Pissy and Pity

"Oh god!" said the drunk woman.

"What now?" asked the bartender.

"I jush..." she had to wipe drool from her mouth. "I jush...." but she kept drooling.

"She just pissed herself!" said Megan.

"That's it! Get out!" said the bartender.

The woman staggered towards the door.

The witches and comedian laughed at her.

"Dons laugh ash..." but she had to stop and wipe drool. She had a big wet spot in her jeans. She went outside.

"And when she gets outside, she'll start flashing her tits," said Etta. "Any time she gets drunk, she'll drool, wet herself, and have an uncontrollable urge to flash her tits in public. But she'll never drive."

"Hopefully the cops will pick up her up and throw her in the drunk tank," said Megan.

Lilith walked over to the comedian. "Rough night?"

The comedian got her drink and slammed it. "You're telling me, and I can't get this wig or nose off! I'm going home."

"Hold on," said Lilith. She pulled the nose off, and the tip of the comedian's nose was bright red as if it had been painted with nail polish. "The red will wear off in a week, and you look good in the wig, so just wear it for a few days before you cut it off."

"Thanks." The comedian left.

Lilith went back. "Had a bit of pity for her."

The girls sipped their drinks. "You know," said Lilith, "is there a spell that would make us be able to tell a bitch without having her do anything bitchy."

"What do you mean?" asked Etta.

"So let's say five women walk in here. We can tell their personalities right off the bat even if they are pretending to be something or someone they are not."

"Hmmm." The girls thought.