Orc's Harem, by noodles22

“Uggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Gina, please.”

“Just look at that fucking title and that fucking picture and these fucking tags!”

“Alright, alright, but it might not be so bad. It’s a story from noodles after all.”

“...who?”

“You know, the guy who did the monster girl harem story.”

“That’s like every second story we review, Marcie.”

“Yes, but you actually masturbated to that one.”

“THEN WHY THE FUCK DOESN’T HE REQUEST A FOLLOW UP INSTEAD OF SOME NEW SHIT?”

“Eh, you know these eccentric authors, always starting new stories without finishing the last.”

“Useless shits.”

“So, we are reading Orc’s harem by noodles22”

“yay.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“These are the glorious days of a brutish green warrior going on adventurers with his girl.”

“Why are you phrasing it like that, Marcie? I already don’t like where this is going.”

“I have no idea what you mean, Gahahaha!”

“That laugh gets really old, really fast. Also, the dude does spoken dialog in cursive. Hm! How quirky!”

“Yes, a rather strange choice. But that was present in Monster Harem as well. And I don’t think we complained about it there.”

“Yes, well, we all grown more sophisticated. It’s annoying as fuck!”

“Ehem, why don’t you start with the plot, Gina?”

“...It’s about an Orc creatively named Orok and his elf named Nova. For some bizarre reason, the dumbass gets appointed as ambassador and travels to a human kingdom to do ambassadory things.”

“Not bad as settings go, honestly. The protagonist is straight up Rance but Orc, but noodles did at least attempt at a unique plot.”

“Unfortunately Orok is dumb as shit, luckily for him that kingdom is governed by equally dumb people, so he fits right in.”

“True.”

“Such as, the captain of the guards, who is a brat. Or the court sorceress who is also brat and finally the biggest brat of them all, the princess!”

“Noodles does seem to like a certain archetype. You skipped over Olivia though.

“Too old. It’s like noodles can only write girls that are fourteen or forty.”

“Well...uh...yeah, pretty much. There are male characters in there though like King Edward.”

“So last story had Kara and this time it’s King Edward. Are we sure this guy isn’t ripping off Alexandra?”

“I don’t think so Gina, he is way too busy ripping off Rance characters. We already had Rance, Sanakia, Shizuka and Lia. At least Nova doesn’t act completely like Sill.”

The king ignores the pair, eyes moving towards the advisor. "Olivia, where is my daughter?"

"I believe the princess is in her room, my lord." Olivia says. "I'll guide our guests to their suite and then go ask her to come see you, alright?"

“Oh, fuck no.”

“Hm, yes, you don’t use “my lord” with a king. That’s a title for nobility. It would be your grace or your majesty.”

“Yeah, right, that was definitely what I was going for.”

“But as it turns out, no, there are no incestuous undertones Well, the princess certainly has some... pfft... daddy issues, but I don’t think they are of that nature. In general it is actually surprisingly lighthearted. Sure, Orok is a brute but he goes around things a lot more consensual then Rance.”

“I mean, he still has a magic spell of obedience on his .”

“I beg to differ, for that choker is obviously not working.”

“Huh, I suppose that twist would make for a bit more nuance.”

“There is the same thing in Rance where the spell has run out a long time ago.”

“Oh for fucks sake, Marcie. Can you stop talking about Rance for one god damn second?”

“Yes, yes, where were we? Ah yes, a banquet is held and Orok gets acquainted to Princess Francesca.”

"Boooooring..." Princess Francesca sighs, childishly puffing her cheeks. "Sooooo booooooooooooringgggggg..."

"Bo-o-o-o-oring..." She continues, idly stabbing the plate of salad in front of her with her fork.

“That’s a ten year old as far as I’m concerned.”

“She also develops a huge crush on Orok. But Orok, just like Rance isn’t into little girls.”

“But we still get sorta sex scenes with her.”

"Nuuuh, I-I came, daddy!" Her voice quivers as she struggles to breathe, caressing Orok's leg and lovingly kissing his thigh a couple of times. "Y-you made me cum..."

“Well, she is 18, so that is not a problem.”

“It’s creepy as fuck. I mean she’s into the whole humiliation shit, so you have this submissive masochist who also acts like a little girl. There’s also the subplot that Orok would totally fuck her if he knew she was 18.”

“Interrupting this, I want to point something out.”

“Ok, yeah sure.”

on top of a tiny noise covered in freckles

“We are on chapter nine now and this is the first typo I found. That’s actually a pretty impressive ratio, so good for you author.”

“Doesn’t stop the creep factor though.”

“Anyways, please continue, Gina."

“Up until now Orok actually had surprisingly little sex outside of constantly fucking his elf and accidentally getting a little girl to cum. That’s about to change though. A bunch of Succubi are making trouble and who better to solve that problem then the sex crazed Ambassador?”

“It is certainly a bit of an odd direction to take the story, but noodles likes his succubus.”

At a height of no more than four feet five, like the rest of her friends, the succubus also sports the same voluptuous body type, with gigantically lewd milkers, a small waist, and wide thighs and hips. Her skin still flushed and sweaty from the steamy reverse gangbang, orcish cum rushing through her legs. She has ponty ears, plump lips curved in a smile, and shoulder-long, light-pink wavy hair that completely covers her eyes and makes it a puzzle to know how is she even able to look at her surroundings.

She wears a greyish corset-like top and a tiny string thong of the same color, showing off a vulgar amount of cleavage and the lower part of her plushy tummy. Her meaty legs covered with thigh-high socks and her arms with long fingerless gloves. She has black horns on top of her head, bat-like wings coming out of her back that doesn't serve any kind of purpose besides looking cool, and a heart-shaped tail that energetically swats from left to right.

"None of the other characters get THAT much of a description. This fucker has a giant succubus fetish.”

“After taming the group of Succubi, Oro takes one of them, Pink, back to the castle.”

“Meanwhile Nova is having some adventurers of her own, related to the exciting task of getting more ink for her pen.”

“There is a bit of subplot here with a knight seducing Nova. Clearly reminiscent of Bird and Sill. Hmm...I wonder if the author has played Rance X? It is yet untranslated, which might be somewhat of a hurdle unless you happen to be a true enthusiast such as myself.”

“Marcieeeee…”

“Yes, yes.”

“So anyways, Orok gets back to the castle and…”

forcing his tongue inside her mouth in a passionate french kiss.

“Did that FOOL learn nothing from our last review?”

“You didn’t complain when they suddenly started talking about Mangas and other nerd shit.”

“Well, Rance is a fan of shoujo manga.”

“WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!”

“Alright, alright, we have caught up to the current chapter anyway. Which happens to be a retelling of Nova’s rather brutal backstory.”

His goons keep loudly laughing as he violently brings down the blade on his arm, separating it from his body, then going limb for limb, leaving behind an utterly grotesque scene. Nova isn't able to contain a horrified sob, tears dripping down.

“That’s a fucking huge shift from what was up until now a pretty harmless happy go lucky story, like what the fuck?”

“Well, to be fair, in the Rance series that sort of thing...”

“Marcie, if you mention that fuck one god damn time I end the fucking review!”

“And with that we are done. So, Gina what do you think?”

“Eh, it was ok.”

“Really? Despite all your complaints?”

“You were the most annoying part in this review, Marcie.”

“I have to say though that this one is quite the sharp improvement compared to noodles last story. The writing and character dynamic is fun. The main character is likable. The premise is surprisingly unique and there is just enough intrigue to keep the plot moving.”

"I like the pictures. They where pretty good, except that fucking disgusting cover image."

"Coming from you, that is quite high praise."

"Ugh, I kinda want to see where this goes. Olivia is clearly up to no good. She’s the villain, I tell you!”

“If I had to utter a criticism, there is a bit of an overabundance of high strung neurotic girls in this. Olivia is really the only girl so far who’s capable of keeping her cool and not freaking out every second line.”

“As a mature 21 year old, I just can’t relate to these childish brats anymore.”

“But we see how the story develops. Pink at the very least is still ditzy but not the insecure wreck everyone else is.”

“These type of bubbly girls are the worst.”

“As for the sex scenes, I quite liked them. They didn’t get me off, but where written quite nicely and didn’t felt just included for the sake of it.”

“Guess that’s the advantage of having a horndog as a protagonist.”

“Well, Gina, did you masturbate to this?”

“Nah. At least with the animal fucker I could self insert. Can’t self insert into a laughing manchild of an ork.”

“Hm, yes same here. He does really laugh a lot, right? I know that this is Rance’s trademark, but honestly even he didn’t…”

“THIS REVIEW IS OVER!"