Out for a walk.

A full day later and still no word from Fernanda. I was starting to get anxious, but I kept telling myself that I dropped some heavy stuff on her so if she didn’t want to talk to me, now or ever… Ugh, I couldn’t even pretend not to care anymore. I don’t want her to avoid me. Even if things don’t work out between us, I don’t want to lose a friend.

I ended up taking Cake out for a walk, more for my sake than for hers, but she got excited the moment I showed up with the harness. My girl is actually fairly active, you know? We went out at 9:00 am and when I checked again it was 10:20 am. We walked for over an hour without realizing it.

Lots of people look at us when we go out for walks, acting either excited or totally confused. I suppose taking cats out for walks isn’t all that common. A few people, mostly kids with their parents, asked if they could pet Cake. The cat, diva that she is, basked in the attention.

We stopped at a small park, a playground for kids more than anything else, and sat down on a bench. The place was empty this early in the morning, and that suited me just fine. I took out a water bottle from my bag and poured some on Cake’s bowl. She drank a lot. It was a hot day.

Sitting there, in silence and under the shade of a tree was pretty nice. I was alone with my thoughts again while Cake rested next to me. I very consciously tried to steer those thoughts towards trivial things, like what I’d make for lunch that day. But that was only until my phone rang with a message notification and I had to check it like it would be deleted if I didn’t see it immediately.

…

Actually not wrong on that, shockingly.

-Fernanda: Hey, question. Why do you like me?

The message was deleted not ten seconds after being sent, but I had read it already. I could practically feel the shame through the phone, the regret of sending an embarrassing message you’d been debating for an hour whether to send or not until you hit SEND. It had nothing to do with magic and everything to do with having been there before. God, I still remember my first text conversations with Mila and Grace. I thought I was gonna throw up from nerves. I don’t miss those days, but I’m sure being reminded of them a lot lately.

Maybe I should’ve ignored that message, but that she sent it in the first place meant it was probably bothering her, so… I decided to answer anyway.

-Oliver: The best I can say is that I have a hunch. It’s true that we don’t know each other enough to say much more than that, but I think you’re very cute. Also, I’d feel bad not admitting that I think you’re very attractive as well.

I waited a couple of minutes with my heart in my throat, waiting for her to answer back.

-Fernanda: You weren’t supposed to see that…

-Oliver: Sorry, but I wanted to answer in case it was bothering you. Unless it wasn’t a text meant for me, in which case…

-Fernanda: No, no! It was. Just… I’m sorry I’ve been quiet for so long.

-Oliver: It hasn’t been THAT long. Just feels like it, haha. Take your time. I know this isn’t easy. That said…

No, saying it by text felt wrong. My chest hurt and my ears burned. My mouth was dry, too, despite having drank some water just minutes ago. But even so…

-Oliver: Can I call you?

It took her about 30 seconds to answer.

-Fernanda: Yes.

I called.

“Hello?” She said softly, picking up after the fourth beep.

“Hey. I’m sorry. I just said to take your time and here I am calling you.”

“No, it’s okay. You… have something to tell me?”

“Kind of Something to clarify, more like. When we talked the other night… I think I made it sound like I didn’t care either way what you decided. It’s been bothering me. Of course I’d… prefer… Ugh, no. I want you to go out with me Fernanda. I do. I just feel guilty trying to convince you to accept all my terms. I wanted to make that clear.

Man, six girlfriends and this doesn’t get any easier. I still feel close to passing out when I say stuff like this.

“...I see.” I believe I could Sense some relief in her voice, but it was difficult to tell over the phone.

“Yeah, so… That’s all I wanted to say. I…”

“W-Wait! Um… Is there a difference between being cute and being attractive?”

Hm? What… Oh! I implied those were different things in my text, didn’t I?

“To me they kind of are,” I told her.

“H-How so?”

“Well… They way you laugh, the way you get excited about things, or just how expressive you are in general. It’s cute. I… like it.”

“...”

“...”

“Are you free this afternoon?” Fernanda asked me.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Can we meet? Anywhere is fine.”

“How about the park close to the coffee shop?”

“Yes, that sounds good. S-See you there?”

“Of course.”

“...”

“...”

“So…Bye?”

“Yeah, bye!” She hung up.

Yep, talking on the phone is weird. Important things really should be talked face to face, but texting is worse. I just had to call her and get that out of my chest. I hope I didn’t come out as pushy.

“Alright, Cake. Time to go back,” I told my cat, who, unsurprisingly, had enough of walking under this heat and refused to stand up with me.

I sighed, opened her carrying bag and she happily walked inside. It almost felt like spoiling her, but we did walk for over an hour. I’d cut her some slack this time.

After getting home, Cake walked out of her bag and jumped on the window to… sunbathe. I don’t fucking get cats, I swear. I also made lunch for Isabelle and me.

As we were eating, she asked me if I was going out and I admitted I’d be meeting Fernanda later.

“You insist on stealing all my friends, don’t you?”

“Um… You have good taste in friends?” I offered.

Isabelle sighed. “It’s frustrating that I can’t even get mad because it was obvious she’s had a crush on you from the start.”

“Hey, there's a chance she might reject me,” I told her.

“She’s shy and anxious like you, but she’s not stupid, unlike you.”

“...”

Did… Did she just insult me and praise me at the same time? Not bad, sis.

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