Odie Fairbanks

Odie’s routine began like it usually did, looking at podcast statistics. The numbers were not bad, but given that Miri just got laid off, they needed to get more people to the Patreon to cover her. The doctoral student looked around her room, littered with books. Looking at the time, she got dressed in blue denim suspenders to head to the convention center. Katie is a goddamn wizard of a producer. I would have never thought that we would get a live show in our first year of the show. The literature student picked up a copy of Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett to be a physical copy for the show. Before leaving, Odie looked at the data for the other shows on the podcast network. The data had not changed in the time since she left to get dressed; nonetheless, she continued her ritual of needlessly chasing metrics.

Once she managed to pull herself away from the alluring numbers, she had to work on the next task, wrangling talent. The torrent of new emails reflect myriad issues from more mundane things like scheduling to an issue Odie wanted to avoid at all cost. She clicked the email from her thesis advisor labeled “Grant Issues”. We regret to inform you that at the current time additional funds from this grant are not available due to the federal funding pause. The student wasn't surprised by the contents of the email. Projects across all departments of the university have had their funding cut. The funding for a podcast network encouraging reading was always going to be a hard sell in this environment. Thankfully across the five shows the podcast infrastructure is at least self sustaining.

“What am I going to do? We'll need to schedule a meeting soon about advertising now.” She groaned to herself leaning back in her chair. A notification appeared on her computer. It was a message from Katie in the podcast group chat, she had sent some dating game sign up at the convention for us to play. Well there is a lot of time till we go on stage. It could be a fun way to kill time. Thinking nothing of it, Odie signed up for the game. She was gone with a pink flash.

Finding herself in a pink room the doctorate student sprinted out the only visible opening. Entering the lecture room Odie was greeted with the sight of her friends talking to an orange nude woman and countless other women with features mirroring the nudist. The doppelgängers cleared a path for the student to mingle with the rest of the others. The instant the path was clear Odie leapt in a running hug around Miri, tears streaming from her eyes.

“Miri what's going on? I was in my apartment and then I was teleported here.”

The former copywriter rubbed her friend's shoulder, “This isn't going to be easy to believe but, this is the game that Katie sent to us. Aliens are real and they are horny motherfuckers. So the game is that we are trying to seduce Katie.”

“Is that why Katie took off her shirt?” The student said between sniffles.

“For simplicity’s sake let's just say yes. The nudist over there is ELEECE, she is the host of our game, she is going to ask you some questions and you will be **** to answer truthfully.”

One of the host’s doppelgängers taps the student's shoulder carrying some tissue. “I understand that you might need more time, but I need you to give your name, age, occupation, cup size, and last sexual encounter for the audience.” ELEECE asked from her primary body.

“Odie Fairbanks, 30-years-old, doctoral student, B-cup and it was a little under a year ago with my ex-girlfriend the day before I learned that she was cheating on me with my twin sister.” The shakiness in her voice became more subdued as she continued. “Those assholes still haven't apologized and are living it up in LA. AND FOR SOME REASON MOM THINKS I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD LET THINGS GO!” she was taking deep breaths, the previous fear evaporated.

“You okay Odie, you want to talk about this. I have a feeling we are all going to have a lot of time to get to know each other.” Katie asked, approaching the shaking student.

“No it's perfectly fine. I am perfectly able to move on. I am not boring right? So what if Amy works with explosives and fancy parties. Books are cool.” Odie said to no one in particular. “Okay yes I'm not over it but I don't think anyone would be with the excuse ‘I thought it was you.’”

Clapping suddenly erupted from the room as all the doppelgängers began clapping their hands together. “Congratulations to all present. You are the lucky chosen to take part in another glorious season of Harem Hotel!” The host exclaimed with a pirouette.