Own the story!

You lean in, and Emma begins to explain.

‘It’s Taylor Swift who gave me the idea, of all people. Whenever she spots paparazzi – like, when she was out on a boat this summer, one of her bodyguards saw a guy with a long lens, right? And all her friends and her were out on the deck, sunning themselves in bikinis. So what did Taylor do?’

You look blankly back at her. Beside you, Emma Watson looks equally confused.

‘She spiked his shot.’ Emma Stone scrolls rapidly through her phone. ‘Hang on, I can probably find it. She knew how much a bikini shot was worth, so she posed for one herself. Posted a picture up to her own Instagram. Free, instantly accessible, nicely framed and not shot by some pervert with a telescope from fifty miles away. She spiked his exclusive, man!’

Emma brandishes the picture she’s found, looking triumphant. ‘Bang, instantly – his pictures are worth nothing. And everyone’s looking at the one she wants them to see instead.’

You think you’re beginning to see where Emma Stone is going with this.

And you really don’t think Emma Watson is going to like it.

‘So…’ Emma Stone reaches across the table, and, unexpectedly, takes both your hand and Emma’s. ‘I know it’s rough. I know it’s the furthest fucking thing from ideal, and it’s not the way you planned to do this, if ever. But… if the world is going to see you like that anyway, why not **** them to do it on your terms?’

And Emma gets it.

All at once. She sits up, looking half-shocked, half-scared – and you squeeze her other hand tightly in your own.

‘I mean, it’s completely up to you, obviously.’ Emma Stone is still talking. ‘But if you want to torpedo their profits, and fucking own this story – if you want to make a point about empowerment, if you want to own your body no matter who tries to exploit it – and if you want to do the one thing that cunt who leaked them won’t expect, well…’

Emma Watson squeezes your hand back, hard, and looks over at you.

‘I don’t know…’ she says, doubtfully. ‘I really don’t. I mean, it’s all very well claiming I’m being empowered by showing off my body… but if I’m obviously doing it in response, well…’

Her voice trails off. ‘And, I mean… it’s stupid, but… if I was ever going to do something like that, it would have be tasteful. Artistic. Nicely-shot, and semi-nude. Not all the way.’ Emma bites her lip, looking upset. ‘I’m not sure that would be as… I mean, I don’t know if people would be as attracted to those kinds of pictures. Especially if they were up against some more… explicit… leaks.’

Emma Stone is nodding, looking pleased. ‘I thought you might say that. Don’t worry. I have a plan.’

You shoot her a skeptical look. ‘Oh, yeah? What’s that?’

Emma Stone licks her lips – and if you didn’t know better, you’d say she looked almost excited. ‘Well… what if it’s not just you in the photos?’