She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer

It actually was a shorter stakeout than Takoff had been expecting. Within 30 minutes, a person matching the description of her target passed through the border gates and made their way into a small countryhouse next to the gate. Good, this will be over quickly. It couldn't come soon enough; I'm getting kinda cold. Takoff thought, reaching back to rub her some warmth back into her butt. The dwarf put away her spyglass, stuffing it into her satchel, before climbing out of the bush she was hiding in.

And tumbling face-first over the lip of a hill.

She rolled head over tail all the way down the substantial hill, some of her tools and ammo tumbling out of her satchel along the way, before flying into a puddle of mud and landing with a splash. As she pulled herself out, her body making a *pop* sound as she pulled up her head, Takoff spit out the mud from her mouth, hoping to the gods that it was _only _mud. Wiping the muck from her eyes, she picked up her crossbow, and took a few sloshing sticky steps toward the house.

As Takoff leaned against the outside of the townhouse, the mud drying quickly on her face and apron, she listened closely for sounds inside. It was strangely quiet, yet she knew someone had gone inside just moments ago. However, the thought of traps never crossed her supposedly highly trained mind, instead replaced with satisfaction. I've got you now, idiot.

Now, a clever bounty hunter might have known the gnomes typically were highly trained in magic and known for their penchant for trickery. The natural thing to do would be to scope out the area, determine if any charms were in place or if the target was indeed inside at all, and go in through the safest and fastest route.

As I'm sure you've surmised, Takoff was not a clever bounty hunter.

"Surrender, scum!" The dwarf yelled as she burst in the door. She fired a bolt from her crossbow into the room and heard it clatter off of a metal object against the far wall. "You can't hide forever! I'm the best there is, so just give up now and this will be over soon."

She took a few steps inside, only for the door to suddenly slam shut behind her and wrap her in darkness. A nasty little laugh filled her ears as her eyes darted around the room. "My, my. I didn't expect such easy prey right off the bat. This'll be fun, won't it?" As Takoff looked around the room, firing bolts at various corners of the room in a vain attempt to figure out the source of the sound, the voice spoke again. "Let's start with something a bit more... restrictive."

A sharp *snap* echoed in the small space. When nothing happened, Takoff started to laugh. "Was that some kind of cheap spell? How'd the guild have so much trouble with y-WHOA!" She cut herself off as she tried to take a step and felt her feet stick to the floor. As she tried to lift her right leg, her foot slipped right out of her expensive leather boot, sending her falling to the ground and landing on her chest. As she bounced on her sizeable rack, she noticed her apron had also stuck fast to the floor, leaving her unable to move. "Wha- what is this? Let me go, you gremlin!"

"Hey, the gremlins are respectable people! My last boss was a gremlin, and he was very generous with my loan repayments. Not generous enough to forget them, mind you, but-"

"Let me out of here!" Takoff tried to pull herself off the floor, slipping out of her left boot as well and kicking her bare feet in the air like a toddler having a tantrum.

"Sorry, afraid I can't help you there. I've got places to be, chief among them away from you. Buh-bye!"

Takoff felt a pair of small feet run over her exposed back, leaving tiny dirty prints on her pristine white back and butt. "Hey, wait! You can't just leave me here!"

"Hey, it's just your apron that's stuck to the floor. You don't need that badly, do you?" The front door opened, flooding the room with light and causing Takoff to moon the outside.

Not wanting to lose a payday, Takoff made a difficult choice and untied the strings around her neck and waist, letting her apron fall off. She carefully stood up, making sure not to let her feet touch the floor. Now nearly totally naked, the dwarf had to resist the urge to cover herself, reminding herself that she had no time to waste. Adjusting her hat, her last piece of clothing, she looked around the room to see the floor had been coated with a slime-like substance that had hardened around her boots and apron. The outside was close, however, so she clenched her butt cheeks, bent her knees, and made a standing jump through the door to continue her pursuit.