Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done

The main purpose of a sauna (in a normal health spa, anyway) was to make the people inside to sweat out the toxins in their body. It was a form of purging themselves, improving circulation and health by encouraging perspiration. A type of cleansing, if you would, where everything was laid bare and the people using had everything washed away.

…For the most part, that was what was happening here… on a physical level, anyway. Dani was definitely feeling purified as she let the hot steam wash over her, coaxing out all her toxins as they rolled down her skin and onto the damp wood beneath her curvaceous body.

But a sauna wasn’t just supposed to be about the physical release. There was supposed to be a mental release as well, almost a spiritual catharsis, where the person using the sauna could feel their body being purified as their pores and their souls opened up to let everything come pouring out.

On that front, Dani was having far less luck.

She looked across from her at the elegant heiress sitting on the other side of the smoldering wood altar in the center of the room. Vivian hadn’t objected when Dani suggested adding more water to increase the amount of steam. And even though her cheeks were flushed and her towel was sticking tightly to her figure, even though she was fanning herself with her hand, she seemed just as chipper and unshakable as always.

Dani had to admit- it was kind of impressive. If you’d asked her a week ago if Vivian could handle being in a sauna for this long, she would have laughed and said no way. The spoiled little rich girl, putting up with discomfort like this? Not a chance!

She was pleasantly surprised to be proven so wrong.

As accurate as it may have been to categorize Vivian as a spoiled rich girl, Dani had observed that there was far more complexity to her than just that. The heiress seemed to regard the extra steam as almost a challenge or an exciting adventure, and when Dani asked her if it wasn’t getting too hot for her, what did she say?

“Nah, I could go even hotter. But feel free to step outside if you need a break!”

Cheeky girl. Dani couldn’t help but smile at that response.

Still… Dani hadn’t just asked Vivian into the sauna so they could get away from Nick and Morgana. She’d wanted to have some privacy with the other girl, in order to get a better sense of who she really was deep down. Just like Nick was trying to get to know Morgana better, Dani was trying to do the same with her “date”.

“Vivian, would you consider us friends?” Dani asked, wiping her hair out of her eyes. She grimaced at the feeling of her soaking wet wrist against her forehead. She kept forgetting that she had feathers now, and wet feathers weren’t exactly a pleasant sensation.

But that was the last thing on her mind.

Vivian peered through the steam, a curious look on her face. She fixed a cheerful grin to her lips and leaned back on the wood bench, fanning herself again.

“Well, of course we’re friends!” She chirped, sounding way happier about that than most people would when posed with such a basic question. “That’s why you invited me today, right?”

Dani grinned. It was hard to be in a bad mood around a girl as cheerful as Vivian was right now. “That’s right,” she agreed. “I’m not exactly the most social person in the world, I’ve told you that already… but I really want to be your friend.”

“Yup. And now we are! Isn’t it grand?” Vivian batted her eyelashes.

Apparently it really was that simple to her. Dani wasn’t sure how she should take that, if she was being honest with herself. While she appreciated the simplicity of Vivian going “Well, we’re friends now, that’s all there is to it!” she wanted a little more than that.

She wanted something deeper.

Dani was about to follow up her question with another comment when Vivian beat her to the punch.

“I was thinking, Dani, you’re an artist, right? I think somebody said something about that?” She leaned forward on the bench, surprising Dani with the sudden piercing question.

Dani blinked. “O-oh, yeah, I’m an artist,” she confirmed with a nod. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was thinking, after we’re done with this show and we’re all back home on earth, maybe we could go tour some famous art galleries together?” Vivian suggested, pressing her hands together and flashing a beaming smile. “I’ve never had much of an interest in fine art myself, I’ll admit, but I’ve got a pretty good eye. Don’t you think that would be just amazing?”

Dani’s jaw dropped as she processed the other woman’s offer. “Wait… you want to do like… a museum walk, or something?”

Vivian bobbed her head up and down. “I thought it would be fun! Just the two of us, hanging out and looking at paintings and sculptures together and whathaveyou. …Oh, or we could bring your girlfriend along too, maybe? Carly? And her sister, and Emmy as well, make a whole trip out of it, wouldn’t that be grand?”

Dani didn’t know what to say. That sounded pretty nice- heck, it was quite a generous offer from the heiress! Dani could easily imagine Vivian ushering everyone into one of her private jets to fly to half a dozen of the most famous museums around the world. If there was one thing Dani had come to learn about the free-spirited girl it was that she liked being generous with her money, especially when it came to her friends.

That’s when something else occurred to the aspiring artist.

“…Vivian, are you sure about that?” Dani asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Why not?” The heiress looked confused. “It sounds like a lot of fun! We’d have a blast, just a bunch of friends hanging out together!”

Dani narrowed her eyes. “Nick’s invited too, right?” She probed, expecting Vivian to react to that question.

To say she reacted would be an understatement.

The heiress did a pretty decent job of hiding her flinch. It would be quite easy to dismiss as a simple muscle twitch. And her smile didn’t falter that much.

But Dani had been expecting it, so she had been keeping an eye out for any changes in body language or demeanor.

And she’d spotted a big one.

Vivian is pretty good at hiding her feelings, Dani thought, furrowing her brow. It wasn’t quite lying, not exactly. The heiress was just quite adept at shifting the conversation away from topics that made her uncomfortable.

“…So I was thinking, for our museum trip…”

Normally Dani was too polite to push on an issue when it was obvious that the other person didn’t want to talk about it.

Under ordinary circumstances, anyway.

These circumstances were far from ordinary.

If someone was trying to avoid an obviously painful topic because they didn’t want to confront an issue that very clearly needed to be confronted, Dani couldn’t just stand back and let them do it. it wasn’t in her nature.

Vivian didn’t want to talk about Nick. But after the headaches that Dani had endured from putting off addressing her own complicated feelings regarding Carly, she didn’t want her new friend to make the same mistake.

“Vivian, you don’t have to do this,” Dani loudly interrupted her, cutting the talkative woman off right as she was getting to the fancy restaurants they could eat at on their whirlwind journey.

Thrown off, Vivian took a second to process, staring at Dani with a blank expression on her face like a computer that was buffering.

“…Huh? I don’t…”

“This trip, forget about it,” Dani said, getting up and approaching the shaken heiress.

Vivian’s eyes widened and for a fraction of a second a look that Dani could only describe as pure dread flashed across her face.

“Y-you… you don’t want to go on a trip with me?” Vivian managed to stammer out before she regained her cool. She smoothed over her wet hair. “Well, no big deal, that… that’s not an issue. Is there anything else we can do, then?”

Instead of answering, Dani plopped down right beside her and swung her head to the side, looking into the shaken woman’s eyes.

“I don’t need a bribe to be your friend, Vivian,” the tomboy bluntly informed the other girl, eliciting a gasp.

“A… no, I’m not trying to bribe you to be my friend!” Vivian snorted, shaking her head quickly. “We’re friends, that’s all, I’m happy to help my friends! You’d do the same if you were in my shoes, wouldn’tcha?”

Dani probably would. But that wasn’t the point.

“If you think that I’d be happy with that, you’re wrong,” she said bluntly, shaking her head. “To be clear, I’d love to go to a museum with you, Vivian, if you’d actually enjoy doing that. But it doesn’t have to be some big production. I know plenty of small museums right in my city that we could go check out. No world tour or fancy restaurants required.”

Her eyes burned into Vivian’s without blinking. She wouldn’t back down here. Vivian had to know that it didn’t matter what she could “do” for Dani. That wouldn’t make her any better or worse of a friend in her eyes.

Unfortunately, the heiress seemed to be struggling to internalize that fact. Her mouth flopped open and closed, morphing into all manner of shapes as she tried to process what she was hearing.

“That… I… …Dani, come on, it’s not a big deal!” Vivian laughed shakily, waving her hand. “You invited me on a spa day! That’s a big thing! What, I can’t return the favor?”

Dani shook her head. “Not at all, I’m thrilled you want to return the favor,” she said. “I just don’t want you to think you have to. You said it yourself, I’m happy to help my friends.”

She reached out and took Vivian’s hand into hers, looking the shaken girl deeply in the eyes.

“Friends do nice things for each other. But the last thing I want is for you to feel obligated to pay me back. Okay?”

Vivian nodded slowly, like she understood, but the perplexed expression on her face said otherwise. “…Okay…?” She parroted back, the words sounding unnatural on her lips.

Dani sighed. Unfortunately, her friend just wasn’t getting it.

“Vivian… I’m not going to pretend like we have the same opportunities, because that’s just stupid,” Dani said, shaking her head. What, was she going to oblige Vivian to act like a pauper just so they could be on the same level? Ridiculous.

The confused look on Vivian’s face said she wasn’t getting it. Dani didn’t expect her to, sadly.

She sighed.

“…What I mean is… you have a lot of money. Anything nice I do for you, can pay me back WAY more. And… that’s kind of a problem.”

Vivian winced. “Look, if you… if you don’t want me to do nice things for you…”

“No, as your friend, I’d be happy if you did nice things for me,” Dani clarified. “It’s not that it’s a problem, it’s just… Vivian, I’m afraid you’re a little too generous.”

Vivian blinked, then barked out a laugh. “Huh!? I’m too generous? How does that even work?” She quickly yanked her hand back and held her sides, laughing some more. “First time in history a billionaire’s ever been accused of THAT! You should share that one with Kim, she’ll get a real kick out of it!”

Dani pinched her lips together in a frustrated expression. “Like just now, in the hot spring. You offered to help Morgana get bigger boobs, even though her transformation is going to wear off in a day!” Dani pointed out. “And then there’s what happened before, offering to pay for Carly’s Stream Donations, all the other investments you’ve made…”

Vivian held up her hands in surrender. “You got me, I’m a little loose with my money,” she admitted with a laugh. “It’s hard to adjust to this economy. But I get what you mean. I don’t have my financial resources here on the island, so I’m a little in the red right now, but…”

No, she didn’t get it. She was saying she got it, but at this point, Dani wasn’t sure if she was even lying or if she genuinely didn’t see the problem.

“Vivian, you don’t need to throw money around to get people to like you!” Dani blurted out, finally cutting to the chase.

Hissing steam from the sauna filled the silence between the two of them as Vivian gazed into Dani’s firm stare.

Then the heiress laughed.

“Dani… no, that’s not it at all,” she said gently. “I’m not… it’s not what you’re thinking. I’m not throwing my money around to get people to like me, it’s just a way I can help my friends, that’s all!” Vivian assured her. “Part of being a good friend is helping out people who need it, and when you’re me, well, I can help out a lot, so-”

“Then why are you so lonely?” Dani snapped.

Vivian couldn’t mask her flinch this time.

“Huh? No, I’m not lonely,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “Come on, I’ve got my best gal right here, don’t I?”

Dani didn’t respond to the playful sock in the arm Vivian gave her. As much as it hurt giving the heiress the cold shoulder, she couldn’t endorse this behavior.

Not if she wanted actually consider herself Vivian’s friend.

“…This is exactly what I’ve been trying to say,” Dani said gently. “Vivian, you’re overwhelming. I take you out on a nice spa day, you offer to fly me around the world. Emmy is sweet to you, and you say you’ll buy her a castle. It’s too much!”

Vivian squirmed in her seat. “It… it wasn’t going to be a big castle,” she mumbled. “And what’s the problem, anyway? It’s just being nice! Being nice to your friends-”

“Do you want to know what I want, as your friend?” Dani interrupted her with a sharp look.

Vivian sat up straight, nodding swiftly before she even knew what she was doing.

“What I want… is for you to not be so rich.”

Dani winced as the words left her mouth. That came out sounding worse than she’d meant it. The way Vivian deflated in front of her didn’t help, either.

“…I can’t help that…” Vivian mumbled, finally looking away from her.

Seeing her like that, so small and fragile, made Dani’s heart want to tear itself in half. But she pushed through those feelings and held her ground. She reached out and took Vivian by the shoulders, and turned her back to face her again.

“That isn’t how I meant it,” Dani said. “It’s just… all your money… it’s an imbalance in our relationship. And you do NOT handle it well. If every time I do something nice for you as a friend you respond with some grand gesture I can’t even dream of paying back… it’s messed up, Vivian! I know you’re just being nice, because you’re a sweet person, but think of the pressure that puts on the other person, okay?”

Vivian stared at Dani, her mouth open in shock. She didn’t know where to begin when it came to the other girl’s statement. The idea that doing a nice thing for someone else could be a problem… how did that work?!

“Let’s say you fly me to a bunch of museums,” Dani said, returning to Vivian’s original offer. “That would probably be one of the best moments of my life. But when it’s done, well… how do I show you my appreciation?”

“By being my friend!” Vivian blurted out. “I’m not doing all this so you’ll owe me or something, I just-”

“You just want to do something nice for your friend, yes, I totally understand,” Dani said, nodding. “But Vivian, we barely know each other. It’s like… …Okay, this is the first time I’ve ever thought of this in the context of a platonic relationship, but have you ever heard of the phrase ‘coming on too strong’?”

Vivian stared blankly at Dani and slowly nodded.

“…Well, it’s that. Basically.”

Dani could empathize with the other girl. She could understand how Vivian had gotten tangled up in this complicated web of emotions where giving fancy gifts to casual acquaintances and new friends seemed perfectly normal to her, particularly when it meant almost nothing to someone of her resources.

But as the person on the receiving end? It was really fucking overwhelming! Dani was a pretty frugal person at heart, she didn’t need a lot to be content. She was more fulfilled now than she had been in years, just because she had people who she was close to again, she had friends, a lover, a sense of belonging.

Vivian was trying to get that too, only she had a couple billion dollars in the bank to fall back on, and it was making everything way more complicated.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s how I can get her to understand.

“Vivian, we’re friends, right?” Dani said, letting go of the heiress.

“I already told you, obviously!” Vivian said enthusiastically.

Dani nodded.

“And as my friend, you want to do nice things for me, because you like it when your friends are happy, right?” Dani asked.

Vivian nodded again. “Yeah. I get it can be a little overwhelming, I guess, but it’s not like I’m asking anything in return!”

She wasn’t, that was the sad part. Vivian was shoveling money at her friends because she wanted to, and didn’t even see the transactional side of things.

“Well… I also like it when my friends are happy,” Dani pointed out. “So how can I make you happy, Vivian?”

Vivian blinked. Again, she’d never really thought in those terms.

“Uh…”

“A big museum trip would make me happy,” Dani said, giving her a gentle smile, “so how do I make you happy back?”

If her instincts were right, Vivian was content just having friends. Having all the money in the world and then some, the idea of what a friend could do for her instead of the opposite had likely never occurred to the heiress.

The dumbfounded look on her face seemed to confirm Dani’s suspicions.

“What about with Nick?” Dani coaxed her next, catching Vivian’s attention. “You’ve been trying this same stuff with Nick, right? Trying to… not bribe him, but trying to show him the benefits of being your lover, isn’t that right?”

Vivian was lucky that her face was so red from the steam, because Dani wouldn’t be able to tell she was blushing. “It’s just… the logical decision,” she mumbled. “He has a lot of women to take care of, and I can help him with that.”

Yup, that sounded like the kind of logic Vivian would come up with.

“And maybe he wants to do something nice for you,” Dani suggested. “But if you make everything a transaction between the two of you… how is he ever supposed to do enough to pay you back?”

She was pretty sure there were other issues in Vivian’s relationship with Nick, but those were a lot harder to fix. This one…

“…I don’t know?” Vivian admitted shakily. It wasn’t something that came easy to her. “I don’t, I… I just want my friends to be happy, Dani!” She blurted out, her façade crumbling for a moment. “Is that so wrong?”

“No.” Dani shook her head. It wasn’t wrong at all. The problem was, the way Vivian went about doing it was causing a lot of headaches and feelings of obligation. And it didn’t help either that her general playful, teasing attitude caused people to suspect ulterior motives.

To Dani’s surprise, the heiress was actually quite a pure young lady.

…In other words, a pain in the ass. And Dani had just volunteered herself to be her helper. What a mess.