Attempt to not make a scene in front of a bobby while getting in a mildly drunken street fight with your brother on your Christmas Holiday: Roll +1 DILIGENCE. 3, 3 +1 = 7-9, SUCCESS: you don't get arrested

Your pigtails stop flailing around like whips as you turn around to see a pudgy middle-aged man in a yellow vest and a checkered cap, holding a thick metal wand shining bright light at you. You know exactly what he is, because you had been about to disguise Milly in one of these uniforms to chase out the mundanes. A watchman for the mundane 'Kingdom'.

"Ach," Aegidius says in a heavier accent than he usually speaks English with, "Entschuldigen Sie. My sister and I are here on holiday, and she is not used to how strong English beer is. I think she has had one too many."

The uniformed man's mouth splits into a smile, and he seems to be holding back laughter. His shoulders visibly relax, and he puts the light-emitting club-like object in his hand down to his side and flicks it off. "Mam? Is that so mam? This fellow you're having a row with is your brother?"

"He is my brother and he is a FILTHY FAH-KING LIAR, SPEWING OUTRAGEOUS SLANDER ABOUT ME!" you shout, trying (and failing) to grip Aegidius's throat in your hands again. "One beer! I had ONE FAH-KING BEER, do not try and blame what happened with Jerry on that!"

"Alright now, let's keep our hands to ourselves please, miss." the older man says. Aegidius actually looks a bit nervous, but this mundane is acting as if a young woman shrieking that she's going to challenge her brother to a duel and trying to choke him is nothing out of the ordinary, for him. "I'm sure you didn't have too much to drink. Now you understand, it's my job to make sure everyone is alright. Look at me, please. And sir, please put your hands down."

Reluctantly you drop your hands and ball them into trembling fists, turning to face the city watchman. He goes back to his vehicle and turns the flashing lights off. As he's coming back he touches a small black box attached to his vest and speaks in a low voice, not addressing you or Aegidius: "Spot of bother with tourist siblings who've had a beer or two, that's all. I'm having a word with them. Over."

The man is still smiling when he comes up, but his smile gets smaller. "Alright now. From the next block over it sounded like there might be trouble, here. So let's make sure there's nothing serious, right? Do you mind answering a couple of questions, Miss?"

You breathe loudly through your nostrils. "Fine! Ask!"

"What is your name?"

You think about lying, but you can't think of anything in time, and hesitating would be suspicious anyway. "Franziska."

"That's a luv'ly name, if you don't mind me saying." the watchman says slowly and deliberately, in a soothing voice. "Are you here on 'oliday, Franziska?"

"Yes." you say through clenched teeth.

"What did 'Jerry' do? Did he hurt you?" The middle-aged man lowers his face and stops smiling, eyebrows raised to show you he's being serious.

"No, he didn't 'hurt' me," you make air quotes with your fingers. "FUCKING is what he did! He ate my pussy and then I FUCKED him! I rode his BIG FAT COCK in front of the whole house! Up and down and up and down until, until...!"

You sway your entire body in time with the words and then make a wild gesture with your fingers, as well as a loud 'splurt' sound with your mouth, "abspritzen, inside of me! And this, this smug, lumbering... pile of rocks," you jab your finger at Aegidius angrily, "barged in and saw us! And refused to say ANYTHING! And it's all his fault! It's HIS fault I do things like this! He's always so FAH-CKING perfect and untouchable, he doesn't have to care!" your voice comes out as ragged sobs.

...somewhere in the back of your mind, you consider the possibly that you having an emotional breakdown like this immediately after having sex with your boyfriend for the first time may have had something to do with him leaving you shortly thereafter.

"I understand you're having a difficult time, Miss." the mundane says. Nothing you've said made him so much as raise his eyebrow. "This can be a difficult time of year. Especially at house parties. Family... y'know..." he clicks his tongue sympathetically and shakes his head. "The truth is that I 'ave an older brother myself, and sometimes... Oof. Just one beer is all it takes. But we have to be sensible about it. Now before we go any further I need to ask - what is your age? It's protocol, you know. Since you've mentioned sexual activity." his jaw tightens ever so slightly as he looks you down, seeing the slim bit of midriff bared by your incredibly short skirt.

You huff, taking deep breaths. "I'm... twenty."

Turning to Aegidius, the watchman asks flatly: "Is that true, sir?" Aegidius nods twice.

Giving a small sigh, the mundane watchman seems relieved, again, by that answer. "Alright. Now Miss - no one's in trouble, but I'm going to need to bring your voice down, 'roight? There's children home on holiday."

He then turns to Aegidius. Despite being shorter, he doesn't seem intimidated by the tall wizard at all. "Now, sir? I'm not speaking in any official capacity y'understand. But, I think you owe your dear little sister an apology, don't you? It sounds like you've really hurt her feelings."

Now it's Aegidius's turn to look shocked. He gapes like you've scarcely ever seen in your life, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. "W-What? I did not! I said NO-TZING to her about it! Not one word!"

"I understand sir, but..." the watchman puts his palms up.

"I didn't make her start ANOTHER damned orgy, predictable though that may have been!" Aegidius's voice booms out in the night air. "I didn't tell her to fool around with her bisexual school friend on the flight over, before we'd even landed! Ich glaub mich knutscht ein Elch! She didn't even drop her panties for the successful man from a good bloodline, she jumped in the lap of his pudgy nobody of a hanger-on who joined the group at the last minute! If I'd known his sort would be here-" he stops and shakes his head in frustration. "What does she want from me? Why can she not start acting like an adult and accept responsibility for her own actions? Did you hear that Quatsch she was saying? I made her do such and such? You should see the tantrums our poor father has had to suffer through, officer!"

The watchman lowers his face and stares intently at Aegidius again. "What's your name, sir?"

"My English name is 'Eddie'." your brother says with a deep frown.

"Eddie," The watchman says softly. "I really, strongly think you should give Franziska an apology."I think you probably said some things you didn't mean. Now maybe I'm a bit old fashioned, but where I come from, a man who makes his little sister cry ought to say he's sorry. Are you SURE you don't have anything you could apologize for? No... cutting remarks, or implications, or anything like that?"

Aegidius's rolls his jaw from side to side, quietly seething. He closes his eyes for a moment and lets out a deep breath. "One might argue that I should not have brought up the bottle of riesling..."

"Tell her, Eddie." the plump middle-aged mundane gestures towards you.

Aegidius looks down on you and sighs. "I am sorry I accused you of lying, Franziska. I know you didn't tamper with them. I know Miss MacMullins must have goaded you into it. And... I am sorry if I've ever made you feel inadequate, or like I did not care about you."

Your put your hand up over your mouth, sniffling and blinking away tears.

"Franziska," the mundane says calmly once again in his practiced, soothing voice. "You don't really want to kill your brother, do you?"

"No..." you choke out, leaning forward and bumping your forehead against Aegidius's chest. He hesitates for a moment, then puts his arm around you and begins gently stroking your hair.

"Now once again, I am not speaking in any official capacity for the constabulary," the law enforcer with the soft, friendly voice says, "but would the two of you like to go inside for a cuppa, and talk things over for a little while? See how we can make things better? I'll have to turn my radio back on, but I've got nowhere I need to be."

You sniffle. "Yes... thank you... some tea might be-"

With shocking suddenness, Aegidius pushes you away from him with one arm. When he speaks, his voice is completely different from the way he was softly apologizing to you. "I am afraid that will not be possible, officer." your brother says gravely.

"Well, that's alr-huh?!" the friendly middle-aged man stops in mid-sentence.

The reason for that is because Aegidius, while holding his arm out, makes a snapping gesture with his had and, in the blink of an eye, a full-length oaken staff topped with an elaborate gold-filigree cap unfolds from his sleeve. He is suddenly holding a lengthy wooden staff in his hand, which he had nowhere close to enough space in his clothes to conceal. Right before your eyes, his clothes slither and re-form themselves, turning from a tailored business suit to a robe patterned with stars and arcane script.

"The bloody 'ell...?" the watchman in front of you gapes in the most sublime level of astonishment you have ever witnessed. After being in total control since the beginning of the conversation, he is now gaping like a fish, blinking and shaking his eyes as Aegidius dramatically thrusts the head of the staff right towards him.

"LAPINESSIMARIUS." Aegidius says in voice like quiet thunder, the word reverberating through the air. A shimmering white glow suddenly encompasses the officer.

"What d'you... what is..?" the mundane looks down, baffled at the way his body is glowing... and then, as he watches, white fur sprouds all over his hand as he examines it! His fingers suddenly curl up on themselves and disappear, as his hand reforms into a giant, thick animal paw, with a big fleshy pad on the bottom. His nose begins growing in size and flattening out, whiskers sprouting from the sides. His front two teeth rapidly grow into huge incisors. Fur is sprouting everywhere his body shows through the uniform, now.

His ears become huge, long, and droop down past his shoulders, covered in that same white fur. And he is shrinking, shrinking into his clothes.

"Ahhh... AHHiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee~!" Belatedly, the man lets out the first half-second of a bloodcurdling scream of horror. But the sound rapidly shrinks and diminishes growing higher in pitch until it is the squeaking chirp of a panicked rabbit.