Public Shaming Announcement

The ad for Senior Spirals Hypnotic Pizzaria comes to an end, with the whole audience feeling pretty hungry for a slice.

At this point we see Skylar, in all her punky glory, sitting on a big leather chair with thick-framed glasses, smoking a pipe, and reading from a big book. "Oh, hello there." She says with a coy smile like you're a friend who just happened to walk in on her. She saves her place in the book with a ribbon and closes it shut. "I thought we could take a moment to talk about something that affects all of us, Democracy."

She takes a puff from her pipe. "There can be no doubt that democracy is under attack, be it from authoritarian regimes like China, Russian, or Hungary, or domestic threats like the Brexit bozos of Britain, or the republican party of The United States. That's why we have to do our part to secure and maintain the blessings of liberty for ourselves and the lives of those yet to be born. Among these duties are understanding, tolerance, and acknowledgment of our duties as members of a liberal voting society. Not only should we vote, whenever possible, but we should make voting as easy and open as possible so that the voice of the many can be heard and reign. This 'Tyranny of the slight majority' I've been hearing go around is freaking plantation owner, jim crow-ass propaganda brought to you hot and fresh from the minority of public opinion, aka extremists."

"I'm not here to scare you into voting this November, though there are almost 200 republicans running for office who are willing to overturn the next election if given office, goodbye democracy hello fascism! No, my message today is addressing our duty to hold fair and open elections. Part of this duty is of course NOT CHEATING! Put their name up on the board!"

Skylar jumps up from her chair and points toward a T.V Screen, which lights up with the name "!@#$!@#$@!@#$%%"

The name is tragically blurred because our producers will not allow us to dox a viewer, but you know who you are, and you know we know, and now the whole world knows, that you know, that we know.

"I freaking got you buddy boy. You ballot-stuffing-goblin-voting-19-survey-answering-orc-suggesting-biiiitch!" Skylar gloats and bends over, so her face takes up most of the camera. "I'm the all-knowing, all-seeing goddess of this game! Never again sully the sanctity of our porn game show poll, with your cheating. The polls are closed, see you folks soon for the final three eliminations."

The music begins to swell, and Skylar jumps up on the chair, and spreads her arms wide. "From every mountain siiiiiiiiiiide let freedom riiiiiiiing!"

Just a reminder that this story is a group effort and that if you love my writing so much you're willing to cheat your fellow readers out of their preferred paths, by stuffing the ballot boxes, my commission prices are listed on my DA profile. Buh bye!