Of Mushrooms and Monsters

As Mario walked through the quiet, mostly sleeping Toad Town, he remembered that he had a question for Vidyhyne, “Say, Vide…”

“Yes?”

“Can the Tome make it possible to, ah, shoot blanks, as it were?”

“Oh, scared of a little responsibility, are we?” Vide teased him.

“Nah,” Mario said, “I just wanna have kids on my terms, y’know?”

Vide hummed a slight giggle as she flew around him, shooting him a look that made Mario feel as though she were staring right into his soul. For all he knew, she probably was. “Well, as much fun as it would be to watch you squirm and question yourself,” she eventually said, “I suppose I can answer this question for you: Yes, it’s possible to use the Grimoire as a contraceptive, but only as a contraceptive. If you decide later that you want a child, you’d better be certain: the Tome cannot be used to abort the pregnancy, even indirectly.”

“That’s good to know, actually,” Mario sighed. He hadn’t even considered using it in such a way.

“My purpose, and by extension the Tome of Fantasy’s purpose, is to propagate sex,” Vidyhyne continued, “And the purposes of sex is pleasure and procreation. The denial of either of these tenants is a direct violation of our collective purpose.”

“So you’re saying it’s impossible to kill someone with the Note?” Mario made an educated guess from reading between the lines.

“Oh, very good!” The goddess praised him, raising her arms up and squeezing her breasts, “I absolutely love how quick you are to catch on to these things!”

“… I take it a bunch of dullards have found the Tome before,” Mario stated.

“You have no idea,” she frowned.

Before Mario knew it, they had arrived at the castle gates, and Mario had to end the conversation there lest the guards overhear him talking to thin air. Mario retraced his steps from earlier this morning, walking up the steps to Peach’s Bedchambers. It was still so hard to believe that just a few hours ago, Mario had been chasing the stripping Princess through the Castle. So much of his life had changed in such little time.

As he pondered his lot in life, Mario came to a familiar fork in the hall and made the turn directly leading him to Peach’s chambers. As he did so, he cast a look behind him. Vidyhyne was no longer there. Well, she did say something about finding someone to play with while he got busy with Peach.

“Master Mario,” a Royal Guardsman said upon the plumber’s approach, bowing and standing aside to let him pass as his partner did the same, “Please go inside, the Prin…, Queen is waiting for you in her chambers.”

“Thank you,” Mario reached for the doorknob and then paused, “If you’d like, you may take the rest of the night off now that I’m here. She won’t come to harm, but… it might get noisy.”

The Guardsman blushed, but adamantly said, “I appreciate the offer, Master, but my job is to remain here regardless of any, uh…, happenings.”

“Suit yourself,” Mario chuckled as he entered the Queen’s Bedchambers.

It was very pink in here, Mario thought as he stepped through the threshold. He hoped that when he became King, he got his own bedchambers, or at the very least he could convince Peach to do some redecorating. A figure shifted under the many covers of the nearby four-poster bed, sitting up and modestly covering herself up with a bed sheet. Stars, even half-asleep and messy-haired she was beautiful. It was still strange seeing her without make-up, but he had had a whole evening seeing her without it so he was starting to get used to it.

“Mario?” She yawned, “Why are you just standing there? Take off your clothes and come join me, already.”

“Sorry, Peach,” Mario said as he undid the one fastener holding up his overalls, “Just admiring the view.”

“Oh?” Peach said, lowering the sheet so that he could get a good look at her naked chest, “How’s the view now?”

“Much better,” Mario smirked as he freed himself from his prison of denim, his monster of a penis jumping as it was let loose, “Now that everything’s cleared up.”

“Hm-mmm,” Peach’s eyes were already practically glazing over just from the memory of it in her, “The view’s not so bad from over here either.”

“I’ll bet it’ll look amazing once it all comes together,” Mario said as he walked over to the side of the bed not currently occupied. Peach turned a knob close to her, dimming the lights. Light from the moon filtered in through the sheer curtains covering the windows to the balcony doors.

“Mmm,” Peach hummed, leaning in for a kiss, “Me too.”

Mario returned the invitation, taking his time tasting her lips and tongue, reaching his hand up to caress her face. “Ah,” Peach sighed in content when they broke it off, “What took you so long?”

“My brother decided to pay me a surprise visit,” Mario explained, pulling the covers away so that he could sit on the Queen’s bed. Oh Stars, where did she get this mattress? It was so comfortable! “So I had to play host for a few, you know how it is. He didn’t believe me when I told him we were an item.”

“Oh, you poor man!” Peach said. Mario couldn't tell if she was being genuine or not. “I certainly kept you waiting, didn’t I?”

“The wait was worth it,” Mario told her, feeling her up under the sheets. She playfully slapped his wrist.

“I hope I can say the same,” she smirked.

“Oh, you minx!” Mario said as he climbed onto her and she laughed, biting her lip.

“I was actually hoping I could pick your brain over a couple of things,” Peach said to him as he suckled on her breast.

He rolled her erect nipple between his teeth before coming up, “Really? Now?”

“Am I a Queen or not?” Peach smiled naughtily, as he petted her moistening kitty, “I can mix work and pleasure.”

“Heh,” Mario smirked as he continued playing with her folds, “I can work with that.”

Meanwhile, a Toadette stood nearby behind a hidden servant’s door that had been cracked open. She had come to deliver Mario’s clothing to the Royal Bedchambers, per her orders, but the Hero had walked in before she had a chance to slip in and out. Unseen and unheard, like a good maid. But what was the protocol for when the Prin…, no the Queen, had invited a guest to her chambers and began engaging in carnal activities?

Toadette fidgeted. Would the Queen or Hero notice if she delivered the clothes now? They seemed pretty occupied at the moment. Would they get upset? Would they care? Would they… invite her? She squirmed at the thought. She was already worried that she might be pregnant from the orgy earlier, so many unprotected cocks had entered her then. Though, Stars, did all of that feel good! And that Mario, he was gigantic!

“Oh?” Came a voice from around Toadette, “What have we here?”

“Huh?” Toadette squeaked, looking around at the servant’s hall around her, “Is someone there?”

“She’s adorable!” Said another voice, similar to the one before but with a different inflection, “Let’s play with her!”

“It’s already begun, she wouldn’t have heard us otherwise.”

Toadette’s heart was beating a heavy drumbeat in her chest, and everything in her mind and body was screaming at her that she should run away and continue running until she came to the edge of the world, but her body just wouldn’t respond. Some… thing rose from the floor as though it were made of water, and Toadette opened her mouth to scream but no voice could leave her mouth because her body had stopped breathing out of pure terror.

A hand, long, slender, and uncanny pressed a finger to Toadette’s gaping mouth, “Shh, shh, shh. We don’t want to disturb the happy couple, now do we?” said the voice.

“It’ll all be over soon,” said another, “Just take some deep breaths, and you’ll feel better, we promise.”

Toadette’s body involuntarily gasped, forcing a breath into her. It tasted sweet but savory, like chocolate-covered bacon. A warm, tingling sensation began to spread throughout her body, first in her lungs and then outward. Toadette began to feel numb, then giddy, and then finally drunk, like she had had one too many Chuckola Colas. The pleasant feeling then began to **** her breasts and nether regions, and a haze of lust took over her mind. This…, this felt a lot like the orgy earlier…

“Oh!” said a third voice, taking the bundle of clothing from Toadette’s slackening grip, “Were you here to deliver this? Let me take care of that for you!”

“We can’t be seen!” the first voice hissed.

“He won’t see me,” the third voice pouted. The arm that took the clothes vanished into the wall and then withdrew, sans clothes, “See? He was much too preoccupied to have noticed!”

“Close the door, while you’re at it,” the second voice told her.

“Yes, ma’am.”

The door shut quietly, and Toadette was left on her own in a room with a being that her mind could not comprehend. But she felt…, strangely okay with that. She felt like she was floating on a cloud, without a care in the world. Was this what it was like to be on ****?

“She should be under by now,” the first voice said, “Ready for play time.”

“Play…, time?” Toadette echoed, even her own voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

“That’s right,” the second voice told her, coming from both from a distance and very near. In fact, all three voices were like that; like if the voices were an ethereal presence all around Toadette, surrounding her. The melodic tones of just their normal speech sounded like music, “Now then, Toadette, I want you to talk to us just like how you would any other person, okay?”

“Okay,” Toadette agreed, not questioning how this being had already known her name. Anything to keep this going. She felt…, so good.

“You’re a very open-minded girl, aren’t you? I can tell just by looking, you know. You like both guys and girls, is that right?”

“Yes,” Toadette answered, “But don’t tell the other maids, they’ll think I’m weird.”

“I very much doubt that,” the third voice giggled, “Just from a passing glance, I could tell most people here are at least bi-curious! Which is weird, y’know? Most universes, that sort of thing is in the minority.”

“Really?” Toadette asked, “I never would’ve guessed. Most people in the Kingdom are raised believing in traditional values. Straight, monogamous relationships only. It’s been that way for generations.”

“The orgy,” The first voice gasped, “With a single entry, that man sexually liberated an entire town!”

“Whoa!” the third responded, “Seriously?! Why haven’t we fucked him yet?”

“His mind wouldn’t survive the encounter,” the second voice replied, “Yet. Give him time. We’ll make a toy out of him yet.”

“A…, toy?” Toadette frowned, upset for a brief moment before it was washed away by the tingling emotional numbness, “You see people…, as objects?”

“Allow me to answer that with another question, my dear,” the first voice chuckled softly, like a grandmother might to a silly child, “Do you see the common insect as a sentient person? You are as that to us. Worse than primitive, but worthy of our admiration, respect, and lust.”

“I…, don’t understand,” Toadette replied after a moment.

“That’s alright!” the third voice told her, echoed by the second, who added “You don’t have to.”

“Just surrender your body and mind to us,” the first voice said gently, “And everything will be alright. If you behave, we might even leave you with a gift.”

“I…,” Part of Toadette’s mind, the primitive part that made up the bulk of all beings’ survival instincts, was still sounding alarm bells in her mind, telling her that something about this whole situation was not right, that she should flee while she still had a perceivable chance. But she felt so good. She never wanted to leave this lustful cloud of euphoria that she was riding, “Okay. Do with me what you will.”

“Good girl,” the first voice cooed. The second voice announced, “Then let us begin.”