The second casualty of war

After Alex slapped me, I walked in a daze to the camp. His last order was to clean up my face and go to bed. I touched my face with my fingers and saw and felt in the moonlight they were wet and dark red. My face and collar were bloodied. Not that I cared that much, but his order was to go clean my face. He was so angry when he told me that. I fucked up. I couldn’t even protect myself. And we were at war. I had to be saved by my own platoon leader. I am so fucking useless.

I stumbled into the camp. Stumbling over sleeping bags. **** to look for something to clean up my face. Others woke up suddenly. They saw me there standing, almost in the middle of the camp.

“What the hell is going on?” Dieter was almost yelling, waking up the rest of the group.

“Om my god, what happened to you?” Tom asked in shock.

“Om my god, your face is full of... blood?” Kate whispered loudly, almost fainting.

Dave didn’t say anything. Nothing seemed to faze him. Michael just turned and went back to sleeping. The two gay boys got out of their sleeping bags and rushed to me. One of them, Peter, supported me to sit on the floor as if was going to faint soon. The other one, Jon, was more of a practical mindset and looked for a towel, came back and dabbed my face with it, slowly removing the blood.

I blurted it out.

“Kemal... tried to **** me... Alex... Alex interfered. He killed him.”

“Kemal killed Alex?” Dieter asked afraid.

“No, no, Alex saved me. Alex killed Kemal.”

“He did?” Kate said in amazement, not once but twice: ”Alex saved you from Kemal?”

“Yes, he did, he cut his throat, of Kemal, that is. Not his own. Suddenly Kemal was there before me. Grabbed my throat. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t scream. Couldn’t... he shoved his hand under my cloths and groped my tits. Released my throat. Threatened me.”

“Easy now, easy...” Peter tried to calm me.

“So Kemal came to you, tried to **** you, grabbed you by the throat, suffocating you. He groped you...” Dieter tried to get an understanding of it all.

“No, he loosened his grip first, could breathe again, could have screamed, but didn’t. Too afraid. Didn’t do anything. Just let it happen. Then he threatened me. Said if I didn’t respect him, if I didn’t let him... he would kill me. No, not like that. Said...”

“Easy now, easy...” Peter tried in vain again.

“Then said... Would have said... But then Alex. With his knife.”

“After Kemal threatened you, Alex killed him.” Dieter tried to summarize, not very helpful.

“Yes...”

“He really did that for you? Alex killed Kemal trying to **** you?” Kate asked again.

“Yes,” I repeated. “Don’t you believe me?” I asked in panic. Oh no, what if they don’t believe me?

As if suddenly afraid of not choosing my side of the story, given all the blood on my face, Kate lifted her arms and held out her palms to me, saying quickly:

“Oh no, I believe you. Kemal... that asshole! Alex... saved you...” As if she still couldn’t believe it was Alex that did the saving.

“He did.” Jon said. “So very good of him.”

“Yes.” Dave said, opening his mouth for the first time.

Bit by bit I calmed down. Breathing normally again after a while. I wanted to finish my story.

“So after Alex saved me, he asked me to clean up my face and go to bed...”

“Where is Alex by the way?” Tom asked.

“He asked Kylie to clean up and go to bed.” Dave said, as if talking to idiots. “So he wants to cover it up.”

“How?” Tom asked naively.

“How the hell should I know? There aren’t many ways to cover it up.”

“I meant... oh, he is probably burying him now.” Tom stated.

“Yes, but I meant the ways Alex could avoid the authorities.” Dave said as if talking to a child.

“Oh, fuck! I put him in trouble.” I exclaimed.

“Hmm...” Dave hummed.

I didn’t know what he meant with that exactly, but I already felt the guilt wash over me. Alex could go to jail for this. Or worse, be shot for it. Or at least be removed from leadership. Oh no, not that...

“He can do two things: tell the officers Kemal died by his hands trying to save Kylie...”

“No!” I exclaimed.

“His choice to do so, Kylie, or he could say Kemal left somehow, scared off by him, catching him by surprise trying to **** Kylie.

“Not very believable,” Kate intervened. “Kemal could have easily killed Alex instead.”

“True.” Dave replied. “Or he could say Kemal simply deserted.”

“That would mean...” Jon tried to figure it out, but we all knew the answer, well perhaps most of us.

“That would mean none of us tells anything about what happened here to the officers. Nothing about Kemal trying to **** me, nothing about what Alex did to save me, nothing about what we just talked about.”

“Yes, but it is Alex’ choice what to tell the officers. We just follow his lead and keep our mouths shut.” Dave agreed.

“But if he tells the officers he killed Kemal? That would mean he would have to leave us.” I still was anxious about that outcome.

“I doubt he will do that. After all, his first instinct was to cover it up. Perhaps out of guilt he would do it. But that indeed would mean he would have to leave us. And not be able to protect us further. Or he could just run.”

“He won’t do that,” Kate said emphatically. “He promised our mother he would protect us two. And as team leader he promised us implicitly to care of us. Now I see what his promises mean. He really, really means it. He won’t leave us, certainly not the two of us.”

I saw a sudden and remarkable shift in Kate happening before my eyes. From disbelief Alex saved me, to outright admiration for Alex. What had happened before the war, that Kate had had such a low opinion of him before... all this?

“Then it is settled, right? We say nothing, we follow his lead.” Tom asked all of us.

It was settled. We all agreed. And we all agreed to respect him more. Me most of all. Perhaps, no almost certainly, I felt a bit more than just respect or admiration for him. And I was in his debt. Massively. Fuck, I had no idea how to repay him.