Not allowed to wear a wedding dress

"But mo-oommm!!" Carolyn whined to her mother.

"No 'buts', honey," her mother Jane tutted at her before concluding, "... well, maybe your butt!"

It was several days after Carolyn had announced her engagement to Brian. She was discussing the wedding planning with her parents when they insisted that she ditch the wedding dress and just tie the knot in her birthday suit. Carolyn already knew that they were each part of the 1 in 5 who thought she was a nudist (both of them - great odds!), but even so this was a lot for her to take in.

"Don't say that!" Carolyn snapped back at her mother for the inappropriate pun.

"I'm sorry, honey," Jane giggled a little, "but it's your most important day, and you need more than ever to just be your natural self."

"Yeah, it's my most important day!" Carolyn retorted, "that's why I can't have everyone looking at my private parts!"

"Honey," Jane countered, "you don't really have 'private' parts. You have such a nice free spirit."

"No I don't!" Carolyn had to stop herself from stamping her foot.

"Well, your father's say is final," Jane started to turn away to end the conversation, "he's not walking you down the aisle unless you're au naturel."

"But I've been looking at this dress from Kleinfeld's!"

"Yeah, but... that's not the real you, honey."

"Can I... can I at least have a veil?" Carolyn didn't feel like arguing.