You are most angry at your mother and older brother.

Your father is far from guiltless, and your younger brother hasn’t been very nice either, but you are very frustrated at your mother for not defending you, the fruit of her loins, the one kid who’d always tried to keep her happy. You never were the bad boy your elder brother is. You never were the gamer your younger brother is. You never forgot her birthday, and you tried your best. She shouldn’t have acted as she did, however much she might have wanted a daughter.

And you remember how inconsistent and judgmental her actions were once the magic took hold of you. You understand, now, that magic wasn’t the true reason for her behavior. Her actions are her own, and no excuse can come from “having been under the influence of the spell”. Only you were.

As to your brother… he raped you. He prostituted you, humiliated you, then abandoned you as you were most vulnerable. If you consider him a person unrelated to you by blood, you can only view him as scum. He deserves no pity, and you shall show him none.