On the shores of Tripoli

Nick had no idea how to process Ella’s shift into Cinder for a moment. He stared at her in shock, and then it was like his mouth just stopped moving.

Cinder’s didn’t, though.

“What is the meaning of this?!” She clutched her body and crouched down to minimize how much of her was being looked at, all the while glaring up at Nick with a flaming red face. “This… this swimsuit-! Putting me- Ella- in something like this-!”

“Whoa, hold on there a second!” Vivian hopped to her feet and stormed over to the fuming latina. “Nobody ‘put’ Ella in anything, she chose that for herself. If you want to blame someone, then blame her.”

“Yeah, that’s right!” Carly nodded in agreement. “You shouldn’t shame someone for their choice of clothing, even if that person’s yourself!”

Dani winced. She wasn’t sure how much of that statement really held up considering who Carly was talking to, and Cinder clearly wasn’t responding well to it.

“They’re absolutely correct!” Kim asserted, putting her hands on her hips and stalking over to the other woman. She wasn’t about to take these claims. “I helped Ella pick that swimsuit out myself, you know! And it wasn’t easy, either!”

Cinder glanced at her, and started to shake. She clenched her teeth so hard that Dawn was worried they’d break in half.

“This… is unacceptable! Parading… parading her body around in some skimpy little-! How could this happen!?” She was practically in tears.

That was the tipoff to Nick. Cinder wasn’t just angry. She was feeling humiliated. And not entirely on Ella’s behalf, either.

That’s right… last time, the idea of sexual stuff completely set her off and she retreated in embarrassment. She… she can’t handle sexuality at all!

Like a little boy screaming “EWW! Cooties!” at the thought of a kiss, Cinder had absolutely zero tolerance for anything sex-related. The screaming and yelling was a defense mechanism to her body being put on display like this, because Ella was too freaked out by it herself and ran away and hid behind her other self.

Neither side of the girl could really deal with the attention she’d gotten from being put on the spot like this, only Cinder’s coping mechanism was outright hostility.

An awkward tension hung in the air. Cinder was still cursing out everyone she laid eyes on (mainly Nick) which only drew more attention to herself, and the other girls were trying to balance defending themselves from her attacks while also not pushing her even further.

Something was going to give, and Nick had to think fast. He jumped to his feet, inadvertently dumping Rose into the sand in the process, and rushed over to Gina.

“Hey, let me borrow this,” he said, not having the time to be polite. He grabbed her bulky jacket and yanked it off her, exposing her tattoos to the air.

“Whoa! Hey, easy there big guy!” Gina quickly realized how exposed she was and her hand shot up to cover the writing on her arm. But since nobody was looking at her, it didn’t really matter. Nick had already put her out of his mind as he rushed over to Cinder, jacket in hand, and draped it over her shoulders.

“Ur-urgh…” Cinder shook for a moment and raised her head to glare venomously at him, but she held her tongue. She wrapped the jacket tightly around her body to keep people from staring, and struggled to grapple with what had just happened.

“…Sorry,” Nick hastily apologized, scratching his head. He stepped back to avoid the outburst he predicted was coming.

Cinder, for her part, found herself in an absolutely untenable position. Nick’s quick thinking in covering up her body had made it easier for her to focus, now that she wasn’t the target of so many stares, including from him.

But… was she so supposed to feel grateful!? Was she supposed to thank him!? How could she ever do something like that, when this was his fault to begin with?!

Ella had picked out this swimsuit and put it on because she wanted Nick to admire her in it. Cinder was in touch with her alter’s emotions enough to recognize that desire. So, what, was that supposed to make it okay!?

Cinder didn’t want him looking at her at all!

Her face continued to burn, but her voice died on her lips. No matter what she tried, she couldn’t bring herself to condemn him, and she certainly couldn’t bring herself to thank him! She just stewed in impotent frustration.

“Cinder… I’m sorry you ended up in a position like this,” Nick apologized. “We were just trying to have some fun. Ella too. But it was too much for her to handle, so…”

“Shut up!” She spat. “Don’t think you can lecture me about Ella, and what she wants! I know her better than you ever will!”

Nick winced. “I-I wasn’t trying to-”

“Ella… that girl-! She doesn’t have any clue at all!” Cinder screamed. “She wants her perfect little fantasy, but… but it doesn’t work like that!”

And Cinder was always the one left picking up the pieces.

“I don’t think that’s fair…” Morgana timidly approached the volatile woman, trying to fight back her own anxiety. Cinder turned to her with an expression on her face that was equal parts pity and fear.

“And what do you know?”

“I know that… Ella spent a lot of time, picking out a swimsuit that would make her look cute,” Morgana said quietly.

“That’s right,” Kim nodded in agreement. “She was really self-conscious about the whole thing, but she wanted to look her best.”

“It’s just like me,” Morgana continued. “I was… I was scared too, picking out something this daring…” She pulled on the fabric of her swimsuit a little, to try and cover more of her breasts. But it was a futile gesture. “I know it sounds stupid… that I’d be embarrassed over something I chose for myself… but I was. Because… because I’m still just a girl who wants to look good, and I can’t always anticipate how I’ll feel in the moment.”

Morgana had been very afraid that when Nick finally saw her in her swimsuit, that she would completely regret picking out something so risqué. It had nearly sent her into a blind panic! But… she didn’t. She didn’t regret it at all.

Even if it was embarrassing, she had still done something for herself, and the positive results outweighed the overwhelming embarrassment.

“Shouldn’t you be respecting Ella’s choices a little more?” Dawn asked, coming to join in the conversation. She knew she was probably pretty high on Cinder’s shitlist, but she wanted to advocate for Ella, in a way that Cinder just wasn’t.

Cinder’s eyes widened in shock as she stared at the cat girl in disbelief.

“That… I…”

“I made the same mistake,” Dawn continued. “I was worried that Ella wouldn’t be able to handle wearing a swimsuit, that… well, that this would happen. She’d get overwhelmed with embarrassment and retreat back into her shell, and then you’d come out and make problems for everyone. But… Ella didn’t meekly back down. She told me not to patronize her and treat her like an invalid, so I supported her decision to take part in the competition.”

The unspoken accusation echoed across the beach.

Dawn had acquiesced to Ella’s demand to be treated as an adult, not someone to be coddled and protected.

Cinder had not.

And that being flung in her face made any words she thought of to say in protest ring as hollow and self-serving, making it impossible for her to say a damn thing.

She just screamed internally and turned an even deeper shade of scarlet.

“Cinder… think about how Ella feels right now,” Morgana said gently, approaching the unstable woman in front of her. “You’re connected to her feelings, aren’t you? So… is SHE upset? Does she actually regret picking out that swimsuit, and putting it on?”

“That’s right, being embarrassed isn’t the same thing as regretting,” Mary murmured, glancing over at Nick as she said that.

Cinder bit her lip so hard Nick was afraid it might start to bleed. And she was shaking, obviously fighting back strong emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her. Whether those emotions were unbridled rage or sorrow and remorse, that he couldn’t say.

But it was very likely a mix.

Finally, she let out a choked scream.

“And what about me, then!?”

Cinder’s voice cracked, stunning the three women who’d been trying to reach her. Everyone watched in silence as she raised her head, and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“You’re talking about Ella, like her regrets and her feelings are the only ones that matter… but what about my feelings, then!? HUH!? Do any of you cunts even give a damn about any of that!? Of course you fucking don’t!” With an accusatory snarl she leapt to her feet, pulling the leather coat tight around her body as she did.

“That… we… I didn’t mean to…” Morgana was at a loss for words as she tried to process the mountain of shit Cinder had just dumped on her.

Dawn was a little sharper at that.

“Cinder, that’s not what we meant to say,” she said quickly. “But you were talking about Ella, so we just assumed… I’m sorry. You’re right, Ella’s feelings aren’t the only ones that matter here.”

“But it’s important to understand that this is a choice she made, too,” Kim pointed out, not nearly as cajoling as the other girls. “Getting mad just because you don’t like the outcome-”

“Well, it’s my body too!” Cinder screamed, stomping her foot in the sand. “Ella… you think… you think I don’t know, that this was what she wanted?! Of course, of course I do, but… but-!”

“Then you should have just said that in the first place.”

Everyone turned to Amelia, who approached the other woman with a face devoid of sympathy.

“After hiding your feelings behind misplaced blame and using your alter as a shield to justify your outrage, do you expect that anyone would regard you with sympathy or concern?” The cold woman demanded. “I should think not. While it is regrettable that you were harmed with your body being put on display like this, such feelings do not justify your verbal **** of others. As someone who has trouble expressing my own feelings well, I can sympathize with your position. But until you realize that your issues do not give you an excuse to hurt others, any pleas for understanding will likely fall on deaf ears.”

Cinder started to shake again, unable to refute the words coming from the other woman’s lips, but unable to accept them, either.

Amelia narrowed her eyes, and prepared to plunge in the dagger.

“And most significantly of all… you have completely ignored the one person here who did explicitly take your feelings into consideration.”

She nodded over to Nick, and Cinder’s eyes widened. She tightened her grip on the jacket that he’d given her, and shamefully turned away from him.

“You… you want me to thank that… that…”

“You should,” Rose said, glowering at the petulant girl. She was still brushing sand off of her bikini. “He was so worried about you, he didn’t even consider how other people might react to his actions, you know!”

Nick winced. “…Sorry,” he apologized, but Rose was having none of it. She understood why he did what he did, but that didn’t mean she had to like it, even if she agreed it was the right thing to do.

“I… I can’t!” Cinder finally managed to get out. Her face was glowing like a Christmas tree light.

“Why not?” Dani demanded. She was starting to get really sick of this shit. Cinder treated Nick terribly, and even when he did something nice for her, she couldn’t even bring herself to spit out a simple “thank you”?

If Dani could get away with it, she’d like to give that selfish bitch a good sock in the jaw!

“Because! Be-because…” Cinder looked over at Nick, and it looked like she was about to cry. “If I thank him, then… then Ella… Ella might think it’s okay for her to fall for this guy! And she can’t!”

“Oh, come on! Seriously?” Gina rolled her eyes and scoffed in frustration. “Are you really so selfish that you’re gonna treat Nick like shit just because you don’t want your other self to get the hots for him? Well, newsflash, pretty sure that ship’s already sailed!”

If Gina of all people was giving a lecture on selfishness, it was time to pack it up. You’d already lost the moral high ground at that point.

Not that Cinder really cared about moral superiority in any real sense of the term. She was more concerned with her own rage.

Sylvia frowned. She’d remained quiet this entire time, but she found herself questioning just how much of what Cinder was saying actually held true for Ella as well. She didn’t feel comfortable verbalizing those suspicions and concerns, however, but they definitely intrigued her.

She wondered what Dakota would make of this whole thing. As expected, her creator was just watching the events play out with an amused look on her face.

Because that was the kind of woman she was. Just like Cinder was the kind of woman to levy **** on anyone she perceived as crossing her, whether that treatment was warranted or not.

And in Nick’s case, it definitely was not.

“Look, guys, it’s okay,” Nick said, sensing that people were turning against Cinder even more than they had before. “Cinder’s dealing with a lot of stuff too, you know. Cut her some slack, will you? Imagine if you were **** to put yourself on display like she just had to. You’d get really worked up and frustrated too, right?”

“We were, though,” Carly pointed out, not that she had a problem with that. “Most of us, anyway. Remember the very first challenge, when Sylvia **** us to wear swimsuits?”

The nostalgic grin on her face wasn’t really helping her objection though. Sylvia shrank back slightly and looked down at the sand with a guilty expression on her face.

“…Nick’s not wrong, though,” Dawn admitted. “After all, something like this… well, Cinder does have the right to be a little upset.”

After Amelia’s little speech, Dawn had started putting herself in Cinder’s shoes. How would she have felt, if someone else was controlling her body, making her say and do things that she never would have done under normal circumstances, and causing her to wind up in a position that humiliated and embarrassed her?

…

She didn’t have to imagine it, because she’d lived it. She glanced over at Morgana, and recognized that the goth was probably thinking the same thing. They both remembered when they were under the influence of those magic mirrors, and had been transformed into practically entirely different people.

In a way, was Cinder’s situation really that different?

But even so…

“That still doesn’t mean you can take it out on other people, though!” Rose stubbornly asserted. “Right, Mary? Back me up here! We can sympathize for her position while still recognizing that it’s not cool to act like that.”

“Rose is right,” Mary nodded in agreement.

“Gotta say, I feel the same way,” Vivian admitted, scratching her head. “But also… I think Nick’s got a point here.”

That came as a surprise. Even more surprising, Vivian walked over to Nick and patted him on the shoulder.

“I can’t say I agree with Cinder’s actions today, but… I do feel for her, you know?”

Nick was surprised to hear that from her, but it did help. Even if he was pretty sure she was only saying that to get into his good graces.

As for Cinder herself…

Having Nick come to her aid like that, and stand up for her… it was the last straw! Acting all nice like that! As if she didn’t see what he was doing!

That piece of shit! She cursed, glaring at his back with everything she had. Trying to be all nice! Getting me to lower my guard! He’s just trying to make me fall in love with him, so he can poison Ella’s mind and get her to fall as well! He knows that if he can get to me, then he can get to her! But I won’t let that happen! Even if it takes everything I’ve got, Ella won’t be with a guy like him!

Cinder knew that Ella wanted romance, and she knew that the person she wanted it with was the man in front of her.

But… Ella didn’t know the first thing about him! Was Cinder really supposed to entrust her heart to a man she didn’t know?!

Of course, the idea of getting to know him refused to even enter her mind. That… that would simply be too embarrassing! How could she ever-?!

Cinder felt the kiss of the leather jacket on her exposed shoulders, and shivered. How was she supposed to process this? How was she supposed to feel, knowing that someone she despised had done something so generous? Even knowing how she felt about him?

It doesn’t make sense! Nobody… nobody would do something like that… it has to be because… because he’s trying to win me over… in order to get to Ella… it has to be!

She **** herself to feel that way. Because she had to.

Cinder couldn’t let him win.

If she let up even for a moment, then Ella would fall in love with him. She could feel it in her heart. Every time she looked at Nick, she could feel those emotions, that desire, rising up from deep inside her. Threatening to take hold of her.

Hating him was the only thing she could do to stop it.

But feeling shrouded in Nick’s kindness like this, it was becoming harder and harder to resist the urge to look favorably upon him, because no matter how hard she tried to convince herself he’d only helped her because he wanted to win her over, she could feel genuine care.

So in order to keep herself from questioning her position any further and compromising her fight for Ella, she did the only thing she could, and promptly ran away.

“…Eh?” Ella blinked, roused from her retreat, and looked around in confusion. Everyone was staring at her, and her heart was racing a mile a minute. She was still on the beach, but it felt like her thoughts were a blur. Like she’d just missed a chunk of time. “What… what just happened?”