Ok maybe one mercy

While this has been extremely fun, if you keep this up much longer, one of the three of you might need to excuse yourself. In order to get this meal to the heights you’re hoping for, it’s probably a good idea to pump the breaks. You figure the best course of action is taking the spotlight away from Mom. “I guess I should tell you all about my week! Class has been fine, homework is ramping up slightly but not much pressure since my first midterm is still a couple weeks away.” You look over to Hannah in time to witness her eyes ungluing from her mother’s bosom before catching again on her sister’s. You continue as confidently as you can. “Oh, also! I think someone in my C# class is gay, which is cool, potential new friend and everything.”

Your mom’s voice contains a hint of relief. “That’s wonderful Spring Flower, I’m so excited to see you making friends again.” She quickly asks a followup question to bounce attention back to you. “What about that friend you made at the resource center?”

Hannah pipes up at that, “Yeah! The one with the weird name, what was it again, ****? ****?”

Mom “yes-ands” the offer. There’s a hint of comedy in her voice as she says, “No dear, it starts with a P, I think it was Pneumonia.”

Hannah returns the volley. “That’s not the one, maybe Poltergeist?”

Mom replies, “No, that can’t be right, how about Pitch Black Void?” At this point you can tell they’re going to be at it for a while, so you dig into your food while they enjoy themselves.

…

“No that’s not it, Plague?”

“Uh uh, Pathogen?”

“Parasite?”

“Pustule?”

“Scar?”

“Like the Cheetah Queen villain? No way, also that doesn’t even start with P. Maybe it was Putrescence?”

“Too 17th century, what about Persistence”

“Hmm, persistence is too hopeful of a word, it's probably closer to Persistent Sense Of Isolation.”

Hannah exclaims “I’ve got it! Pestilence!” around the same time as you’ve swallowed the last lemon-slice. Finishing your meal is probably a good sign that you should interrupt this verbal tennis match. Personally, you think it’s cool. If you meet someone and they say “hi my name is Poison” that’ll give you a strong sense of their vibe immediately. You want to butt in and defend their honor, but you better have a story to pair that with if you want to live it down.

The last time you saw your friend was at their job this past Friday, and it didn’t go well. You can’t believe you ranted for as long as you did about eggs? No wonder they didn’t want to keep hanging out with you, you’re really too annoying to be around, outside of short bursts. Honestly why does Poison interact with you considering how often you fuck up conversation? Your sister and mother were just sharing success stories, and you don’t want to be the odd one out. How to get out of this one? The rectangular assistant on your lap should help throw a wrench in the works. You’ve already used two of your actives today, might as well use as many as you can find a reason to in one interaction.

Since your family is still distracted, you have time to review your new abilities.

Mom’s first:

Active - It Can't Wait:

Condition(s): Subject is within 25 meters of the User. Subject is focused on something other than the User.

Effect(s): Subject will immediately disengage from her current activity and attempt to receive praise from the User instead. Subject will behave more desperately than usual in order to achieve her goal. Effect intensifies until subject receives praise or 1 hour passes.

Cooldown: 8 hours

Now Hannah:

Active - Get a Load of This:

Condition(s): Subject is within 1 kilometer of the user or a device capable of sending a photograph to the user. Subject is within 1 meter of an appropriate photo or a device capable of taking a photo.

Effect(s): Subject will deliver an erotic photograph of a person who is currently within 1 kilometer of the User. Subject will not repeat photos. Subject will prioritize speed of delivery. If there is less than 0.5 seconds difference between multiple photos, she will choose between them based on perceived novelty and familiarity to the user.

Cooldown: 3 hours

Based on the description of these two effects, “Get a Load of This” seems like the less disruptive one. It’s also a good way to test if you understand how it works. You can even make a proper experiment out of this.

While you don’t want to do something as physically conspicuous as writing, you do at least take a moment to mentally log a hypothesis. If you read the effect description right, Hannah’s top priority will be delivering a picture as soon as possible. The fastest method would be to grab her phone, quickstart the camera and send whatever picture she takes regardless of photo quality. Given that she’s topless and it’d be more than novel for her to send you a topless photo of her, she’ll probably just send you a selfie. Your sister taking a selfie in her state might be a little weird from Mom’s perspective, but you doubt she’d complain, especially considering the groundwork you’ve laid. Only one way to find out.

Activating ‘Get a Load of This’

For a brief moment, you wonder if Mom is too caught up in her and your sister’s word game to notice Hannah taking a picture at all. You look up at her face to see if she reacts. Unfortunately all the predicting proper nouns preceded by plosives in the world couldn’t distract her from the flash of Hannah’s phone, especially coupled with the incredibly 2006 fake shutter sound. Honestly you’re a little surprised Hannah has her flash on, not to mention that she’d use it in front facing mode.

Your mom turns her head first, allowing you to see the shock enter her face. “SWEETIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” As she yelps this, you get a text from Hannah. You check it right away to confirm your already growing suspicions.