Not what they want, but still help out their self esteem!

"Hey, you guys, I'm not gonna do sex stuff with you right now."

Chester and Alex both are about to object, but you cut them off.

"But! Only because you said that you feel like sex stuff is the only useful thing you can do. That's not true at all!" You straighten up your sitting position, and lift them from your lap to eye level. "You guys and me are gonna all be great friends, and that starts with me showing you all of the other ways you can be awesome!"

.......Like what?

"Like...." You dart your head around the room for quick inspiration, settling on one of your many Warrior-based poster decorations. "Like talking about how cool Warriors are! Or helping out with my schoolwork! Or talking about my other friends and classmates! Or all of us making a band together! There's tons of stuff, you guys just need to not be so down on yourselves!"

Well, what should we do for tonight until you can sleep, then?

You stop talking out of the side of your mouth to consider what your friend just said. Hmmm.....

"I could tell you guys some of the funny answers from Family Feud?"

Yeah, okay!

And then I can tell you both some of the coolest facts from The Chase!

You nod your head enthusiastically! You actually know all of the facts already, since you watched the compilations he's drawing from, but you listen politely when it's his turn anyway. He sneaks in some improvised and made up facts, which gets some big laughs from the rest of you -- stuff like "the sky is blue because..... uh..... um........ because of rain". He's so silly, but also really clever and funny. Very clever and funny.

Your Family Feud funny moments are a hit too, and before you know it, your eyes are closed and you're finally happily asleep in your bed. You're a really good friend, huh?