No

In her rose garden, Ora was sucking on some penguin candy while looking over the latest review’s her amazing season has received.

All of them very positive. Obviously. Well, the ones that matter at least. Anyone who didn’t recognize her genius was a moron which opinion had to be declared as invalid.

That said, there was one particular review that caught her eye.

“Cherry! Cheeerry!”

“Ugh, what is it now, you shitty, little brat?”

“They reviewed it!”

“What?”

“Ora Part IV!”

“...what?”

“Clothes for likes!”

“Who did?”

“Who cares. Some chumps! We are going to review the review and put these chumps in their place!”

“Can’t you do this without me?”

“I mean yes, but I need someone to bounce my responses of. So, you’ll be the bouncer!”

“Haaa…”

REVIEWING THE REVIEW (BGM)

The two exit the kitchen. Daphne answers, “Wherever you’d like to do this and Clothes for Likes (Concluded), by somebody named Gambio!”

“No, no, no, let me make this very clear from the start. I wrote Clothes for likes. As in me, Ora, the beautiful, immaculate amazing Goddess! It was all me.”

“Good for you.”

“You know that means I created you.”

“uhu.”

“And your entire world.”

“Sure.”

“Everything you know and love!”

“Yep.”

“You should be grateful!”

“Right.”

“You know, Cherry. You really are bad at this “bouncing off” thing. You need to show more enthusiasm. More vigor!”

“ok.”

Daphne shrugs off the politeness thing, then agrees, “Yes, there seems to be a lot of ‘paragraphs’ consisting of one sentence that should be combined. Paragraphs are supposed to denote a consistent thought. Hitting the enter key to separate a consistent thought into 3 different paragraphs gives the writing a sporadic or discombobulated feeling.”

“ARE THESE TWO BRAINDEAD BIMBOS QUESTIONING MY GENIUS WRITING?”

“Isn’t that the whole point of this roast?”

“No, Cherry. The point is to shower me with praise! Obviously! Which they are not doing! WHY ARE THEY NOT PRAISING MY GENIUS?”

“So, you’re having a retort or are you just screaming?”

“Of course, I have a retort! I like my writing to be sharp and snappy! Only imbeciles and cowards let themselves be confined by what is commonly known as good writing! And what does a Mermaid even known of writing in the first place? You can’t read books underwater!”

“Cool. You still need me by the way? I have lots of more important stuff to do. Like staring at a wall.”

“No, I need you! Like..hm let’s see...aha!”

“I was thinking more about the chest binder. C-cups,” Daphne notes, while lifting up her C-cup breasts, “aren’t actually that big, as far as egg sacs go. Why would you try to make them smaller? If anything, shouldn’t you want them bigger? Show off your suitability to spawn many mermaid children and not just two?”

“That’s a question for you, Cherry! Why do you bind your huge boobs?”

“Haa…”

“Answer the question!”

“I was young, didn’t want to come across as a cheerleader bimbo.”

“Oh myyyyy, I think that is what is called going through a Hipster phase. How embarrassing!”

“Shut up. Didn’t you write me? This is on you.”

“Actually my characters all develop organically. I’m a benevolent goddess, so I usually don’t mess with their free will.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Well, even if I would do it, it would be in a way that you don’t notice it, so it’s best not to worry about it.”

“Uhu. I expelled all my existential dread a long time ago, so whatever you say.”

“Meaning all that weird stuff you’re into is on you.”

“Get on with the review already!”

Skye shakes her head, “Anna gets made half decent by the audience. She is kind of cute. Also, Mrs./Ms./Mr. Gambio has difficulty understanding when and when not to use the letter ‘h’. There has already been a ‘heath’ instead of ‘heat’ and a ‘tight’ instead of ‘thighs.’”

“That is a most fair criticism. Gambio should really work on it’s grammar. It’s pathetic!”

“Oh, NOW it’s suddenly Gambio’s fault, huh?”

“Hm, from here on they are basically just summarizing the story in a slightly snarky way. Not very reviewie.”

“I wished I could have gone through the cliff notes version of that day.”

Hi, Gina! Do you like me yet? I’m doing a good job with this review, right?”

“Why is this foolish mermaid so obsessed with Gina? Gina sucks! I didn’t even create her! Personally I am a big fan of Ben. But these two trollops don’t even bring him up!”

“Now that you mention it he looks kinda...”

“Then Ora and Gina argue about penguins versus sharks. Of course, the correct order is mermaids, then sharks, then penguins.

“I hate sharks! Penguins are much more awesome!”

“Meh, I prefer Squirrels.”

“Enough with your Squirrel fetish already!”

“Again, I am torn, Daphne. The same conundrum of how Ora is doing the right thing, removing indecency for charity in this case, for the wrong reasons, torturing this random girl. I see no reason why Cherry should be treated like this.

“This is a question I asked myself many times. The answer is, shitty little brat.”

“Oh quit your grumbling. You got off easy in comparison to my other toys. You should have seen what I put Mari through. Hah!”

Token male student council minister probably dies.”

“And nothing of value was lost,” Skye notes.

“He survived. Unfortunately.”

“You really have it out for him, huh Cherry? Maybe I should have made him the master instead of Ashley. And make you join the harem!”

“Make me a contestant. See what happens. Make.My.Day.”

“Eep.”

“TITS have some cockamamie scheme to conquer Marcie, the fools, and they are apparently dudes from the previous story?

“Gambio has already adressed that but since I am the author I will give a lenghtier and thus better explanation. The Tyrants in the School Subjugation Squad or Tits for short is a group that first rose to prominence during the tail end of the War of the Three Queens. They were a terrorist group that opposed the Empress Marcie and comitted many atrocities. However, they never amounted to much and were nearly destroyed after their leader got captured Later, during the Sapphic vs Sigma war, the remainder of Tits pledged their allegiance to the Sigmas and were eventually absorbed. But I haven’t written that part yet. Anyways, Marcus the leader of Tits was actually the leader of Sigma. When Sigma was destroyed during the even future historians would only refer to as the Queens Gambit he was **** to go underground. There, he managed to unite the various resistance cells against the empire and revive the Tits movement. But I haven't written that part either."

“I’m almost impressed you think anybody cares about that.”

“They ride a monorail to a mansion to meet Marcie.

“Is this supposed to be a poor attempt at alliteration? Pathetic! Also the stupid mermaid didn’t even mention the giant aquarium in the train. There were sharks in there!”

“Probably because at this point the story had officially jumped the shark.”

“Don’t try to imitate Marcie.It’s creepy!”

Zeebop betrays Cherry by ignoring her spam message for help.

“Yeah! What the actual fuck Zeebop!”

“Hah! Your fault for sounding like spam *cackle* *cackle*”

“Mrs./Ms./Mr. Gambio sure likes volleyball.”

“You mean land water polo?”

“Sure, Daphne. Our author made a giant rule set for it.

“Yes, I am quite impressive a! *cackle* *cackle* Given your own enjoyment of these silly dice games I am sure you would recognize my talent at coming up with fair and balanced rules."

The goddess cheats during it, adding an embarrassment meter with debilitating effects. That, plus some unlucky dice rolls, lead to the now supervised males to win again.

“Yeah, so much talent that you had to cheat.”

“I didn’t cheat! I won fair and square!”

“You added Preminger. With a chainsaw!”

Token male councilor takes Cherry home and discovers he has full body control of her, plus the ability to read her mind? I think that is an inconsistency, but who knows!

“There are no inconsistencies in my amazing stories. Michael could read Cherry’s thought because they were transmitted via the embarrasso-meter.”

“That name still sucks. And I don’t blame the two for not following this rambling fever dream. I checked out around this time too.”

Skye interjects, “Justice spankings for the mean goddess! Finally!”

“Yep.”

“DON’T LOOK SO SMUG ABOUT IT!”

Cherry has sex with Ora as a helicopter.

"Yes, I want to emphasize that this did indeed happen. I had sex. With Ora. As an helicopter."

“That was an incredible traumatic event for me. Getting turned into a coffee table is nothing by comparison! And also it was a gyrocopter! Can't these dumbos get anything right?"

Skye picks up the summary, “The goddess is given a Lorax costume and will be potentially mauled by the dire wolf Cherry tamed. But the website rules apparently are against it? I would argue that the goddess meeting her demise by wolf-mauling would have been perfectly cessive. Not excessive.”

“How rude!”

Then, more punishments and Cherry volunteers to continue serving Ora, which is stupid and insane!

“Yeah! Why exactly did you do that, Cherry? It’s super annoying to have you constantly hover around me!”

“Lots of reasons. I wanted to keep an eye on you. My life was pretty much ruined and I was just about to go completely insane. The real question is why the fuck you accepted.”

“Uh...next question!”

“I did not like this. This story was needlessly cruel. And it seemed that just about everyone in the story, with the exceptions of Cherry and Anna, are a bunch of sadist monsters.”

“Hmph. I was merely appealing to the horny perverts in the audience. Not my fault they all are sadists.”

“Tell me about it. The audience on Harem Hotel is much nicer then these freaks.”

“So, you are saying that Mrs./Ms./Mr. Gambio likes torturing innocent characters? Perhaps she/he should have to undergo a gauntlet of torment brought on by a spiteful, hateful goddess.”

“He already did.”

“Anyways, Anna is best girl. She navigated the game very well and I appreciate her clever, nerdy ways. Plus, big egg sacs are always appreciated. Worst girl, Katie. She nearly destroyed her friend for a prank and never got her comeuppance.”

“I’m very grateful for Anna. I wouldn’t have won without her.”

“Indeed, perhaps I should introduce her as a new contestant for my season?"

“Right. Because that went so well last time.”

“On second thought we do have enough annoying nerds as it is. Well, I think with that we can close that Answer Chapter. I think I efficiently dismantled that worthless criticism. Not that you helped much.”

“Yes, was a riot.”

“…”

“Are we done?”

“Hm, yes I suppose, we are more or less about to wrap things up.”

“Ok?”

“...”

“So, I can go?”

“Not yet.”

“What do you mean, not yet?”

“We need to properly close the review.”

“Sure.”

“…”

“Well? Do it already.”

“I don’t know what to say!”

“What!”

“Say something witty to close us off! Some clever joke or punch line that instills the reader with a sense of closure. Something that makes them say: now THAT was a brilliant way to end this. I am fully satisfied!"

“Just end this dumb review already.”

“It’s not a review. It’s an answer chapter!”

“I don’t care what it is, you shitty, little, brat!”

“Eep! We are still going! This is bad! This meandering rambling ruins my perfect, competent image! Do something!”

“Something.”

“I said do something not say something!”

“For fucks sake! This review is now over! Good knight!”

“THAT WASN’T WITTY AT ALL!”