Well, there was Viradana, the constable

“I recall this one chick, Viradana was her name. Hot brunette, legs from here to the capital, and a pair of tits you couldn’t fit in a breastplate. I was staying in this small caravan town couple hundred miles west from here, you see, beyond the great mountains..."

"Can you at least get me some clothes before you regale me with your bullshit?!" Evellyn scoffs.

You ignore her. "...and as is my habit I elected to stay here for a couple days to recharge, before making the trek through the great desert to the great plains. Mhm, cartographers weren't very creative back in the day, were they? Anyway, I'd settled in nice and snug, enjoying myself and doing a bit of modest pickpocketing and underwear-snatching when all of a sudden this miss Viradana, who was like the local sherrif or lawkeeper, got all up in my business and threatened to arrest me for thieving!"

You lean expectantly towards Evellyn. She sighs and rolls her eyes: "... and what happened then...?"

"Well, obviously I stripped her of her uniform and sent her packing. I was nice about it though, I let her keep her feathery hat and rapier, plus a few other bits and bobs."

"Well gosh I did not see that one coming..." Evellyn mutters with disinterest.

"She quickly scampered off, of course, but you'll never guess what happened next..."

* sigh * "what happened next..."