Patrick decides to try Shauna's plan

If there was a way Patrick could have skipped the whole trip without losing any face, he could have saved a lot of trouble on the back end. The boy mentally chastised himself for not thinking up some way to make that happen. Instead, he'd procrastinated, letting peer pressure build until eventually, his participation in this awkward trip had become inevitable. Now that he was at the beach with everyone else, all he wanted to do was find a way to "minimize the damage" by acting as normal as possible with his friends, ignoring how they were all drooling at his beach body out of its usual form-concealing clothing.

With that in mind, Jessie's way would make the most sense, right? Shauna may be trying to do the right thing, by keeping him safe from being hit on by the others, but she had to realize that doing so would make the two of them stick out. Whether they were convincing or not in their acting, people were going to end up stuck with the impression that he was Shauna's girlfriend.

And yet... Shauna really was his best friend; she was a goofball, a lewd trickster, and an absolute meat-head of a girl, but if anyone had his best interests at heart, it was probably her. He tried to put on a smile that looked confident instead of sheepish, while reaching out his fist to bump knuckles with his favorite gal. "Right on, Shauna. Let's do it, you and me." He was pleased to find that his motion was accepted in a smooth, if slightly over-eager, hit, fist against fist.

The black girl grinned from ear to ear, placing her hands on her hips. "That's what I'm talkin' about! Patty and Shauna, livin' it up on Spring Break! Look, I know you may think my plan's the uncool way, but trust me, I'm gonna make this the best vacation of your ginger life!" she encouraged him. "I'm talkin' beers for breakfast!"

Patty opened his mouth to say he wasn't ready for a beer this early in the morning, but was interrupted by the rumbling of his own stomach, causing the other girls to laugh. Laughter was good... if Jessie was still laughing, she wasn't too pissed about being left out of the fun. "Okay, I gotta admit, the breakfast part of that sounds pretty good. Are we not checking into a hotel first, though? Looks like we ended up right on the beach..." he questioned, knowing that even if a shower wasn't in his future to start the day, he had to eat. Screw whatever anyone said about eating before hitting the water.

"Ha ha, don't you worry about that! There's all kinds'a little places to stop by and grab a bite before we throw down our towels. See, the only place that gets more business than a little coconut shack on the beach-- which we are gonna hit up later for shots-- is a pancake house on the beach. There's hella pancake places all over this! You're down for pancakes, sausage, eggs, and bacon, right?" Shauna questioned.

Patrick nodded, although, personally, he thought that was a pretty hefty breakfast for a day that'd be this physical. He usually ate a lot lighter... not to maintain a boyish figure, but just because it was his preferred portion size. Shauna, on the other hand, could put down food like she was a horse; he'd probably see her do just that.

"Ha, those places are for old, married couples," Jessie laughed, while rolling her eyes and jutting out one hip. "Those or tourists."

"We are tourists," Patrick pointed out, while reaching to push up his glasses, only to find they weren't there.

"Point taken, but either way, we're gonna find something cool to eat for breakfast on the beach. Enjoy your fucking pancakes, nerds," Jessie finished, slapping Patrick hard on the back before heading back to the front of the bus. "Just make sure you go ahead and get off the bus before the crowd does; otherwise, you'll probably get talked into coming with us. And meet back up later, okay? If I don't see you two for the rest of the day, I really am gonna know you two are fucking."

Shauna laughed that concern off easily. Patrick failed to laugh at first, still thinking about the possibility that he was about to irrevocably screw up his "one-of-the-girls" status, then shook his head and joined in with the tempo of his friend. After all, this wasn't some kind of date spot... It was like Jessie said: fucking pancakes! Nobody ever got laid over pancakes, right?

The two took Jessie's advice and got off the bus quickly; they figured they'd be alone, with nobody else tailing after them. It looked as though they might really be so lucky. This put Shauna in an even better mood. "Hey, have you ever noticed how everybody we hang out with is a huge vag?" she questioned, jabbing her elbow against Patrick's side to get his attention.

He rubbed his bare waist gingerly, then nodded. "Yeah, from time to time. You included, Shauna."

"Ha ha ha! I guess so, huh?" she agreed, crossing both hands behind her black afro. "Actually, I'm glad you pointed that out. I just wanted to take the chance to remind you, we're all cool with you, you know, Patty? So like... don't ever feel uncomfortable, or like you ain't one of us. Jessie's thing was just her playing around, okay? Like... If you wanna change into something a little less mouthwatering, we can always go to some surf shop and buy you a t-shirt and some pants-"

"Nah, really... I'm good like this. A lot of folks will be wearing swimsuits in there already. It's not weird," Patrick reassured her.

"Yeah? Well, good on ya. I'm gonna just... engrave this into my eyeballs then," Shauna retorted, grinning and making a show of shamelessly checking out the tight fit of Patrick's speedo from behind.

Patrick turned around and raised his hands hopelessly in a gesture of "what the fuck, Shauna?" He felt himself getting whiplash from her Jekyll and Hyde performance, swapping back and forth between caring lifetime friend and drooling pervert. As soon as he turned around, he jumped, feeling a hand slap him upon the ass. This time, he really did shout: "what the fuck, Shauna?!"

"What, what?! We're cool! I'm just being funny," she insisted, raising both hands defensively. "Okay! Message received. Spanking equals not funny. I'm engraving that into the brain right next to that picture of your butt in a speedo. Contradicting messages, placed right there, side by side." This time, her smile actually did look a bit nervous. Patrick thought that was a strange reaction...

... Upon consideration, he began to understand it a bit better. He'd actually put her in an odd situation. Basically, she was being told to act natural, but to act the way she normally would meant leching on him like she always did. In this situation, that was much less comfortable than usual. That meant she had to act natural... but not too natural. It was almost like he was expecting her to act like an actual girlfriend... He shook that thought out of his head as quickly as he could. Nothing was more dangerous to his mission of maintaining the status quo than putting Shauna in a weird position like that! "Nah, sorry I snapped. I know you're just trying to be 'Girlfriend Shauna.' I just forgot Girlfriend Shauna was such a vag," he joked.

With the casual mood restored, the two finally reached the pancake house in high spirits. The place just barely met the bar of cool enough to enter on Spring Break; it had a few outdoor tables, with an old wooden structure that looked so damp with sea air that it could have been underwater a few times. The decor was actually a bit like the surf shacks they'd eschewed to come to a pancake place instead. Patrick knew that this sort of place was a tourist trap and felt a little silly walking right into it, but when you're on a stupid vacation, you spend money stupidly. Such is youth.

The odd pair of a dark, muscular beauty and a sexy-dressed, lanky boy walked in and took a seat, noting that the clientele looked like only old townies and young vacationing couples like themselves. "Damn! Not a couple," Patrick chastised himself mentally. He was only a pretend couple... He found himself staring around the place indiscreetly, hoping they didn't stick out too much.

... They stuck out quite a lot. Even among young couples, you'd be hard pressed to find a goofy black girl eating pancakes with a self-conscious red-head. Patrick shrunk into his seat further as he looked around, feeling the warm, leather seat cushion awkwardly against his partially exposed buttocks.

"You checked the menu yet? I'm thinking I might get the endless pancakes. Yo, should I treat you? You're my date, after all!"

Hearing that snapped Patrick back into the situation; he frowned and scratched at his woolly hair. "Who're you pretending for? There's nobody around to fool. Besides, I can pay-" Patrick began, then clicked his tongue. He patted at his zip-up top for a moment, then his speedo, before stopping that futile search. Of course he didn't have his wallet... that and everything else were back on the bus somewhere. "Shit. I'm walletless."

"See? Might as well roll with it!" Shauna guffawed, slapping one hand down on the table and drawing more attention than her friend would have liked. In the next moment, she drew even more, growing wide-eyed and slack-jawed for a moment. "Yooooo, Patty! You aren't gonna believe what I just saw!"

Patrick was starting to get tired of saying "what the fuck, Shauna," but he said it anyway: "What the fuck, Shauna?"