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Chapter 2
by LazyPenName
Are you a little bitch?
No
"Of course not!" you exclaim.
"Good. Now, let me explain some rules. No wishing for more wishes, obviously, and don't try to find a way around that, either. Wishing for another lamp or another genie won't get you anywhere. I can't make you a god. I can't kill anyone directly. You could wish for a gun to do it yourself, but I couldn't snap my fingers and make them dead. This all makin' sense to you?"
"Yeah, lots of dollars and plenty of sense." You grin.
"Oh, God, you're not going to waste it on 'a million bucks' are you?"
"No." Your grin grows even wider. "I wish for a billion dollars."
The genie holds his head in his hands. "Why?! Every fucking time!" He snaps his fingers.
You hear wood snapping and glass breaking as you're bombarded by bundles of one dollar bills. "What the fuck just happened?!"
"You just got one billion dollars!" The genie responds, clearly annoyed. "None of you dumb mother fuckers ever stop to think about where that money is gonna go. You're now one billion dollars richer, and one house poorer. Have fun digging your way out."
It takes you ten minutes, but you eventually manage to wade through your riches. You emerge in the road. You see a dozen or so people lined up in the street taking pictures of your mountain of cash.
The genie floats up behind you. "You ready to waste another wish?"
"I didn't waste it, I have a billion dollars. I'm rich!"
"Yeah. Have fun getting it to the bank. You could've just wished for a one hundred billion dollar check from Giigle." The genie laughs.
"You're a dick."
"Yep." He grins. "Now, are we ready for another wish?"
You grin back. "Oh, I think I know what I want next. And I think you're going to like it."
What do you wish for next?
Wish Upon a Star
Three More Wishes Than Yesterday
Before you floats a genie. Big, blue, Willy, and Smithy. "Aight, here's how this is gonna go. I'mma give you three wishes, and if I like what I see, I'll keep the wishes comin' one way or another. I've been trapped out in the cosmos or some shit for 24 years, and I wanna see some action. Since I'm stuck with you, you'll have to do." Looks like $59.99 for that antique lamp was a better bargain than you'd imagined.
Updated on Jan 25, 2025
by LazyPenName
Created on Jun 6, 2022
by LazyPenName
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