Pizzas and Pep Talks

“How about you, Becca? How’re you holding up?” You ask Becca.

Yours and Becca’s pizza just arrived, and the two of you are lounging near the large windows where you and Brooke had your dinner date last night. The two of you haven’t really talked much since you placed the call to Mel’s to order a pizza. She called for some extra pajamas from housekeeping and you both changed into something more comfortable before the pizza arrived. You’ve only really talked about your stay in the hotel so far while the two of you waited for the food. Becca mostly asked questions about your satisfaction with the amenities, the service, and what more could be improved, that it felt like she was just doing a quality check for her work.

You didn’t mind though. You understood that that’s her job, and it may just be something that comes natural to her to ask.

To finally break away from that topic, you ask your question about how she’s been, shifting the conversation to something you’re more interested in, now that the pizza has arrived.

“It must have been a whirlwind these past few days. Flying to Vegas to get a project you always wanted, finding out you got fired out of nowhere, finding out that he’s threatening your private ventures too, flying back here to confront your father… I’m amazed you’re handling it all with so much poise.” You compliment her.

“It has been quite a few days, yes; but nothing that I wasn’t prepared for.” Becca answers succinctly, before taking a bite of her pizza slice with just as much poise; using a knife and fork to eat her pizza.

“How could you possibly be prepared for something like that?” You ask her, and Becca only thinks about it for a second then shrugs nonchalantly before saying “I just know how my father thinks.”, and you give her a nod in response, accepting that maybe that’s really all the explanation necessary.

You decide to take a bite of your pizza slice after she answers you. Although, you do it with a lot less poise than Becca. You basically dangle it over your mouth and stick your tongue out so the tip of the pizza touches your tongue before taking a bite.

“This pizza really is your favorite, isn’t it?” Becca asks, and you give her a “Yeah.” with your mouth still full of pizza. Becca seems to find your way of getting an initial bite of pizza funny, and covers her mouth while laughing.

“Although, I didn’t notice you ate it that way the last time we had this.” Becca comments.

“Probably because you were too busy eating it with a knife and fork.” You answer back teasingly. You decide to take another bite the same way, despite not needing to anymore as you can fold it to keep it from flopping down; but since it’s something she finds amusing, you decide to do it again to keep her spirits up.

“I’d have you know that using a knife and fork is actually the proper way of eating pizza.” Becca argues.

“Proper? Maybe. Arguably. But is it the best way to eat pizza? Surely not.” You answer playfully, getting another bite of your folded pizza.

“If you’re going to fold your pizza, you might as well order a calzone. At least you wouldn’t need a knife and fork for that.” Becca continues to banter.

“Okay, Ben Wyatt.” You jokingly retort.

“I am not familiar with who that is.” Becca replies in confusion.

“Ooh~. You know, for someone who works in the restaurant industry, you should really know your contemporaries.” You continue to joke with her. Becca raises her eyebrows, before figuring out what it is you’re doing.

“That was a pop culture reference, wasn’t it?” Becca asks you with a shy smile.

“You got me.” You reply with a laugh.

“All that being said, you can’t possibly have only eaten pizza with a knife and fork before.” You say with disbelief, and Becca raises an eyebrow in response to your shock.

“My mother would be furious if she saw me eating with my hands.” Becca explains.

“How is she, by the way? We didn’t get to meet her when we went to the Gala.” You ask Becca, shifting the conversation back to something more personal.

“You wouldn’t have. She wasn’t there.” Becca explains. “She and my father have basically been separated for years now.” Becca adds.

“Basically?” You ask to clarify.

“They don’t live together anymore, and only get together for public appearances when necessary. My father was actually irked when mother said she wouldn’t be attending the Gala as it was an affront to the public image he designed for us. An event where my father was the main sponsor, and she’s not there? He was livid.” Becca recalls. “But he couldn’t really retaliate. Hence, when he found out I invited you and the girls, he quickly had something else to sink his teeth into.” Becca admits.

“Not that I’m wishing this on your father, Becca; but if they’re basically separated, why didn’t they just get a divorce? You mentioned that he’s really protective of your family’s public image, but that can’t be the only reason. He knew your mother finding out about Cassie would most likely activate that cheating clause in their prenup, so why not divorce before it became an issue?” You ask.

“Aah. Of course. I forgot you weren’t familiar with my family.” Becca reacts with an amused smile.

“Sorry. I guess I should be, shouldn’t I?” You ask, a bit embarrassed.

“No. My expectations are more the result of living in a bubble all these years. It’s quite refreshing to meet people who aren’t familiar with my family’s reputation… or my reputation for that matter.” Becca assures you. “My mother’s maiden name is Victoria Rehnquist.” Becca reveals.

“Wait, Rehnquist? As in…” You react in recognition.

“As in this city’s Mayor Rehnquist? Yes. That’s my uncle. Before you ask, yes, my Grandfather was the former mayor. I have distant cousins from her side of the family that are currently in the Senate as well. If you also recall the presidential candidate years ago by that name, that was my great grandfather.” Becca clarifies. “My father isn’t much for politics, which is probably why he didn’t much care that my brother and I don’t find any interest in it. Despite that, he also knows the value of politics. Guess who talked my grandfather into doing that self-righteous campaign to close down the former red light district so he can acquire the Aphrodite for cheap?” Becca adds.

“So your father’s the money, and your mother’s the influence.” You summarize your understanding of her family situation. If her father divorced her mother, he may not lose most of his business; but he’d lose his means to make it grow quicker.

“Perfectly put. It’s such a clichè isn’t it?” Becca asks with a chuckle.

“I don’t know about clichè, but it does answer my question.” You reply. “So when you said you had the upper hand when you wanted to confront your father, you really weren’t kidding, huh?” You ask with a chuckle.

“Yes. He didn’t know I knew about that clause in their prenup.” Becca answers quickly with an awkward chuckle. “Looking back though, I’m glad you talked me out of it. I definitely would have been able to protect myself, but without the traits you’ve bought, he probably would have made yours and Cassie’s life miserable from the get-go; instead of focusing on me first, for having the gall to go against his wishes.” Becca adds.

“That being said, I don’t think my ‘nuclear deterrent’, as Cassie eloquently put it, is enough for the long run. My father’s going to lick his wounds and find a way to counter as he always does. He’d come after you and me in some way that bypasses the magic of his supportiveness of Cassie, I’m sure.” Becca continues, shifting to a much more serious tone than before, and making the mood suddenly dour.

“I bought the ‘No More Enemies’ trait for that exact reason, Becca; and I can buy you that trait too once I have enough points again. We’ll weather the storm until then. He can’t keep messing with our relationship forever.” You assure her, and it makes Becca smile slightly as she looks away from you.

“May I ask something?” Becca asks.

“Of course.” You answer.

“When you found out Cassie and I were sisters, did it ever cross your mind that it would just be easier to cut your losses and not date me to begin with?” Becca asks.

“Never.” You answer without hesitation.

“Why?” Becca asks again, putting you on the spot.

“Because you never considered doing the same.” You answer her just as quickly.

“How are you so sure I didn’t?” Becca continues to ask.

“Did you?” You return the question.

“No.” Becca answers just as quickly.

“Then does it matter what made me so sure?” You ask with some finality, hoping that it’s the end of the topic, but Becca doesn’t let it end just yet.

“It does to me.” Becca answers.

“Why?” You ask, your turn to ask her reasoning now.

“Because if today is any indication, I made a mistake by overestimating my value. I made the mistake of not doubting how essential I was to the company. I made the mistake of confusing being confident with being full of myself.” Becca elaborates.

“Maybe you should doubt your decision to date me, because maybe you mistake me for what I thought I was. Maybe you mistake me for something worth pursuing… when I’m clearly not that. I’m completely dispensable. Maybe if you actually think about it, maybe you’ll come to the conclusion that I’m actually not worth the trouble.” Becca answers you, completely devoid of the cold and authoritative demeanor you were first exposed to when you first met her. Even more worrying, this is probably the first time you’ve heard her say the word ‘maybe’ multiple times, making her sound so unsure of herself. Worst of all, the warmth that you started to recognize as you started getting to know her some more is gone too.

Becca looks completely dejected at herself right now.

You were all wrong to think Becca won her exchange with her father tonight. She already lost the moment she found out that one defiant move would result in her termination from her father’s company, as if her value to the company is just the blood running through her veins.

You stand up from your seat and walk towards Becca, making her look up to make eye contact with you. You squat so the two of you are level, and can talk more intimately.

“You know,” you preface, before grabbing another pizza slice from the box. “This is what happens when you eat pizza with a knife and fork your whole life.” You jokingly respond. Becca’s more confused than amused with your response this time around. “Here.” you tell her, as you try to hand the pizza slice you grabbed to her.

“What are you doing?” Becca asks.

“I’m asking you to do something different. Different from what you’ve always known. See if it’s any better.” You answer her, a lot more seriously this time.

Becca grabs the pizza slice with one hand, and uses the tips of her fingers of her other hand to lift the tip of the pizza and prevent it from flopping down, and uses her fingertips to direct the pizza into her mouth.

“Okay. Now. Do it like how I did it earlier.” You instruct her. You grab another slice of pizza for yourself, and demonstrate how exactly you want her to do it. You fold the crust part with your hands, then dangle the pizza tip over your mouth, use your tongue to direct the pizza inside your mouth before taking a sizable bite.

Becca copies how you took a bite of your pizza, and you can’t help but chuckle while continuing to chew.

“Which was better for you?” You ask her while chewing.

“It tasted the same to me.” Becca replies, only after she swallowed her bite.

“Well, yeah; but did you enjoy those bites of pizza more than all the other bites you’ve ever taken from a knife and fork?” You clarify your question.

“I-I’m not sure. Maybe?” Becca answers. “Where are you going with this?” She finally asks, still confused with this sudden exercise.

“Okay. I actually only have a vague clue of where I’m going with this, but hear me out.” You answer in honest panic, as you actually haven’t fully formalized how to say what you want to say.

“The first time I met you, I thought you were intimidating and authoritative… and someone who probably eats pizza with a knife and fork. That was a joke. Couldn’t help it. Sorry. Anyway, I did think of you as those things, but I also thought you were sophisticated and confident.” You start to say, before Becca jumps in.

“You mean pretentious and full of myself.” Becca corrects you.

“You see, that’s the thing. When did you start thinking that of yourself? Have you always thought of yourself as that, or was it just after tonight? After you confronted your father?” You ask her rhetorically, not expecting an answer.

“You know why I thought you were intimidating the first time we met? It’s because you looked like someone who knew what they wanted, knew how to get it, and was confident nothing could stop her from getting it. Meanwhile, I had magic at my fingertips and the one thing I wanted out of it led me to make my daughter fall in love with me instead. It’s so intimidating to see someone so together when you’re struggling to keep yourself from falling apart.” You admit to her. “In any case, did you have all that confidence because you thought you had your father’s trust? Or was it because you were confident in who you are?” You continue to ask rhetorically.

“If your confidence came from him, then I understand why you suddenly feel inadequate. But, if that’s the case, then I’m here to tell you that your value is not dictated by someone else. I’ve fallen into that trap too. That sudden feeling of inadequacy because everything you believed in was a lie, and you start to doubt everything… yourself, first and foremost.” You add.

“I know how that feels. Viv knows how that feels. Brooke knows how that feels. Heck, sometimes, those feelings still creep up on all of us. We all still doubt ourselves every once in a while, but it’s good to know that the people around us believe in us, because it reminds us to start believing in ourselves too. We can be that for you, Becca. We’ll support you and remind you that you’re more than just what your father thinks of you; but believing in yourself, and finding your own self worth… that’s only something you can do. Nobody else can dictate how you value yourself.” You elaborate some more.

“At the end of the day, the world can only try to tell you how you eat your pizza, and judge you if you don’t do it the same as them; but it’s still ultimately your choice. Maybe you’ve been doing it all this time based on what other people told you, but you gotta eat your pizza your own way.” You finally say.

…

You can’t decipher Becca’s look after you finish your monologue. It seems your asinine metaphor just confused her even more, as she looks dumbfounded by your advice.

“I really shoehorned the pizza metaphor since I was improvising; but my actual point was that you’re Rebecca goddamn Hoffman. Don’t ever forget who—” Becca interrupts you with a kiss, grabbing you by cheeks, and inhaling deeply as your lips meet with hers. The two of you stay like this for more than a moment, relishing your first kiss together.

“How are you both utterly dreadful and brilliant at giving advice?” Becca jokingly asks, making you chuckle.

“I won’t deny the ‘dreadful’ part since I really don’t have much experience with giving pep talks; but, in my defense, I have had a lot of practice doing these in the past few days. I’m pretty sure that’s not enough to be ‘brilliant’ at it though.” You answer jokingly, but the underlying truth to your statement makes you chuckle.

“Thank you, Jay.” Becca finally says, as she interlocks her fingers on the back of your neck, and pulls you in closer so your foreheads touch. “Thank you for reminding me who I am.” Becca adds, before giving you a quick peck on the lips to show her gratitude.

“It’s no big deal. We all need those reminders every once in a while.” You assure her.

…

“Since you asked me to stay earlier, can I ask you to do the same?” Becca then asks.

“I’m not going anywhere, Becca.” You assure her.

“No. I mean…” She hesitates for a bit.

“Can you stay with me for the night?”