Pam gently pushes you off, saying that it's too soon - like cheating on Steve.

You completely lost all confidence in what you were doing, feeling awkward and uncertain. Your desire didn't diminish but you weren't sure how to continue. Your kisses became more frantic and clumsy - and when you roughly grabbed Pam's breast through her nightgown, she pushed you away.

"What's wrong?!" you asked in frustration, your young body almost overloaded with desire.

She gave you a questioning look. "What wrong with you?", she asked. "For a few moments I could close my eyes and pretend nothing had changed, that you were still Steve - but then you changed. It was like I was really with a 15 year old, and that's just too weird!"

You hung your head dejectedly, your new shyness coupled with a weird sense of shame. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just suddenly felt different - like all this way new. I ... I can't explain it," you muttered in a low voice.

Pam sighed. She stroked your cheek and gently lift your chin so that you met her gaze. "Steve...I mean, Jonas," she corrected herself, and then added in a soft tone, "we both have a lot of changes to deal with. We need some time to adjust, to figure out our new relationship."

"What does that mean?" you asked in confusion. "Our 'new relationship'? Aren't we husband and wife?"

She shook her head. "I'm not sure what we are now. I love you - I truly do. And I want - I hope that somehow our marriage can survive this. But we are certainly not 'husband and wife' anymore. To the rest of the world we will be mother and son - that alone will change things." She bit her lip, giving you a worried look. "And your body - it will take time for me to get past the change. And I think that it will affect you too - the way you see things."

"But we can't give up!" you pleaded. "I love you!" But even as you spoke the words, you felt the awkwardness return. You meant what you said, but there was a sense of discomfort, almost as if you were a kid being inappropriate with an older woman.

"No, we won't give up," she continued. "But let's just take this slowly. Even though my mind knows the truth, a part of me still feels like my husband just died and I'm trying to cheat on his memory with a teenage boy. And it's not just the physical part. I can't easily treat you as my son throughout the day and then just mentally switch you back to my husband when we're alone. I need to work through my grief first, and then deal with all this. And I think you must also accept who you are now - Jonas Wright."

"But..." you started when she interrupted.

"No, listen. Too much has happened to quickly. Neither of us has had time to adjust. I think to some degree we've both been trying to deny the truth, despite the pretense we have to maintain to everyone else. Let's give this new life a few weeks before we push ourselves too far. Once we've settled in, maybe then we can adapt. Okay?"

"Okay," you said dejectedly. Part of you recognized the logic in her argument, though you really wanted to reclaim your relationship - that was the key part of your identity of Steve that you had been clinging to. But the confusion of your emotions - your very strong desire for her mixed with a new sense of her as the authority figure in your life - made you acquiesce rather easily.

The two of you sat silently for a few minutes just holding hands. Then Pam got up. "Go on," she said, ushering you toward the door. "You need to go to bed. I'd rather not have to make some excuse to my family about why you're in my room. Now goodnight!" she said, kissing you on the cheek.

You slipped back to your new bedroom. Despite the uncomfortable conversation, your body was still aroused - almost painfully in that way that only a teenage boy can be. You started to masturbate but quickly gave up, seemingly unable to get relief. You tried to pass it off as the weirdness of being in this new body, but part of the problem may have been the confusion you felt when picturing Pam in your mind. Though she was undeniably attractive, something was off when you stroked yourself to her mental image. Your unrelieved erection kept you awake for some time, but you eventually fell into a sleep full of strange dreams.

1. Your persistent attempts to become physical **** Pam to lay down strict rules. *

2. The ease with which you step into Jonas' life causes more problems at home. *