Search the weapons

Your search of the racks and displays of weapons reveals enough swords and bows to equip an army. Unfortunately, most of these weapons are either gnome weapons and therefore too small for your hands or so ancient that they have rusted to pieces. However, there are still some human-scale weapons that have survived intact over the centuries.

One that catches your eye hangs coiled from a display. It is a black whip that appears to be made from thorns. It seems to glow with negative light, although only out of the corner of your eye, when you look directly at it the whip appears normal although fairly sinister. Stranger still, when you stand near it you can feel the urge to pick it up and lash out at someone, preferrably someone's bare back. You shake away the flashes of sadistic imagery and look for some other weapon that might interest you.

Nearby you discover a displayed shortsword of great sharpness and fine detail. What is even more amazing is the handle: it appears to be a fleshy, living penis with testicles for a hand guard. What a ridiculous weapon, you think, as you stare down at the blade.

"A human woman?" The sword says to you and you realize there is a face imprinted on the blade. It is speaking to you!

"What are you!?" you demand.

"I am Furgus, dark knight of the order of Behel, plunderer of the seven islands, strongest of the-"

"You're a sword," you interrupt. "Do you happen to know a door?"

"Kurgus!" says the sword. "He was my brother once, but he betrayed me to the demon that trapped us in our sorry states."

"Hmmm," you look carefully at the sword. In addition to the odd cock-handle it seems to be a rather sturdy and well-made weapon. "What magic do you possess?"

"Magic? I am the war singer. My blade can hew through limbs and steel. I can allow you to strike the most powerful demon. And I can shoot fireballs."

"Really?"

"No," the sword admits, "I made up the fireball part, but everything else is true. I would make a fine weapon."

Looks like now you have to choose which weapon you will wield.