Pizza, beer, and an application

After your harrowing encounter with the cop, your are glad to be home in your modest two bedroom apartment. Even though it's only you living here at the moment, you appreciate the extra space and office room.

You toss your keys into the bowl that you keep near the door and lock the deadbolt. Ahh, it's good to be home. Only one thing is on your mind now, so you walk through the living room, past the half wall that divides it with the kitchen, swing around it, and head to the fridge. You open your fridge and crack open an ice cold beer.

You take a swig. "Ahhh." A wave of relief washes over you as you think to yourself that there was at least one good thing that came out of your divorce. No more wife that complained or noticed every single damned time you even had a sip of ****.

Taking another drink, you grab your laptop and flop on the couch and turn on the TV. You decide to watch some football while drinking your beer and - to hell with it - you call up your local pizza place and order a pie for delivery because why the hell not.

Thirty minutes later your pizza arrives and you hand the delivery girl a tenner. She thanks you and you bring your pie into the kitchen. You put some slices on a plate and grab another beer, heading back you the couch as you eat, drink, and watch the game. Truly the life of a bachelor.

Halftime comes quickly. You're not a fan of watching balding dudes talk for half an hour so you tune them out. As your eyes drift from the TV, they notice your laptop still waiting for you, right there. Deciding you've eaten enough pizza, you grab your plate and wash up before heading back to the couch.

You plop unceremoniously back to the couch and crack open your laptop. Sure enough, the AWIO sponsorship page is right there, waiting for you. With a glass of wine and two beers in you, you decide to heck with it and begin filling out the form to apply to become a sponsor.

Name: Jack Smith

Age: 40

Occupation: Government employee

Place of employment: Department of Redundancy Department

Salary: not enough (see comments below)

Address: Hongjie Garden Apartment B-103

.... And so it went. The final question was a large space for you to fill in any notes, so you said you could explain your salary in person due to your personal situation.

Feeling good about your application, you take a moment to consider if there's anything else you want to add before sending, which you're definitely doing. You sit your laptop down on the coffee table and stand up to clear both your head and the mess you've made .

After a few minutes, you return to the laptop. "There has to be someone like this. Nearly every matchmaker has them. The ones who've been there the longest. I want to help one." You say to yourself And with that, you add one line to your application that sets in the wheels of fate. "I'd like to sponsor a monster girl who hasn't been able to find a match for a long time."

With that, you press send.