Play Like a Champion Today

Mallory

Mallory, Janet, and Danica are the first to arrive at the filming location the following morning. Mallory wasn’t sure if it was her mother’s natural punctuality (a trait that had not been passed down), or whether she was still rocked by the previous night’s events. Mallory had received the worst of it, but paradoxically seemed the least affected in the morning.

“Why did you pick that dress?” Janet asked of Mallory’s low-cut yellow sundress and sandals outfit. The closets adjacent to their team bedrooms had been stocked with their clothes from home. While Janet and Danica had defensively thrown on long-sleeved sweatshirts and jeans despite the rising heat, Mallory shrugged that off.

“Fuck ‘em. They’ve seen everything anyway, and I want to be comfortable.”

A small space was cleared in the center of the gaming floor, and a circular stage set up where it could be seen throughout. The staff were back, their re-emergence just as jarring as their sudden departure. They parted as the three women passed through them on the way to the stage.

“It’s like we’re VIPs or something.” Janet noted.

“We are, the show is about us.” Mallory said in a tone that suggested they were right to move. Mallory never really cared to be famous. She knew from 11 years old that she was going to be rich no matter what, so why put in the effort? Still, any girl that grows up blonde, rich, and hot in California considers some degree of fame almost a birthright.

“Well, Michael’s the master, so isn’t it about him?” Janet asked.

“Don’t be naive, Janet. The man on these shows is pretty immaterial. Everyone watches for the women.” Just like porn. Mallory thought, but Janet wasn’t ready to hear that. After coming down off her high, the time to think had given Mallory a different perspective. Rhonda tried to fight it and escape but failed. Maybe all these others tried too? Mallory had never been accused of dogged persistence, so if the hard way was an obvious loser - what else did that leave? She wasn’t going to give in to Michael, that was absolutely out of the question, but if playing along for a time kept the heat off her all the better.

Al and Ruby waited on the stage, standing as far from each other as was practical to stay in frame. The tension was obvious enough on the first night, but today it was downright radioactive. The hosts kept a large table between them, on which were laid 7 small…magic wands?

They didn’t seem to need them last night. Are they for us? There were seven chairs set out in a semi-circle along the other half of the stage. But just as last night, no cameras anywhere. Not even in the ceiling, where you’d expect to see them.

They can see us anywhere. Who knows what angles they got last night. Mallory thought.

“Welcome back, I hope you all slept well.” Ruby said with a plastic smile, back in her stage persona. Despite the hate, the two could still play for the cameras.

“I don’t know how you expected anyone to sleep after last night.” Danica snapped. Mom and Janet do look pretty weary. Vivian somehow looked rested and fresh. How is she handling this so well? And the Puerto Rican chick was high as fuck, of course she could sleep.

Luciana followed Vivian onto the stage, wearing the same look of confusion that everyone else had borne the night before.

“Is this the right place?” She asked, and Ruby nodded. “I dunno what’s going on, is this a promotional thing? I woke up and she said we all had to be somewhere at 8.” Luciana pointed to Vivian.

“No, honey the game’s about to start.” Al checked his watch and the two empty seats.

“Game?”

“Didn’t you read the pamphlet? Did no one tell you why we’re here?”

Luciana shrugged.

“Well forget it then, you’ll figure it out along the way.” Ruby dropped her voice to a mumble, low enough that only Mallory in the closest chair could hear. “Just like the rest of us.”

“If this isn’t a promo, do I have time to change?” Luciana asked, gesturing to her t-shirt. It was green, emblazoned with the text “Lucky” Luciana across the chest, flanked by shamrocks. “I hate this thing, but my promoter says I got to wear it to promo events.”

“No.” Al and Ruby said in unison. She got us to agree on something, that’s a first.

The clock ticked closer to 8, but the other two never arrived. “If they don’t show, it’s usually an elimination…” Al grumbled.

“Sure, I’ll take that trade. That’s one for each of us.” Ruby clipped. “Though I doubt you’re so eager to lose your supposed Ace. Your move.”

“Wait, is ditching this an option? ‘Cause I’ll be by the pool then.” Mallory said.

“Mallory, shut up.” Danica hissed under her breath, forcefully grabbing her daughter’s knee.

“Ok, two for you then Al.” Ruby said , with a sidelong smirk at Mallory as she did. The bitch thinks she broke me.

Al ground his teeth so hard Mallory could practically hear it. “No, Mallory, ditching is not an option. We’ll start the challenge on time, but they’ve still gotta play.”

“Fine,” Ruby said “But, if your girl isn’t down by 9, I’m disqualifying her.” Al wanted to say something to that, but Ruby clapped her hands and launched the show. “Hello everyone and welcome back! Last night sure was exciting! Wouldn’t you agree, Al?”

“Absolutely.” He said flatly. Ruby waited for him to offer some more patter, but he stayed uncooperatively quiet. Ruby picked it back up,

“We’ve decided to mix things up this season, so the ladies will compete in the first challenge before their first transformation! Just goes to show, you can never predict what’s gonna happen next on Harem Hotel!”

“Nope.” Al added curtly. Ruby rolled her eyes, settled herself, and kept going.

“For our first challenge, we’ve decided to let our girls get to know each other. Intimately.” Ruby stage-winked at the ‘camera.’ ”But not the way you’re thinking. There’s no more intimate relationship in nature than that between predator and prey...” Ruby stepped behind the table and gestured to the wands.

“In a moment, each of you will collect one from the table.,” she took one of the wands and held it out in an open palm for the contestants to see, “Right now, the handle is blank. Once the game begins, you will see the name of another contestant appear.” As she spoke, the handle of the wand began to glow with an unnatural yellow light, letters forming as if being etched by an invisible blade, spelling out Alphonse. “When you call the name, the wand will point you to them. Alphonse.” As she said his name, the wand began to levitate from her hand, and spin to point at Al. Ruby allowed it to float there for a second, then she drew her finger down the handle and set down the once-again-blank wand.

“Woah.” Luciana looked around at the others as if to ask if they were seeing this too. As the others had witnessed the fireworks last night, none seemed impressed by this parlor trick. Their lack of reaction only confounded Luciana more.

Ruby soldiered on. “The rules are quite simple. The name on your wand is your target. Find her, and tag her with the wand. When you do, she will be eliminated, you will acquire victory points, and her target will become yours. If you are able to break the wand of the woman chasing you, she is eliminated and you gain the points for it. Don’t tag anyone but your target. Don’t go up to the Master’s suite. Either of those will eliminate you from the game. Once you’re out of the game, don’t interfere with the ladies still playing - that will result in a severe punishment. Ask Rhonda if you’re confused about that part.”

Luciana again looked around for some clarification, but the others did not provide it.

Ruby waved the five women forward. “You may take your wands now.” Mallory took hers and watched as the name began to scrawl out on the handle. Janet. Mallory quickly closed her fist over the name and held the wand at her side. She tried to peek at the others, but they had the same idea and quickly hid their targets from the others.

Ruby looked around at the women with a smile that finally looked genuine. “Now you have your targets, you each have five minutes to spread out and plan your strategy. After that, it’s every woman for herself. Aaaaand off we go.”

As soon as Ruby gave the signal, Vivian took off like a rocket, sprinting down the stairs and out through the crowd.

“She’s taking this pretty seriously, huh?” Luciana asked.

“Vivian takes everything that seriously.” Danica said.

“She’s right to, and so should all of you.” Ruby added.

Ruby might be right here. If Vivian’s here to play, maybe we all should be taking this seriously. Just one real competitor upends everything. Mallory thought. Mom’s still shook from last night, and Janet… she was born shook. It might be up to me to win this and get us all out of here.

“Well, if we’re done here, now I’ll hit the pool.” Mallory announced, to no one in particular. She gave Danica and Janet a quick nod as she passed and left them all behind, following the signs that led out to the back.

Luciana

Luciana stood on the stage with the same confused face she’d worn all morning. After that hardcore one -Vivian, Luciana remembered- had run off, the other three headed off at a more comfortable pace in different directions. Of the group she’d woken up with that morning, they were the friendliest. Or more accurately - the least hostile. Luciana’s bed had been embroidered with her name, along with the three others in her room marked “Team Ruby.” So with a little shameless eavesdropping and process of elimination, she’d put most of the names to the faces. The tall blonde -Mallory- kept glancing at Luciana as they milled around the common area, and she’d been able to make out the word “Mom” when she spoke to the older woman - Danica. The mousy-looking one - Janet, seemed to follow their lead.

Ok, that’s one question down, about a hundred to go. Danica is Mallory’s mother. Maybe Janet’s mother too? Vivian was keeping her distance from those three but she wouldn’t say why. Which was better than the short-haired one, she wouldn’t even give me her name on her way to the elevator.

“Is there something wrong?” Ruby asked, snapping Luciana back to the present.

“Yeah, who’s Rhonda?” Luciana asked. As she said the name, the wand lifted from her hand and pivoted to point straight up. “She wasn’t upstairs though, I just came from there.”

“Rhonda is in the Master’s Suite right now, she’ll be down shortly.”

“That hardly seems fair. How am I supposed to get her then? You just said I can’t go there.”

“If she doesn’t come down by 9 A.M., she’ll be eliminated and you’ll have a new target. You’ll need to keep from being eliminated yourself until then.” Ruby seemed on edge in general, and Luciana could not understand why. Isn’t she in charge, along with the fat guy? Add it to the list, then.

Luciana shrugged. “Anywhere to get some food while I wait? No one woke me up so I barely made curtain call.”

“There’s a restaurant before you reach the pool, take a left.” Ruby said, “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Let her play how she wants to play, quit cheating” Al interjected, “Come on, Ruby, let’s go watch the fun.”

He headed off without looking back to see if she had followed. Ruby scoffed, but other than diving off the stage like Vivian she’d have to head the same way down the stairs. Trying not to look like she’s following his orders. Ruby eventually followed him, while trying her damnedest to act as if she wasn’t.

Either they’re married or they used to be. With the hosts gone and Luciana alone on the stage, the crowd started to break up and wander off, heading by rote back to their gaming tables or other entertainments around the casino. They’re all playing and smiling, but none of them look like they’re having any fun. That’s… odd. I’d add it to the list, but that one’s not my problem. Some eggs? That was her problem. She headed off in the direction Ruby had steered her.

Sarah

Sarah had no idea the game was afoot, nor did she particularly care. As soon as she discovered a set of chips next to her bed that morning, she recalled Danica and Mallory discussing a payphone the night before. She scooped the chips into one of the provided cups and headed for the elevator without bothering to respond to anyone trying to greet her. It was where she remembered, a small wooden stall with no door. When’s the last time I’ve seen one? Regardless, she had never been so thankful to find it. The phone booth was occupied by an older man. Sarah didn’t even slow down.

“I need this. Now.” Sarah said, reaching past him to slap down the receiver and disconnect the call. He gave her a startled look and surrendered the handset, scampering off out of Sarah’s sight and out of her mind.

Sarah realized with a start that she couldn’t even remember Olivia’s number. But this one she couldn’t blame on the hotel magic, just decades of using cell phones. That’s the entire point of those things, so I don’t have to remember phone numbers!

Sarah tried her luck and dialed the Operator. A cheery voice came on the line.

“Hello Sarah Henderson, thank you for using Harem Hotel Communications, how may I direct your call?”

“How did you know- Forget it. Put me through to Olivia Pérez.”

“Right away, Ms. Henderson. Please insert $500 in chips to continue.”

“Five hundred dollars?! For a phone call?!” Sarah colorfully berated the operator on the Harem Hotel’s extortionary business practices while fed a fistful of chips into the provided slot. The fact that they were fake chips representing fake money on a pornographic TV show didn’t take the edge off Sarah’s annoyance. It was the principle at issue here!

She answered on the first ring. “Sarah? Sarah?!”

“Oh my God, Olivia! Are you alright?!” Sarah’s voice cracked as her anger and fear were washed aside by a surge of relief and tears in her eyes. Sarah was not a crier, but just hearing that voice was enough to make her one. “I was so scared! I thought…”

“I’m fine, Sarah, I promise. I was so worried about you too!” There was a long exhale on the other end of the line, as if Olivia had been holding her breath. “One minute we were signing and you missed a cue, so I looked over and you were just gone. I lunged for the wheel, but I got all dizzy… Next thing I know I’m in my own bed clutching a letter about you being in a harem?! How could they do this? Any of this?”

“I have no idea. They can do some seriously crazy shit, Olivia. Like, miles past even what the loonies on the Dark Web ramble about. They grabbed eight of us in broad daylight from all over the country and dragged us here without a single eyewitness. Michael, his wife, his kid...” Sarah paused for a second. Wait a minute. Without a single human eyewitness. “Olivia, what happened to the car? It has cameras, maybe they show something.”

“Sarah, the car is gone too.”

“Did it wreck? The dashcam is in a pretty solid housing, they should still be able to pull the footage off it.”

“No, Sarah… I mean the car is gone. It disappeared, everything did. I woke up in my bed. My old bed. In Hayward, in the apartment where I lived when we met.”

“I thought you gave that place up?”

“I did when I moved to LA with you! But now I’m back here, and it’s like…I never moved? All my stuff is here, even all that vinyl we pitched years ago when you made me go digital. I can remember our life together, all the way back to when we met at that rock show. But - I remember a different life too. One where we never met. Like, I can remember the original movie and the remake, but somehow they’re both real?-”

“Only one of those is real, Olivia.”

“There’s more… I have a girlfriend.”

“I’ve been kidnapped for fourteen hours and you cheated on me?!?” The anger that had subsided came roaring back, now with a new and innocent target. It was wrong and it was irrational, but the words shot out of her mouth before Sarah’s brain could process them.

“It’s not like that! We met two months ago - well, two months ago that I remember, when we were at work-”

“You have a job too? You’ve been looking for a year!”

“Up here I do!” Olivia sounded apologetic. “I tried so hard in LA, I could never find anything good. But back home… I’m even getting promoted next month.”

“I helped you look for work so many times, Olivia…”

“You did! And I’m really thankful but… you were always so negative, Sarah. We’d scroll a site and you’d find some reason why it wouldn’t work. Like everything I could qualify for wasn’t worth my time. Francine-”

“Francine? You dumped me for a goddamned Frank.”

“I didn’t dump you at all! I got hit by the same voodoo you did, I just … got to see a different path afterwards. One where I’m not freeloading on you.”

“You make it sound like I was holding you back, Olivia.”

“Stop leaping directly to the negative every damned time. Sarah, I love you so much and I am so happy you’re alive - but come on - sometimes talking to you is like walking a minefield. I’m just saying that everyone sits around fantasizing about where their life could have gone differently. But I actually see it, I feel it and taste it and… I want it. And I want you to figure out a way off that show so you can be a part of this life.”

“It’s not that sim-OooooOAAHGGGGHHHH!” Sarah’s brain exploded in pleasure as she was jabbed in the back. Her knees gave out and she collapsed against the side wall of the booth. She tried to grab at the phone to support herself. All she accomplished was to smack the cup full of chips and set its contents flying as she slid to the floor.

Through her shuddering orgasm, Sarah saw Vivian’s backside as the woman was already off to pursue her next target. The crowd swarmed past her as they swooped in to snatch up the chips that had sprawled across the carpet.

“Sarah? Sarah? Is that all you’ve got to say? This is ser-”

“Thank you for using Harem Hotel communications,” the operator said, “Your purchased time has concluded. Good bye.”

Luciana

Fifteen minutes into the challenge found Luciana in a semi-circle booth with her back against the wall of the hotel restaurant, savagely attacking a plate of huevos rancheros. It was a post-fight ritual stretching back to her teen years, and she was needing something comforting and familiar to ground her. These are actually damned delicious, she thought, finally something goes right today.

Since awakening in a bed that wasn’t hers, but that somehow had a blanket with her name embroidered on it, Luciana had been collecting and mentally ranking her questions in loose order of priority. Some examples:

• Where the hell am I? (#2)
• Why are my memories from last night so hazy? (#3)
• Who the fuck are these people? (#5)
• Why am I wearing my fight gear? (#7)
• What is happening at 8 AM and why do all of them seem so nervous about it? (#17)
• What is this pamphlet by my bed? Related: What is a Harem Hotel and what’s that got to do with me? (#26-28)

And most importantly: Did I win? (#1). After taking off her gloves, sports top, and trunks back in the room, Luciana had inspected herself in the three-panel mirror provided in the closet area. Aside from a small bruise on her cheek, Luciana didn’t have a scratch on her. How is that possible? Not even my knuckles hurt. The others were all getting ready, and Luciana recognized that she was expected to be somewhere this morning and be presentable, but lacking any context she just defaulted to her promotional outfit. She undid her tight braid and let her hair fall loose onto her shoulders, then slipped on her black jogging pants and hightops, finishing with her “Lucky” Luciana logo tee. Her promoter had insisted on putting shamrocks on it, even though she was very clearly not Irish and neither was the guy her nickname referenced. For the brand, he said. I feel like such an idiot in this.

Luciana had been nursing a dark suspicion about her situation all morning, but wasn’t sure how to test her theory. Until she noticed Danica moving towards her through the restaurant, trying just a little too hard to look casual. Danica pretended to notice Luciana sitting at the table and called out to her.

“Oh hi! Luciana, is it?”

Luciana nodded and smiled. “That’s me, Luciana del Rio.” She gestured to her shirt and immediately regretted it. Ugh, I’m too practiced. “Sorry, I don’t remember much about last night and nobody really wanted to talk this morning. You are?”

“Oh, you don’t know me.” Danica said, moving closer. Luciana noted that Danica did not offer a handshake, and indeed kept her right hand awkwardly tucked behind her hip. “I’m Dr. Danica Clark. Please call me Danica though.” Despite her smile and polite greeting, her voice seemed nervous.

“Sure thing.” A doctor? Luciana’s suspicion seemed all but confirmed. “Are you a fan?” She continued the conversation, playing along. Luciana watched the brunette’s exposed shoulder, just above the pec. That will twitch first.

“Oh me? No. No no.” Danica giggled awkwardly. “My husband is a huge fan though. Well, he was anyway.”

“Was? Well that’s too bad, I hope I can win him back.” Luciana softly set down her utensils and waited. Just do whatever you came to already. Come on. Do it.

To an observer, it looked like a violent flash of movement. But to Luciana, it was smooth and controlled. She saw the slight movement as Danica started to bring the wand around in a looping hook motion into Luciana’s left arm. Luciana slid over in the booth and grabbed Danica’s wrist, pulling her forward and off-balance. She **** the Doctor’s hand down on the edge of the table, then chopped the exposed end of her wand off with her free hand.

Danica’s eyes rolled back in her head and she let out a deep moan of pleasure. She bit her lower lip, trying to silence the sound with minimal success. Her body convulsed powerfully and Danica dropped to her elbows into Luciana’s food.

“Oh, come on! Did you just cream all over my eggs?” Luciana gently lifted the post-orgasmic woman off the plate and surveyed the damage. It was a total loss. The other diners had stopped what they were doing to watch, but Luciana waved them off. “She’s fine, everyone’s fine, go back to your meals.”

“S-s-sorry, I didn’t know that would happen.” Danica stammered. Her fake smile had been replaced with a contented afterglow.

“Sit down already before you fall over again.” Luciana took her napkin and started wiping Danica’s arms clean. “Goddamn woman, you’re kinky as hell. Or, I guess that means I’m kinky as hell. This is all too much.”

“What are you talking about?” Danica asked.

“I couldn’t figure this place out all morning, but once you said you were a doctor it all clicked.” Luciana gestured broadly to the room, “This is all in my head. I must’ve lost horribly. Now I’m passed out in a hospital bed somewhere, making all this up. I bet the real you is taking care of me out there.”

“Wait… what? You think you’re in a coma?”

“Makes the most sense to me. Last thing I remember was getting ready to fight in Miami, next thing I know I’m waking up in this whacked-out place without a scratch on me. The only person who’s even introduced herself is a Doctor. What kind of Doctor are you anyway?”

“Emergency Medicine.”

“See?” Luciana slapped the table. “There it is then.”

“No, that’s not it at all. It’s…” Danica couldn’t help but laugh a little as she spoke. “I can’t believe I’m saying this. We’re on a TV show.”

“I read that pamphlet. It was ridiculous. What channel? Where are the cameras?”

“I don’t know but it’s real. I mean, I guess. It’s magic or something I can’t explain. But you’re really here, just like me and the others. We’re…competing for my husband. To be in his harem.” She dropped her head into her hands. “It’s so much worse when you say it out loud.”

Luciana’s eyebrow raised. “And you think a magic harem TV show is a better explanation than a coma? I’m in the brain damage business.” Luciana was struck by a thought. “Wait a minute, this place is in my head, but it’s all sex all the time. You’re not like, doing anything to me while I’m knocked out, right?”

“No!” Danica protested.

“I don’t have anything against lesbians, really. I get accused of being one a lot, all us female fighters do. It’s just not really my thing. But I guess since you are a figment of my imagination, you wouldn’t know if the real you was doing anything-”

“I AM NOT MOLESTING YOUR **** BODY!” Danica yelled at the top of her lungs. Once again, the room went dead quiet and all the diners stopped to stare. Her cheeks flushed a furious shade of crimson.

“If you say so.” Luciana said.

“This day keeps getting worse, and it’s still morning.” She sighed heavily.

“Tell me about it. Anyway, what time you got?” Luciana pointed to Danica’s wrist watch. “Rhonda’s supposed to be down here by 9 or she’ll be disqualified, they said.” Danica winced at the name.

“She’s got about 15 minutes before…” Danica trailed off, “She knows what’s at stake.”

“That’s the second time someone’s mentioned that and still no one explains.” Luciana grabbed her wand and slid out of the booth. “Dunno if you ate already but you should try this place. They don’t even have a menu, they’ll bring you whatever you want.” I guess it would have to be food I know about, seeing as it’s my fantasy and all. But no need to remind her. Luciana patted the disheveled woman on the shoulder on her way out.