human is like? I can feel the mortality drip off me by the second. And being a man sooo doesn’t fit with my im-”

“ANSWERS!”

“Fine. Stubborn mortals. Let me down and I’ll tell you.” Fake Kazuma rolled his eyes. I cautiously followed his request, but kept my rageful look at him as he explained. “Your stupid boytoy is having a meeting with our boss.”

"Your 'boss'?" Sylvia was matching my anger now, shaking her fist at the fake. “Quit playing dumb! Tell us who you work for!”

There was a pause as fake Kazuma scowled at the tall woman. Almost looking like he refused to answer her, “You all should know who it is. Lady Aqua has the same boss.” The fake spat back, shocking all of us as we turned to the bluenette. “Though maybe the rumours are right and you’ve basically abandoned us for this… thing.” Fake Kazuma gestured to their body.

Aqua looked flustered at the growing number of eyes on her. “M-Me?! I’m not working for any damn possession demons!”

“...that’s because it’s not a demon.” Said Xara in sudden realisation. “There’s an angel in you, isn’t there?”

The fake Kazuma gave a disgusted look. “Don’t talk to me, filthy demonic beast." He once more growled, all but confirming the truth. There was some resistance from Sylvia to 'not talk to her like that' but I was too busy thinking about what this all meant.

A glowing white arrow, a strange resurrection, a new attitude towards demons, it all lined up. The real question is: "Why? Why are you here and not Kazuma?!"

"Not telling."

Xara slammed her fist into the door just above Fake Kazuma. “Listen here, you angelic shit-stain. I will rip you apart limb by limb if you do not return my beloved to me immediately!”

“Then you’d be beating this body for no reason.” It responded nearly casually. “I disconnected myself from his nervous system, so anything you do to me I won’t feel. So you can whine and scream all you want, but all you'll be doing is hurting this awful flesh sack you all seem to care about so much." He grimaced, pinching his cheek hard and poking himself in the eye without a single reaction. "Oh, and if you kill me there’s no other souls coming to inhabit this corpse, so you may as well all sit tight.”

...

Sit tight?

"SIT. TIGHT?!"

Even with the lack of feeling, I could see fear in Kazuma's stolen eyes.

I grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the mostly destroyed room. Dodging multiple monsters as his body rag dolled along into the left half of our broken couch. The only light was the flickering flames of our ruined home that illuminated me as I walked towards him.

"Normally, even if you have 'disconnected yourself' from Kazuma, you will still feel all the pain he felt as soon as you return to heaven." I told this fake, making his eyes bulge in sudden worry, "So unless you want me to make the next few hours a nightmare of eventual hell, then I suggest telling us everything you know."

I could have just normalised his mouth to speak truth, but I was in no mood to sympathise with my date's killer. Feeling nothing as he flustered his arms back and forth.

"I-I-I don't know anything! I swear! I was just following my orders!" The panicked angel spluttered. "Kill this guy and possess him until I get the all clear from upstairs to let him go!"

I cracked my knuckles.

"Nnngg... Fine! I-I think our boss wants to have words with him about his harem, maybe judge him a little. Might take five minutes, might take fifty years, b-but that's all I know!"

Oh no.

Was this my fault? Was my involvement in bringing two goddesses into my harem a heavenly problem? I had to get up there and make sure they know it's my fault. Even if I have to admit to everything, Kazuma shouldn't be punished for my mistakes. And there was no way I was going to sit here for even the five minutes, let alone wait fifty years for him to return.

But first, let's bring him home.

"Alright. It's normal for Kazuma to return to his body immediately once you leave, so begone. Return to heaven."

Fake Kazuma just rolled his eyes at me. “Look, you're scary but not as scary as doing a bad job! You can't get me to leave! I have a job to do and I’m no-”

WHUMP!

My fist impacted Kazuma's chest. "I said begone."

Silence.

Kazuma's body was once more empty, falling limp against the chair.

"Holy shit, Darkness." Aerith mumbled, breaking the silence of the room. I looked back to see somewhat scared faces. As embarrassing as it was to be that level of feared, Kazuma would be back soon and that was all I cared about, not the feelings of his killer.

Which is why it was so strange that nothing was happening.

"I said it was normal for Kazuma's soul to come back to his body right now." Nothing.

Something was stopping his soul. And I'd just killed the one person with any answers. There was no way to know what was happening and I felt absolutely terrified.

“Aqua! Can you get us up there?! Into heaven?!"

The bluenette was looking really worried, "No! I can't even get myself back to heaven as a Goddess!" She explained, biting her knuckle in worry. "Darkness, I'm really worried about Kazuma!"

"Me too..." I agreed, looking around the room. "I need to get up there somehow and find out what happened to him."

Sylvia was the one to have a clear head. "Oi... don't you think we should sit down and think about this? For all we know, heaven will return Kazuma soon!"

"Tch, sure. You're the one to 'think things through'." Xara hissed sarcastically under her breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

The two began fighting, right up in each other's faces while Aerith and Bova tried to talk to them. I had no idea what that was about but wasn't in the mood to care. Kazuma was trapped in heaven, and I had to rescue him.

As morbid as it was... there was one way to heaven. The same way Kazuma got there... but no guarantee I wouldn't end up in hell with no way out. No, I had reality changing earrings, no point in ignoring them.

After quickly looking around the room, I quickly found what I was searching for: the relic case. And inside was one of the relics I'd barely used, the magic cock ring. Holding it close to my heart, I whispered, “Listen, you're by far the most useless relic so we're giving you a new ability. Normally with this you will open a doorway to wherever Kazuma is, no matter the distance.”

There was a burning on my ears again, probably from the conflicting relic powers, but it subsided soon enough. Hoping my earrings had completed the order, I threw both rings ahead of me. One vanished completely and the other stretched itself out further than I’d ever seen it, forming a floating ring in the centre of our living room. There was a rush of air pouring out into the portal, beckoning me to go find him.

"Darkness stop!" I heard Aqua yell over the noise of the wind and yelling. "I can't go with you until I defeat the Demon King! And everyone else won't survive the holy power of Heaven! If you go through there, you'll be alone!" She was teary eyed and shaking my arms, "Please! Just don't leave me here! It's too scary!"

I hugged her instantly.

"I'm so sorry for being so selfish, Aqua." I comforted, "But I can't sit here knowing Kazuma's in trouble. Please, just keep his body safe. I’ll be back soon with his soul. I promise.”

We finally disconnected, the goddess looking sad but understanding as our hands drifted apart. The rest of the room looked very worried, but as Aqua said there was no way Liches or Succubae could make the trip to heaven. If holy magic could burn them, a holy realm would kill them.

I stared into the abyss. An eternity of swirls before me, almost like a hole that never ended. There was just a single light at the end of a long tunnel, beckoning me to dive in as far as I could to reach it.

Girl walking into the den of heavenly beasts. Vanir's voice suddenly screamed into my mind, If you go through that, Moi won't be able to back you up and the earrings may not work. They're tied to this reality, and this angelic 'boss' may be far more powerful than one universe.

"Thanks for the concern. If this is a one way trip, then so be it... but I'm going to rescue Kazuma from whoever ruined my date, no matter what."

So I leapt through the gate, towards the light.