Meeting the Straw Hats Pt 2: The Chef and The Shipwright

The Sabaody Archipelago auditorium was a large building, capable of holding many and broadcasting huge messages to the world if needed. The town was such a melting pot of cultures, including all those who dreamed of seeing the New World yet lacked the power and drive to survive in it, including those that were only there to get closer to the Celestial Dragon home of Mary Geoise, including those that travel to the New World to supply it with various items. So it made sense they’d be on the cutting edge of technology, and have perhaps the best concert hall in the whole Grand Line. This is what Brook believed at least, and it was why he felt so confident having his final song as part of his new crew be here. He could rejoin the Straw Hats in peace after this, knowing his fans would be satisfied.

“So. The final performance of the great and profitable Soul King.”

Just as he had finished his pre-concert tuning of his prized shark guitar, Brook was suddenly visited by his backup singers. Three blonde sisters in long red dresses, they had been with the skeleton since they’d really hit the big time. Cheryl, Mila, and Rio had performed any and all requests the old man had given them when it came to music. Supporting his act when his long armed managers had pushed back, letting him really push his limits in training.

“The bosses aren’t gonna like that.” Rio shook her head with a comical tut.

“No, that we can agree on.” Brook sighed solemnly, standing up and gesturing towards the door. “I recommend all of you to make a swift exit before the show in case things take a turn. I’d hate for you all to get involved in my messy divorce. No need for us all to die, though I’m already-!”

“You involved us in it by making us part of your band.” Cheryl huffed, crossing her arms with a pout, “Think you can just push us away and join your friends without us doing anything?”

“Though I do apologise, I’m afraid my missing heart made the decision to leave a long time ago, mademoiselles.” Brook bowed, “And unfortunately the seas we will be travelling are no place for such delicate flowers as you three.”

The three giggled a little amongst themselves, “I think we can excuse you calling us that since the New World is super rough.” Mila admitted, “But we don’t want to join you. We just wanted to give you something to remember us by you ol bag of bones.”

He tilted his head at that, “Are you all going to show me your panties?”

Once more they giggled, but this time they began guiding him to their dressing room. “In a way, yes.” Rio smirked while locking the door behind them, “But we were thinking about a little more than just looking…”

Brook looked around the room at the three a little sadder. “Though it is a lovely offer girls, there is no boner, only bones in my underwear to satisfy you…”

“We’ve been with you long enough Brook.” Mila repeated. “We’ve seen you develop your powers, and Cheryl had a great idea to maybe solve your little penile problem.”

Turning with growing interest, the skeleton looked at a minxful smile on Cheryl as she held something behind her back. “Your fruit is based on your soul possessing your bones and puppeting them about. We found that out during the great 'Head fall off fiasco' concert back last year. But using that principal...”

Before Brook could divulge in the discussion, Rio flicked him in the wrist. “Ow. Why-?”

“We can also see you clearly feel things on parts that shouldn’t feel anything, like bones with no nerves. So if I'm right, Rio just flicked your soul, more or less. Which also means...” With a great amount of showmanship Cheryl flipped around her back and in the air before catching it with style. Brook's eye sockets widened at the sight of a large purple strap on. “...maybe we can make your soul possess more than just your bones?”

After a hellish swing through the majority of the Archipelago, solid ground was finally returned to me as the Thousand Sunny was in sight once more. I was so disorientated from the ride I could barely register it though. Not helped by the new position on Luffy’s back I was in. Him holding my leg over his shoulder with my head dipping down to floor level, bumping my skull atop the ground as he ran quickly to the ship.

Even from where we were, I could tell the scene on board the Sunny was a lot more boisterous than how I’d left it.

It seemed a few more Straw Hats had returned in my absence. From what I could tell, Cyborg Franky had really pimped himself up and decked himself out, looking incredibly more bulky than he had on his Wanted Poster. He seemed loud and proud, showing off a lot of his robotic features, as Usopp and Chopper cheered and clapped. Nami and Robin were far less interested, chatting away half naked on a couple deck chairs and ignoring the large robot while another member, Black Leg Sanji, doted on them hand and foot with a big heart in his eye. He was literally on his knees with a couple of multicoloured drinks on a tray.

“Thank you Sanji-kun <3.” said Nami, smiling after a hearty sip from her drink. “It’s been so long since I’ve tasted your meals, the food on Weatheria just didn’t stack up!”

“Ah~! To hear praise from a beautiful woman once more!” Sanji practically swooned, “And from one that has grown into such a vibrant and amazing one such as Nami-Swan! My years in hell have certainly been worth it for such a moment as this!”

“You’ve grown up too, chef-kun.” Robin giggled, also enjoying the orangey green drink. Sanji was about to explode into more heart filled word vomit, but was cut off when he felt something brush against his hardness. “Do you mind if we have a feel to see how much you’ve grown?”

“Ooh! Yes yes, groping time!” Nami nodded, licking her lips and reaching towards Sanji’s pants. “I really wanna make a chart of WOAH!”

Before either could actually feel his penis, a jetstream of blood rocketed him across the deck. His head landed hard against the wooden railing, dazing him though he kept a rather large dopey grin. Everyone looked over to worry about him, yet was distracted by me and their captain finally reaching the main stage.

“EVERYONE!” Luffy exclaimed, jumping towards his friends with sheer child like bliss and excitement, “YOU’RE HERE~!! USOPP, CHOPPER, NAMI, SANJI, ROBIN, FR- FRANKY~?!? YOU’RE A GIANT ROBOT NOW!!! AMAZING!!!!!”

The present crew exploded in happiness and praise, a beautiful scene of reunion as Luffy ran up to each and every one of them to squeeze his friend’s after such a long time apart. Only stopping to let Nami and Robin squeeze him back, then ignoring their praise to watch the latest show from his cyborg shipwright.

But where am I you might ask?

I was the pile of flesh he’d dumped before he jumped. Currently hanging off the side of the huge ship after Luffy had accidentally flipped me off the side in his passion. Now I was staring at the large number 3 while barely holding on, pained fingers already working overtime to keep me from falling to either the hard ground or deep ocean below me.

Needless to say, it was quite the morning. One that was too tiring to make enough noise over the rabble to call for help, and too tiring to come up with a normality to save my ass. Not without the fear I’d fuck up even more present. Trusting me I’d say it’s normal for the ocean to be made of jelly and kill most fish in the process…

It was all too much. Overwhelmed didn’t even begin to describe my body. I could feel my brain tuning itself to off mode, perhaps to make my final moments a little less terrible, blackness was clawing at my vision, hands digging desperately into the wood to hold my dead weight body up.

“Oi.” I heard a voice from above me, just as the last of my diminishing will was leaving me. “Need a hand?”

In my last moments of consciousness I felt a hand grasp my shirt, supporting my whole body that was no longer holding onto the wood. Dragging me up to the grassy terrain was someone blonde, I knew that much, I’d probably also tell you he was covered in blood, but at that point I was basically gone. All I heard was a concerned womanly voice shout out for me. One that made a part of me realise… I was really happy to hear anyone worry about me after so long…

“Sir, we have reports of multiple Straw Hats on Sabaody Archipelago.”

“Mmhmm.”

There was a pause between the marine and his superior officer.

“Um, what are your orders, sir?”

“Hmm? Oh, keep up the good work.”

There was another pause.

“Sorry sir but, what does that mean? Should we move in to capture? Leave them be? Report them to someone else? We are the closest base, and there’s two Celestial Dragons there have been shouting at me over the Den Den Mushi-”

“THOMPKINS!!” The senior officer bellowed, slamming a paw onto his desk. “Can you not see me getting a blowjob here?!”

Thompkins shuffled awkwardly on the spot. “Y-yes sir, b-but-”

“Then don’t you think I need to finish up with my Vice Captain here?” He hissed in rage, and Thompkins could hear an annoyed agreement from his other blonde superior. “We both know we don’t have the manpower to fight the Straw Hats after half the base requested a sick day to fuck the OTHER half the base! Just leave ‘em be then leave ME be!!”

The young officer nodded shamefully. Part of him sad that the base had become like this after a routine training mission. The other half sad that he’d missed his chance with Vice Captain Larson, and he’d tried so desperately to get to her first.

“Wait.” He heard his crush say before he walked off. “Let him stay Reg. I’ve got an itch that only two cocks inside me can scratch.”

Robin delicately took the **** Natsuo to Chopper’s office. Looking quite concerned at the masseuse’s various cuts and bruises as he lay flat on the deck with many feet along his back walking him along. Meanwhile the rest of the Straw Hats were still catching up.

“Whuff that guy you brought here was in rough shape, Luffy.” Sanji remarked, lighting a cigarette after cleaning up the majority of his own blood from his shirt. After giving it a few puffs Sanji scowled towards the office. “Anyone know who he is? My Robin-Chwan seemed awfully chummy with him.”

Usopp and Nami shared a look. Both psychically debating with each other whether to reveal to the love struck chef who Natsuo really was. And the fact that her womb was currently filled with his child.

“That’s Robin’s fuckbuddy! He told me himself!” Luffy chuckled, happily negating the psychic conversation. “They’re gonna have a baby together! And I think Natsuo’s going to ask if Robin will marry him!”

Sanji swallowed his cigarette.

“Uhh, wow this is totally new information for us!” Usopp lied in a grandiose fashion, having to shout loudly over Sanji’s coughing while also nudging Nami in the arm.

“Ye~ah! What a shocking twist! Who would have thought any of us would have a new significant other!” She slightly teased in his tone.

Amongst Sanji’s coughing and spluttering, Franky whistled. “Dang! I guess it makes sense that someone saw how SUPER Nico Robin was! Good for them!”

A cigarette was violently coughed onto the deck before the cyborg’s collar was suddenly yanked, dragging to oversized man downwards to an explosively angry chef. “It is NOT fucking SUPER you shitty tin can! Our prized Robin-Chwan was STOLEN from us! The prime of her life! Inseminated by some mysterious stranger who we don’t know!!”

Even with all the shaking Franky just calmly tilted his head, “Would you have preferred one of us to impregnate her?”

“Yes!” Sanji yelled angrily before changing his expression and tearing up, “Me!” He whined sadly, suddenly resting his head on Franky’s chest. He slammed his fist sadly into the man’s metallic abs as a big robotic paw patted his back. “Dammit! Why didn’t I escape from that island sooner!?”

“Hey, c’mon bro! There’s no guarantee she would have chosen you anyway!” Franky attempted to reassure, receiving quite the angry glare up at him. “...that came out wrong…”

Before he could explain himself they were interrupted by a rubber arm dragging the chef away, “Sanji! I’m hungry! I’ve been wanting to eat your food for two years!”

“Can’t you see I’m grieving Luffy!” He growled melodramatically, “My Robin-Chwan is gone!”

Luffy looked at the doctor’s office. “Sanji, are you dumb now? She just went in there.”

“JUST-! …ugh. It’s good to know you haven’t changed.” He sighed his anger away, patting his Captain’s shoulder. “Maybe Robin found someone, but as long as you’re still you I know that I won’t be alone in my virginity on this ship.”

Usopp’s brow began sweating profusely, hoping the topic wouldn’t swing into a who’s who of virgins. Beside him Nami was smirking at his obvious fear.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Luffy smiled, replicating Sanji’s hand motion to ask, “Can we eat now?”

“Sure sure.” Said Sanji, walking up the stairs to the kitchen. “Franky’s right though. If one of you guys took one of our precious female crew all to yourselves I’d be incredibly angry.”

-Sploosh!-

The crew all looked around in confusion to the source of the sound.

“What was that?”

Nami sighed, hand on her face. “Usopp just jumped overboard.”

Sanji’s eyes tightened in suspicion.

“Why?”