Pomme de Terre Bataille

Noemi sat alone in the dining hall; everyone else seemed eager to go about their day and move on, but the Chilean woman sat there stewing in her feelings. Ever since she got here, she got the sense that people were rooting against her, even when they were getting along. No one seemed to take her seriously, her love for Caleb, or her desire to make the Harem as happy as possible. The only one who seemed to actually listen at all was Caleb, and even he…

It was understandable; she tried to have thick skin about these things, and it wasn’t like he had ignored her completely. Still, after checking in and a hug, it was clear he thought Amy needed him more than she did, which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn’t everyone, every time. She knew she had to share, but was it so much to ask that when something like this came up, one person could try to see her side of things?

The dejected woman deflated into her arms. She was so grateful for this chance to make good with Caleb, and after the last round, she fully understood how much of a miracle it was that they were brought together again as lovers. She just wanted other people to understand and experience that same miracle! All of them could be so happy, living together, loving together with Caleb at the center, having children…so many children…

She wiped the gooey smile from her face. The problem was that everyone else was getting in their own way. If only they would just listen, even for a moment…she knew she could get them to come round!

A lightbulb went off in her brain, and she got up from the table and hurried out of the room. She had totally forgotten that another blessing had come to the hotel at the end of the last round. She peeked her head into the entry hall and was pleasantly surprised to find it empty. She had been slightly worried that Caleb and Eliza might still be looking at books. She hoped they were off doing more productive things. She was so young now that the professor could easily get pregnant, and they needed to take advantage of that!

While she knew Caleb would have her best interests at heart and probably would try to stop her, it was only because he was too worried about playing things safe and not seeing the potential of what this opportunity could be for all of them. He was so sweet, but he lacked ambition, which is why he needed Noemi! She knew that fortune and destiny favoured those who took chances.

She had played it safe her entire life, going to college, keeping her head down, working a dead-end job to support her family. Even though she always wanted to take risks, she had let “better” judgment hamper her path, no more!

Off in a small alcove, opposite the bar, stood a small wooden table that came up to chest height. Suspended in the air and twirling gently within a glass cloche was a little envelope with a heart on it. To the side was a thin, black, expensive-looking pen.

Carefully, Noemi removed the cloche and set it down on the ground, reaching out to take the envelope in hand. To her surprise, as soon as it was in her grip, the envelope lip sprang open, and a full piece of parchment sprang out. The parchment had a calligraphied letterhead that said “Your dreams for 5 VP”

Noemi bit her lip. This was the only part of the plan that gave her pause. While she might not have Maya’s head for numbers, it didn't take a math whiz to understand that with opportunities for VP becoming fewer, it would only get harder to reach 100 VP let alone win and take the wish. The question thus became: did Noemi believe in her ability to overcome such an obstacle?

The answer was obvious, Noemi chuckled to herself as she dispelled all doubt in her mind and took the pen in hand. Destiny had brought her here for love, and she knew in her heart of hearts she was destined not just to be Caleb’s lover, but his queen. So could she overcome such an obstacle? Ridiculous question, destiny made it so that she must!

Finishing her request, as Noemi lifted the pen away, the envelope retracted the parchment like it was pulling in a tongue and closed itself. Then, in a puff of pink smoke, not just the envelope, but the whole table it had rested on vanished.

Noemi frowned, holding the pen in her hand and looking down on it quizzically, “Huh, what now?”

She was barely given time to ponder, as in a puff of smoke, a girl appeared, dressed in a fluffy white bathrobe and nothing else. The poor girl was looking thoroughly embarrassed as she yelped and tried to cover herself. She had silky, long white hair and red eyes; her pale skin was pink under a luminescent blush, and from the top of her head rose two devil-like horns.

Noemi reached out a hand while raising an eyebrow, “Are you ok?”

The girl, face still crimson, shook her head violently, “Kikki is a-ok, but golly-gee so embarrassed, a little warning would have been nice!” She held her robe tightly closed to as best as possible conceal her petite form, “I’m so sorry you have to see Kikki in such a state…when you were asking for help and everything.”

Smiling lightly, Noemi shook her head, “You’re a contestant too, right? I’m sure you were busy…I didn’t even consider you might be-” She looked the girl, referring to herself as Kikki, up and down, “-in the middle of something…”

Kikki frowned, “No harm no foul, just this really isn’t the way I do business…dressed like this…if only someone could offer a change of clothes?” She peered upward towards the ceiling, tapping her foot and then repeating insistently, “I said-if only someone could offer me a change of clothes?!”

A disembodied sigh filled the air, followed by the faint sound of the snapping of fingers. With a flash of fire surrounding Kikki, her bathrobe was replaced with a maid uniform. The blonde gave a relieved sigh, and her look of embarrassment was quickly replaced with a confident smile as she curtsied for Noemi

“Sorry about that! In all of the hustle, Kikki forgot her manners. I’m Kikki Peshkova. I heard your plea, and I’m here to help make all your dreams come true!”

Noemi smiled, “If you can really do that, I’d be thankful, honestly, I’ve been struggling so hard to get the other women here to see sense. If you can help…”

Kikki gave a confident wink, “No worries there, my girl, let's just see what you had in mind.” She pulled out the envelope that had vanished and then closed it, tipping the envelope over her shoulder and grinning broadly, “Oh, this here? No problem, easy peasy for little old me.” She flipped her wrist in the air in front of Noemi, and a pink piece of paper floated, slightly sparkling and smelling distinctly floral. “Just remember, once you make the deal, no takesies-backsies.”

Noemi looked over the form and signed it and frowned, her grip tightening on the pen as text appeared on the form following her signature being added to it, and looking over to the imp, “What’s this under the 5VP for payment?”

Noemi- Purchased Devil Deal! -5 VP

“Oh, Noes!. I must have screwed up, but I can’t take it back now. I really wish I could change it, I would if I could!” She pouted.

Cursed Luckstone: Ability check fail

Noemi peered closer to read the text: ‘Service Provided: While maintaining skin contact with another contestant, that contestant will find themselves agreeing with Noemi.” Noemi smiled, she liked that and continued, “ Payment: 5 VP” and then under that, “24 hours following use of this ability, any contestant it was used on will interpret Noemi's actions in the least flattering way”

Noemi grit her teeth; it already felt like that was the norm anyway! She then reread it and grinned, “Hey, based on this wording, if I keep touching them, the negative effect will never happen!”

Kikki put a hand on either side of her mouth, “Oh gosh, big Sis! You’re so right! They really thought they could slip one past you, but you’re too smart!”

Preening, Noemi chuckled and folded the contract. At least there was another contestant somewhere who saw her for the queen she was!

The contract floated to Kikki, and as she took hold of it, from under her skirt appeared a tail. The blonde giggled, “Oh, that’s new!”

Noemi chuckled, “We have an imp here on our season, but she’s not nearly as cool as you.”

“Aw, big Sis, that means a lot.” Pink smoke began to gather around Kikki, and she smiled and waved, “Looks like it’s time to go! It was a pleasure meeting you.” For a second, the cheeky smile was replaced by a flicker of a smirk, “Enjoy your deal,” before the imp vanished, the desk reappeared, and left Noemi alone, smiling at the vision of the future that was now confidently in view.

While Noemi basked in confidence, across the island, another contestant was questioning the circumstances that had made them arrive at this moment:

“Noooooo!” Amy whined, pushing her hand into Stella’s face as the imp attempted to help her off the ground, “Get away from me, meanie!” She followed this up by kicking Stella in the stomach and causing the redhead to buckle over and hold the wall for support.

“Fuck! Are you smuggling lead in your legs, Jesus fuck. You do that again, and I’m going to lose everything.” She pushed off the wall, “Now let me help you!”

“No! You just threw a glass at me, buttface! And and and you were super mean! I’m not going anywhere with you!” She then proceeded to fold her body into a lump, sitting in her own fluids on the ground.

“Goddamn, Amy, that’s gross. Fuck, I’m sorry, ok?” For a moment, Stella looked something resembling regretful, “I didn’t mean to break your horn.” The look was gone as quickly as it came, “Now you need a bath before game night, or Caleb is going to fucking kill me.” The imp lunged and grabbed the Oni’s arm with both hands and pulled, and began to drag the curled up mess that was Amy towards the door.

As she began to move, Amy released her position to begin kicking her legs in a petulant manner, “No! No! No! I don’t want to take a bath! I already took one today! I don’t want to!”

“That was before you pissed and came all over yourself!” Stella sniped as she kicked the door to the bar open and dragged Amy out into the light of day. She thought for a moment that the oni had stopped fighting her, but as she made it to one of the stone bridge ways, she turned to check on Amy, only for the oni to arch and spring up her body and nail her again in the stomach with both feet.

“Jesus- you motherfuck- I! EUGH” Stella immediately had to turn towards the water and began to empty her stomach of the liquor that she had collected inside her gut all morning.

Meanwhile, behind her on the ground, Amy was kicking and flailing her arms, repeating “I don’t WANNA!”

Slowly steadying herself, Stella wiped her mouth before rounding on Amy, “Alright, listen here, you little…why are you crying?!”

Sure enough, on the ground, Amy’s cries had given way to tears as she flailed on the ground. When Stella yelled, it caused Amy’s eyes to flare open, only to be followed by a wail and a cry intermixed with sobs, “W-Why -hic- are you so mean to muh-me? I-I thought we were friends!”

Stopping like she had been struck in the face, Stella bit her lip, “Why? Why would you want to be friends with someone like me?” She clenched her fists, “I’m loud, I don’t shut up, I’m crass, I don’t listen to people, I’m…I’m the fucking worst, and none of it makes a fucking difference.” She hunched down and hugged her knees, “No matter what I do, it won’t make a fucking difference, so what’s the point in being friends with someone as awful as me?”

Amy leaned up, confused, “What are you even talking about?”

The imp turned her head to the side, “Yeah, right, you’re too stupid to understand anything I’m saying.”

“You’re being mean again!” Amy pouted but then crawled over, “And I’m not stupid! You’re stupid!”

“Pssh, preaching to the choir on that one…” Stella sneered.

“No, you dummy, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but what does any of it have to do with being friends?” Amy stared at Stella.

Stella frowned and recoiled under the Oni’s gaze, “What do you mean? I said there’s no point in being friends.”

Amy shook her head insistently, “No, that’s dumb, there’s never a point to friends other than one thing.”

Stella scoffed and raised an eyebrow, “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“I like being with you.” Amy said simply, looking at the imp with eyes shining with sincerity.

Shrinking back under the oppression of Amy’s ocular attack, the imp blanched, “That's…that’s so fucking dumb. You sound so fucking stupid. What? You like being with me? Why?”

The oni responded with a shrug and then followed up by asking, “Do you like being with me?”

“Why are you being so gross right now?!” Stella found herself inching back on the ground, “You and the audience? Why does any of that fucking matter? Why…” She stopped, confused as to a wet sensation on her cheek, looking up to find no rain, she touched her cheek and found she was crying.

Amy tilted her head to the side, “If it’s dumb, why can’t you answer the question?”

Stella was clenching her teeth together so tightly she felt her jaw becoming sore as her chest tightened. She wanted to be anywhere but here right now and began to scramble to her feet. She turned and made to launch herself away from Amy, not knowing where but just needing to run and get away from that gaze, that fucking look. That stupid fucking sincerity that lacked any guile or deceit.

She pushed off the ground to start running when she found her legs wrapped in Amy’s herculean grip as the oni wrapped herself like a bolas around the imp's legs. Pouting, the pink-skinned oni growled, “No! No running! You have to say it!”

Stella tried to push off and sent herself tumbling to the ground as Amy kept her pinned and stared down at her, unbudging.

Feeling her face bright red as she was **** to stare up at the other woman, she let out a defeated “Fine!” Stella brought her arms up to hide her face and muttered, “I…like hanging out with you.”

A big grin crossed Amy’s face, and she began to giggle while sitting on Stella's legs, “I like hanging out with you, too”

Stella punched her hand into the ground, with a frown that didn’t quite make it to her eyes, still hidden by her arms, “This is so dumb…” and for a moment a smile broke through the frown.