Perfectly

"You saying shit about my - !?" Chuck leans on one of his bitches to get up, all but pushing her to the ground under his weight, but never makes it. Planting his one foot firmly in floor macaroni, the shithead slips, a nail on the chair catching his disgusting underwear. Before anyone can fully comprehend what's happened, Chuck's being wedgied by gravity and the furniture.

He yells out in pain, no doubt getting his nuts pinched, and his nearest hoes spring into action. "Oh no, baby!" "We'll make it all better!" "Poor Daddy!" They accomplish all of nothing when Chuck's briefs rip and he crashes to the floor, his ass exposed and coated in cheesy pasta.

Lloyd laughs once, hearty and warm.

Chuck's eyes nearly boil out of his skull.

"Hey now," Lloyd's father interjects, "you alright there, Chuckster?"

Chuck scrambles to his feet, knocking over Lloyd's old teacher and his middle school girlfriend, and makes a charge for Lloyd. Chuck stomps his feet and one of the floorboards suddenly comes loose, flying up like a catapult and smacking Chuck flat in the face and knocking him back on his ass.

The asshole grunts through a bloody nose and tears on the floor. Everyone in the house looks from him to Lloyd, silent.

Lloyd slowly and calmly steps over his old tormentor to the back corner. He snacthes up the "Bich tabel" and tosses it on Chuck's lap. Lloyd lowers himself on Chuck's previous seat.

His father coughs. "Uh, hey now, Lenny." Of course, he still got it wrong. "You know that Bich tabel isn't really his. How's about -"

"Shut the fuck up."

He obeys.

God, life was going to be fucking paradise!

Lloyd turned his attention to his mother. Well, her tits. "Cook me a steak." She nodded, excited and visible aroused, then ran back to the kitchen. He watched her perfect ass the whole time. Shit, was Lloyd going to fuck his own mother? Why not? He had Luck on his side!

Another glance around the room reminded him of Chuck's harem, who've since gotten up and began to surround him at the table.

Chuck was smiling through bloodly teeth.