Tinder changed my life

This story is crazy 100% true but crazy, and I had no idea that when it started. I really wish I could have had an idea that the app that led to my second marriage would also haunt me nearly 10 years later.

After winning my divorce case against my child abusing ex-wife, I found myself on tinder looking for dates during her parenting time. There is a great deal of nonsense on this app but what the hell it’s free, but after a few failed attempts a meeting someone for a date, I met Annie. Annie was a few years older than me discussed her understanding of my life situation and we had long chats. Annie took them to a very sexual place, she started chatting the ideas like, “I’m going to end our date by starting kissing down your torso, I will pull your dick free from your pants and lick down your shaft to your balls, I will take time and nibble your nutsack and suck both testicles in my mouth at once. I will roll my tongue up the middle of them release them while make small circular strokes up and down your dick, I will then kiss each inch of your meat back to its head, and in one swift motion, I will suck the whole length into my throat, and suck your dick while tickling your balls until your eyes role into the back of your head.” I was super horny from her description of her intentions; it had been 27 months and 2 and 1/2 weeks since I last had sex, so I of course started to jackoff to our sexting session. Annie asked, “what are you doing now,” and I said imagining you doing that, while I flip your upside down and lick your right thigh from your knee to your hip stopping to bite each part of your leg in mildly aggressive ways, and then I will suck on the soft spot between your leg and your pussy, and then start nibbling around your lips being careful not to get any of your clit or pussy, but I will bite both ass cheeks of your amazing booty. I will then suckle the other hip softness and work my way down to your knee, afterwards I will make simple teasing plays at your cunt until you beg for me to attack it with my mouth.” We sexted a while longer and scheduled our first real date. That Friday night we meet for dinner at little cafe on the west side of Nashville. I was relieved that Annie looked just like her profile, she was hot as fuck. She wore a shorty shiny black dress that made her 36 C breast look like they defied gravity and her hips and ass were perfectly hugged by her dress. We were chatting finally in person at the table, and Annie told me that most guys the first positive chat on Tinder and bam there’s a dick pic, and that I didn’t even send one while sexting. I told her that she didn’t ask for one. Well as the night went on Annie and I had a great time we made out in her car outside the restaurant, and then we went to a club just down the road to drink and dance. Annie was grinding all over me and we had way too many drinks to drive. She kept talking about how hard she thought I must be because she could feel me so well between her cheeks. I wasn’t hard yet, but I started to when she picked her dress out of her ass saying consequences of not wearing panties, hey how about I call us a ride and we go continue this party at my place it’s right down the road. A little bit later a car pulled up and we got in the back, she laid her left leg on top of my lap and started fingering herself while placing my right arm around her with my hand in her dress on her right nipple. We passionately kissed all the way to her apartment in Bellevue. Once there we go in and both immediately get naked and she starts kissing down my body just like she said and when I started to move her up as I had promised she stopped me from doing it saying “not yet Big Boy, we have to see how you measure up to the standard.” Confused I asked “measured? Standard?” Annie enthusiastically replied, “ Well these massive balls make it difficult to gauge just how big your cock is, but from the feel of it in my hands and mouth, you may be a definite winning choice for me.”

The next thing I knew my pelvis was being pushed in and she says your curve is pretty defined it hides a how amazing you are; 8 and 1/8 inches long now for the girth, whoa not quite as impressive but still one of the biggest to come in my house at five and three quarter inches long, you have a monstrous cock!”

I asked, “great so what’s this standard about and when do we get back to the fun?” The moment was interrupted by a new voice, the voice of the guy that drove us here, “My wife has to see if the competition causes me to rise to the moment or if I have to continue to watch you fuck her silly.”

“Wait! what the fuck? Your wife?” Looking at Annie with my cock head between her lips, “You’re married?” Who the fuck does this shit? With an audible pop, she released my dick from her lips and in a sultry whisper Annie explains, “Jonathan are in a fun kind of marriage; we can each have relationships outside of our home, but our favorite idea came from a party we went to a few years ago where we met Paul. Paul taught us the pure excitement of competitive sex and penis comparisons plus small penis humiliation, but shit you proved the assumption wrong by not sharing the dick pic.” The next thing I knew Jonathan was naked next to where I was sitting in the bed with his erection pointing straight up and Annie was measuring her husband, saying in this high pitched baby talk voice, “Oh poor little Johnny isn’t making the cut today is he; he’s trying so hard to be more for mummy, but he doesn’t get to cummy because he’s a teeny weeny clitty witty compared to the man meat over here.” She patted his cock and balls and announced “you’re not enough for this queen.”

Jonathan exclaimed, “bullshit you didn’t read the measurements, so what were they?”

Annie laughed, “well your length was better than normal at a whopping six and a half inches a 1/8 inch longer than normal, but your girth doesn’t even reach its normal 4.75 inches around it stopped at 4 and two thirds inches.” She giggled, “and let’s not even get into talking about nuts yours are like a little kid compared to these boulders in a sack.” Jonathan said, “oooh, we have never compared balls before.” Making me feel more awkward he turned to me and asks, “can we measure your balls and compare them to mine?” Annie slapped his dick as I was sliding off the bed, “don’t make this weirder my Mandingo, but if it is going to be a comparison what will we bet?” I said “hey I will go call a ride to get back to my car this has been something, and I started to look for my clothes.” Annie pouted, “but you haven’t gotten your reward for winning and I still need to get off I am super horny and you know that you are too, but if you will let me measure your balls to win the bet with poor pitiful baby balls over here, we’ll take you to your car if you choose not to fuck me brainless. I promise you that it’s better than any you have ever had.” I agreed to let her measure my balls for a ride back to my car, and she made the sexiest half pout half grin I had ever seen. She announced the terms of the bet with her husband, “Jonathan if your balls are at least 75% as big as my Mandingo’s balls you get two threesomes this week, and I will work the girls up to it, but if you are less than 75% of his massive beautifully oblong Man sized Coconuts you get no sex for a month with anyone and have to watch me enjoy myself and others without getting to get off.” Jonathan scoffed, “Bet!”

Annie began by measuring his right testicle 2 3/16 long, 1 3/4 across, and 1 1/2 she multiplied the 3 measurements as volume. She proclaimed based on these numbers your right volume is 5.72 cubic inches” calculating it on the calculator on her phone, “should I double it, or measure your left and add it since your right side hangs slightly lower than your left?” He had her measure and add. “Length 2 1/4”, width 1 5/16” depth 1 5/8” for a total of 4.77 cubic inches added together for 10.49 cubic inches. Wow! I wasn’t expecting such a huge size when looking at those grapefruits next to you, so this was your idea are you still confident baby balls?”

“Do it; this size comparison was my first loss this year, 75% was too easy!” Claimed a confident Jonathan.

Annie grabbed my right testicle and put the tape to it, “Oooh! Length: 3 1/3 inch, width 3 inches even! Oh little Johnny is not looking so hot Depth: 2 3/4 inch for a right side of 27.47 cubic inches haha bitch boy, his right side is nearly 17 cubic inches bigger than your 2 balls combined. Little bitty Johnny Robin eggs can have No Nut November in June!”

“Now my gorgeous gladiator with the most impressive package to ever grace my bed why would you deny this goddess her just enjoyment of your god like nectar; please let me worship your pole as only someone like me can do!” She continued to slide her breast up and down my shaft as she praised the magnitude of my victory. The lust of the moment the length of time she had teased and worked my dick was so much and the exhaustion of not getting any sleep as we were approaching dawn, I agreed to finishing this sexcapade with Annie. She mounted my hips with the wettest pussy I had ever felt in my life as she removed her vibrator of some sort from her crease. She eased herself down my dick inch by inch stopping to gyrate slide up and then slowly go further down until she had the full length of my cock in her! At first she gyrated slammed up and down even pulling nearly all of me out for her to pump her hips along my head and part of my glans. She was talking freak nasty telling me about how she wanted to fuck me until my dick made her to Rae to walk for a month, she came with a scream only a minute into our round and then another within seconds to which she shouted Johnny your little pathetic micropenis could never treat me like this she continued to mock his manhood as she bounced more aggressively up and down my full length. She felt the pulsating of my cock and pulled off of me quickly jerked the condom off of me and started sucking my dick like a crazy person. I exploded in her mouth what felt like more cum than I ever had before, and she let it fill her entire mouth turning towards her husband she spit all of my cum in his face, and laughed, “now you know what a real cock and balls set can do wormy.” I was exhausted and fell asleep on their bed. When I woke up Annie was kneeling between my legs with her measuring tape there again, she asked if measuring me woke me, to which I groggily admitted that I didn’t know if it had or hadn’t. I asked why she was measuring me again while I was asleep. To which she said, “after you fell asleep, poorly pitiful hubby went for a worse or nothing bet on you being a grower like him and that you would be about the same flaccid. His flaccid measurements were 3 1/3” long by 3 2/3” in girth, and he kept making me wait to measure yours as he thought you would go smaller after some rest. Your flaccid length was 5 3/4 inches long by 4 3/4 inch girth. I think I will have to check but your flaccid stats say that you would have been the biggest cock we have brought home in a year even if you had not grown, but I am about to go run the numbers. He lost again so we will go buy some cock cages for him for the month. I never knew I would be into cuckolding him, but this was the best sexual night I have had in 5 years.” As we got in Jonathan’s Jeep to head back to where we left the cars, she told him the official stats, “You were right he is a grower as he increased to 141% of his flaccid length and 121% of his flaccid girth. You on the other hand a grower baby increased from 3 1/3 in length to 6 1/2 inches for a total of 195% increase and from 3 2/3 inches girth to 4 2/3 inch for an increase 127% increase, so where you’re a grower not a shower he is both.” He aggravatedly asked “why didn’t you give the change stats for him just the percentage?” She rolls her eyes fine you big baby, “He started with a sexy length of 5 3/4 inches to grow to a monstrous 8 1/8 inch, and his girth,” she bursted out laughing started at 4 3/4 inches around which was bigger than your boner girth to a massive 5 3/4 inch girth meaty headed cock.” The last 3 miles was quiet with her rubbing her bare pussy under her teal sundress that had long sense failed to contain her braless boobs and their gloriously erect perfect nipples; all the while, she had both her feet sliding around my groin stimulating my dick and my balls to full staff on the way there. When we arrived with the perkiness of a stereotypical high school cheerleader she said, “Pinky winky, I am going to tell our fucktoy bye bye, be a good little pin duck and meet mommy at the store on Demonbreun to buy our new toys before we go pick up the kiddos from your dear old daddy!”

When we got out of the car, her dress was mostly in place; she walked up gave me a passionate kiss giving my tongue a billow job, and when she broke it she exclaimed, “Fuck your tongue is wicked long and girth my too; I missed out on that idea! Well any ways I think this was a blast best one nighter I have had in well hell forever good luck to you Mandingo.” I stopped her, “You do understand what a Mandingo is, and why it’s not okay to say that on Jefferson St to me right, it’s pretty racist.” She laughed, “You mean your not mixed,” as I shook my head at her, “well I thought with your dark skin kinky hair and purple cock you were a dead ringer there? Oh well! And I take it to be my perfect man puzzle by Bernie Mack, father-in-law was my ugly man pushing my kids in the swing, husband is my rich man patting him on his little head to appease him as he pays for shit and you came in yaw yaw yaw giving me the fucking of a lifetime plus your profile name is Manny, what is that short for Manuel?” No I am Mansfield Rhea my family called me Manny and my friends call me ManRay.” Well any girl that knows Mack will call you Mandingo with that pole slapping your thighs. Hell you can’t even hide it well in pants when soft; I thought you walked in the bar hard,” she finished. I said one more thing that was some weird shit talking about him being so small he sounded above average, how fucking big was that Paul guy that started this shit?” She died laughing, “Paul was a guy I wrangled off of Tinder just like you, and he had no dick pics either, and I didn’t know that Jonathan’s date flaked so he was home jerking it to porn on his laptop when Paul and I got home. Paul was more shocked by a real penis than he was even that my husband was home. He asked if we were into size comparison porn and that’s why we brought him here because he sheepishly stated that would be the hottest shit ever. Paul’s erection was around an even 5 inches long and less than 4 1/2 inches he taught us about bone press measurements and introduced us to all of it. Now roughly half of my dates are supposed to be surprise comparisons, and Jonathan best most of them because he is large. The average penis is 5.1-5.5” inches long bone pressed and about 4-4.75” in girth when erect, and Jonathan is completely average in the flaccid measurements, but now we will be researching testicular size to see if we even did it right and what the average size testicle would be, but I have seen a shit ton of balls the last 5 years, and I promise you that your balls are gigantic, and Jonathan’s balls are slightly bigger than average. I won’t see you again purposely, but if we happen to meet I will jump your bone immediately.” With that she bit my lower lip and got in her Honda Civic to go cage Lil John