On Christmas Eve at Santa's workshop., by sumedokin

“Holy fuck! That scared the fuck out of me!”

“This the 100th story featured on Marcie and Gina read! I never thought we get that far.”

“I hoped we didn’t get that far.”

“As such a huge milestone, I think we should take the time to reminiscence about our journey a bit. I have games planned! And lots of surprises and special guest. In fact let us introduce our first one…”

“Did you account for Gambio’s stories?”

“What?”

“Did you account for the reviews people did on Gambio’s stories? I mean that fuck unkown just did a review on Hard Candy. Again.”

“Well...”

“You didn’t.”

“N-No matter, Gina. W-who cares about these others self proclaimed reviewers anyway? This is our podcast.”

“Ok.”

“Very good, so…”

“So, did you detract the ones done by Rina and Ben?”

“Uh…”

“They did a couple of stories too. Not to mention the few times either one of us was absent. Do these count for half or...”

“FINE! Party’s is cancelled! It’s not that I wanted it anyways.”

“Hehehehe.”

“We are reading On Christmas Eve at Santa's workshop., by sumedokin!”

“Oh it’s that nerd again. Wait, did he actually put a point in the fucking title?”

“Actually Gina, that’s called a period.”

“I wish I had a period so I don’t have to read a fucking Santa Claus sex story.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Our story starts in Santa’s workshop.”

“More like Satan’s sweatshop.”

“Our protagonist, an elf named Hailey isn’t particularly fond of her job and as such conspires to get Santa kidnapped by a group of naughty girls.”

“Yeah, they literally call themselves that.”

"Seize this at once, ladies! There is still time to make things right before this situation gets ugly." Santa said sternly.

“And that is what we call a freudian slip.”

“To my surprise there is actually porn in this. Santa BDSM porn.”

“I mean, it’s all fairly innocent. It’s almost cute.”

“If it wouldn’t involve a fat grandpa maybe.”

“Err...yeah. And sumedokin is not above reminding us of the fact. I wonder how big the audience for this is. There’s got to be some people who find Santa Claus bondage erotic. Perhaps Tim Burton?”

“Anyways, Hailey soon regrets, that she sold out her employer. Like really fucking soon, we are talking minutes after him.”

“Thus she goes on a quest to save him.”

“Which involves talking to some insane elf in Santa’s bondage dungeon.”

“It does beg the question why Santa has a bondage dungeon for the clinically insane in the first place. The story itself comments on it, so I can’t harp on it too much but still…”

“We leave looney elf and go read his books instead.”

“Hm, this appears to be a riddle. We have to pick the right book to proceed.”

“Ugh, great, that’s what I want in my fucking porn stories! Riddles!”

“Well, it is a rather simple one. The obvious answer is The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas”

“How do you figure, Marcie?”

“The first clue is the premise of the story, featuring a man that is unjustly imprisoned, second “Monte Cristo” is not only a reference to Christ, but has the same initials as “Merry Christmas” which was the last sentence the mad elf said to Hailey.”

“...and it’s the wrong choice.”

“...this riddle is stupid.”

“Alright, let me have a go...The time machine!”

“I don’t see the connection, Gina.”

“Well, Allison is obsessed with time machines so...”

“Oh, Gina, please. If it’s actually that one I let you edge me for a week.”

“and the answer is...wrong! FUCK! Fuck you sumedokin, you piece of shit! I was looking forward to that!”

“Alright fine, the three musketeers then. There are three kidnappers, so from all the remaining options this makes the most sense.”

“Yup, looks like you got it on the third try.”

“Well, I still believe Monte Cristo should have been the proper answer. I suppose I am just too smart for this nonsensical story.”

At the time it had been Hailey's job to strike all the good boys who had died in combat from the nice list. Even though the names she struck were but ink on a paper, it was somehow a harrowing experience still, to the point Hailey couldn't sleep afterwards. But she couldn't just say that to Jess. How could she understand? What was there to understand?

“Wow, shit suddenly got dark.”

“Indeed this story is a lot darker then you would assume. It deals with suicide, loss, insanity, guilt.”

“Again, this is a story about Santa getting kidnapped by a bunch of girls who are angry they are on the naughty list.”

No longer was Santa the fat, bearded giver of gifts. His magic now drained from his body, the mass and maturity his magic had imbued him with began to withdraw as well. What was left was a slender yet muscular man in his late teens or early twenties with thick, curly white hair and a face with smooth and handsome features.

“Huh.”

“Ok, hold on. So the magic christmas powers make Santa old and fat? That’s the shittiest powers ever!”

“I suppose at least, he is cute now.”

“I don’t give a shit either way, but I guess that’s an improvement.”

“You know, Gina. While I do agree I can’t help but feel disappointed.”

“Why?”

“BDSM Santa is like a trainwreck, you just can’t look away from. By transforming him into a cute boytoy it kinda loses that facet.”

“Well, not that there is much porn in this anyway. In fact, the only thing resembling porn happens with fat Santa.”

“Hm yes, sumedokin clearly enjoys femdom bondage, but when it comes to actually writing a scene he struggles to perform.”

“What a loser.”

“My advice, write when you are horny. It short circuits your shame and you can put a lot more depraved things to paper.”

“Ok, so Hailey touches some magic star and possesses one of the naughty girls just as she was to anal the shit out of Santa.”

“That takes one of the naughty girls out of the picture. And the second one decides to help Santa escape.”

“I swear, these bitches are all completely useless. But then again Judie is the only one of them that matters.”

“Bit of a missed opportunity really. If sumedokin wasn’t so eager to rescue Santa we could have fleshed them out a bit more through sexposition.”

“But as it is the only one who get some backstory is Judie...is this a fucking flashback inside of a flashback?”

“I wish I could say this was the first time we encountered this.”

“So Judie turns out to be a centuries old witch who’s angry at Santa for saving her life while a group of Christmas hating radicals tried to burn her alive after killing her father.”

“Add existential dread to the themes sumedokin is tackling.”

“There’s a bit of a showdown, Santa gets back the Nordpol. Gets even more shorter and transforms his magic to another elf who now becomes sexy female Santa. Meanwhile Haily transforms into a succubus and abducts Elf Santa. The end!”

“You uh, sure speed that up there, Gina.”

“We are on page fucking seven, Marcie.”

“Oh very well, what did you think?”

“This sure wasn’t a Christmas miracle.”

“You know, I actually like what sumedokin was going for with this one. And with over 50+ chapters, the majority of them depicting the events of one single night, it is a bit weird to say this, but it feels a tad rushed.”

“Not rushed enough for my taste. This fucker spend ages waffling about trauma and stuff.”

“Sumedokin had the right ingredients for this. His writing, bar the odd typo here and there, is good. The themes he wants to explore are griping. But the story simply needed more time to cook. Have Santa spend more time with the naughty girls, flesh each of them out. Then make the actual final fight against Judie something remarkable instead of this…”

“Car wreck.”

“Decently put.”

“And put some sex into this, you weird person.”

“That too, the ending in particular was almost setting itself up for a grand sex scene to tie things up...(heh)but it just never happened. Also, speaking of ending. It’s somewhat...cruel to Santa don’t you think?”

“Well, the story is in Bad Ends, Marcie.”

“Yes, I suppose. We know Santa is into it. But he clearly also likes his day..err night job. And there is more to life then being a sex . Just ask, Gina.”

“Don’t use me for an example, you psycho!”

“Anyways, it’s a bit weird that the ending feels so mean spirited. Like, nobody even seems to care that Santa is gone. Worse, Judie is responsible for turning Hailey into a succubus in the first place, so it’s almost like she won in the end.”

“Again, Marcie. This story is in bad ends. It’s supposed to have a shitty ending.”

“Which almost makes it worse. It feels like sumedokin decided to give Santa a bad end at the last minute to adhere to the stories theming. It feels unearned.” Actually...hold on.”

“Ugh...what?”

“Isn’t Hailey the protagonist?”

“Uh...I guess.”

“But she clearly didn’t get a bad ending.”

“Yeah, Hailey worked through all her emotional baggage and is much happier now.”

“Meaning not even the premise is fitting. Oh now, I am just completely done with this, Gina!”

“Great. I wish we where down with this five pages ago.”

“Merry Christmas everyone and a happy new year!”

“It’s march.”