Not in the Slightest

Clasping her hands and rubbing them together, Peridot beamed with delight. "Wonderful! I have to say this research is taking an...interesting turn," she remarked, her visor fogging up slightly again. I wasn't sure why that kept happening when she got hot and bothered, but I liked it. It was a fun little touch. "First things first, John, I'll need you to disrobe."

Fair enough. I took my shirt off first, as you do. Peridot took out her recorder. "Subject has a curious lack of breasts," she noted. "Am I to take it this is not an abnormality, John?" She held the recorder in my direction. "Uh...no. This is the norm for males," I replied. Adjusting her visor, Peridot rubbed her chin. "Intriguing. Please continue disrobing..." Blinking, Peridot pulled her hand away from her chin. "...odd. I seem to be salivating."

"Uh...yeah. I'm feeling something too," Lapis noted. Peridot jumped at this, turning to her friend. "What? Please describe," she requested. Rubbing the back of her neck, Lapis shrugged. "W...well, there's a strange heat in me...and...uh...moisture...here." She gestured between her legs, clearly flustered and confused.

Lapis wasn't the only one. Peridot looked confused as well...and a little concerned. "I'm...experiencing much the same," the pint sized scientist remarked. "I..." And it was about that time that she noticed I had finished removing my clothes. "And now I'm feeling it a LOT more! John, I'm not sure if you're aware but your penis has gotten larger..." "Hell yeah it has," muttered Lapis, spell bound.

Sighing, I nodded. "Yes, Peridot, I noticed. It's supposed to do that," I informed her. "And...well...if you're interested, I can show you the purpose of it. It will require one of you to participate, however...and in an equal state of undress as me. So, who will it be?"

"Me!"

...of course, both of them had said it at the same time. I expected as much...just as much as the argument that followed. "I'm the scientist here, Lapis! I do the experimenting!" Peridot insisted. "If you do it, who takes the notes?" Lapis countered. "I mean, you think I can do it?" "Why not? It isn't hard." "Because I don't know all your science mumbo jumbo, that's why not!"

"Ladies, ladies!" I interrupted, wanting to prevent any fighting. "There's an easy way to decide this." They looked at me in annoyance, but also with an expectant expression. I took that to mean they wanted to hear my suggestion. Grabbing a quarter off a table. "We'll flip a coin for it. Hmm...Peri, heads or tails?"

The question puzzled her a bit, but she seemed to go with it. "Er...tails?" she offered. Tossing the coin up, I held out my palm for it to land in, smacking it down on the back of my other hand.