No plan survives contact with Monkey D. Luffy

As soon as you landed in Nanohana Carue set of to Alubarna. Sure you planned on going there yourselves, too, but Carue would be so much faster alone.

As for yourself, you were disappointed to be proven right within less than a few hours.

Three hours before landing in Nanohana:

Nami, Sanji, Vivi and you were in the kitchen, while the rest of the crew was on deck, sleeping or locking at the nearing coast.

You started the conversation by revealing a map of Alabasta you had drawn.

Nami flinched as if struck.

“I know, I should have asked you to provide the map, but it'll do. Our ideal plan is to get supplies in Nanohana, here, sail over here, make our way through the dessert to Yuba”, you drew the route on the map with your finger, “And finally go to Alubarna, where we will rendezvous with Vivi's father as well as Carue, who'll go there directly, so the king is informed as quickly as possible. There we will help defend the capital against Crocodile's attempts to restart the civil war or kill the royal family, until the marines take him out.”

Vivi nodded with a grim expression on her face.

“Now for our actual plan”, you said and held out your hand to Nami, who gave you the map she had prepared.

You did your best to ignore the mixture of shook and hurt on Vivi's face and the visible conflict on Sanji's face as someone was causing Vivi grief, but the perpetrator being a woman herself.

“It would be suspiciously lucky, if Crocodile would just let us talk to the Rebels and enter Alubarna.

We KNOW that there are plants in both armies. We know, that Mr. 2 can impersonate the king and it stands to reason Khoza as well.

Then there is the factor Luffy: He will attack Crocodile the first chance he gets, we all know that and there is nothing that could change that. Assuming Luffy can beat him in a fair fight, we can assume, that Crocodile will not fight fair, involving the remaining agents and gang up on Luffy.

Then there's the fact, that we can't rely on Luffy NOT drawing the attention of absolutely everybody, who might want to prevent us from reaching Yuba or Alubarna.”

Sanji seemed to have resolved the conflict enough to speak up: “So, what do we do?”

“Primarily, we follow the original plan. The strategy is solid enough. If both Khoza and the king are warned they might be able to deescalate and smoke out the Baroque Works plants in their ranks. Worst case they can reduce the casualties or prepare for an attack by Crocodile and his agents.

What I want to plan for is the deviations. Vivi, what can you tell us about the agents we haven't met yet?”

“Hmm, I'm not sure about most of them. I guess it's fair to say, that I can disregard all agents rank 10 and lower. Those guys can be considered the same way as the Billions.

That means first we have 7 and Father's Day. The two are a pair of snipers, who use combustive ammunition they can detonate in mid air by lining their shots up, so they collide at just the right point.

Then there's 6 and Mother's Day. Similar deal to Igaram and Monday, but reversed; She uses throwing knives, he wields two bucklers like brass knuckles.

I don't suppose we'll be seeing 5 and Valentine again.

That means 4 and Merry Christmas … So Mr 4 is a baseball player … or a golfer. I heard conflicting reports. What I know for sure is that he walks and talks very slowly, but is extremely strong and fights by batting explosive balls at his enemies.

Ms Merry Christmas is nearly the opposite: Very fast, both verbally and when moving. She uses a Zoan fruit that enhances her mobility, though I'm not sure what animal. All I know is that she can use large claws to devastating effect, but that doesn't really narrow it down, does it?”

“Wait a second!”, you interrupted her, “Did you forget about Mr 4's Devil Fruit?”

“Hmm? Oh no, one of the things I know, is that he doesn't have one. Or at least he doesn't use one. He fights using only his obscene strength. From what I heard they are stronger than the 3 pair, but because Mr 3 acts more tactically and is capable of working more covertly, they got bumped down to 4.

So … Mr 2. No partner. Infiltration expert, okama, shapeshifter, … I don't really know anything, that could help us.”

“What about your sixth sense?”, Sanji asked you.

“Okay the obvious first: He's strong as hell. The entire time I could observe him he was holding dynamic tension throughout his entire body. When I mentioned 'Okama Kenpo' I was half joking, but he graciously confirmed, that that is his fighting style. From what my father told me it's based on ballet heavily accentuating mobility and kicks. As long as we are not stupid enough to fall for his Devil Fruit”, you glared at Sanji.

“What?”

“If I put a mask on Zoro, that makes him look like Vivi, would you hit him?”

“Wha … What are you talking about?”, he stuttered.

You kept glaring at him: “If you see through his ruse, you have to exploit his opening at full power! Kick his face into the dirt, that the bedrock shakes.”

“I know, why do you keep staring at me?”

The others had joined me in glaring at our chivalrous pervert.

“Sanji, if Mr 2 looks like me or Yuri, that means, that he beat us up. Do not hold back!”

“Stop it already! I'll beat Mr 2 no problem!”

“Okay, back on topic: What can you tell us about 1 and 0?”, Nami stopped us.

“Getting info on Mr 1 and Ms Doublefinger was even harder than finding out that Mr 0 is Crocodile, if you'll believe it! I have no idea what either of them look like. When they are working with Millions, not even they know, who it is they're working with. All I can tell you is the aftermath of their fights: One of them makes holes. Perfectly round and very deep any where from a thick as a finger and as thick as a leg. Igaram once had to make some bodies vanish. Sixteen people. All died without him even hearing the fight, stabbed through the head, the heart or with a line of five holes spread across their chest.

And I got to clean up after Mr 1. Intuitively I'd have said he's a master swordsman. His victims were literally cut to pieces, as in I used a shovel to put them in a wheelbarrow and dumped it into the ocean as chump, that the fish ate in minutes. The thing is, nobody in the group had a sword, so either he did that with a hidden blade, or he used a Devil Fruit, though no idea what.”

You stroked you chin: “Did any of his victims have a sword?”

“Yes … a number of swords were there in cut of hands … you think, he killed them with their own swords?”

“No, I think that if the swords were intact, that he can't cut steel.”

“ … That makes sense! That's good news. Zoro can fight him!”

“Don't get too excited. First tell us about Crocodile and his right hand.”

“Of course. As a warlord his Devil Fruit isn't exactly a secret, though you'd be surprised how many pirates show up to try and challenge him without knowing about it: He has the Suna-Suna no Mi, making him a sand person. He can turn his body into sand to avoid attacks and manipulate it to attack himself. Then there is the matter of his right hand. If he touches something with his right hand, he can use his Devil Fruit, to drain all water from it, until it turns to sand itself. An instant **** attack!

Now that I think about it, I don't know how he's supposed to be beaten, especially with that turning to sand technique.”

Nami started to hold onto Vivi, as she noticed the signs of an on setting panic attack.

“Vivi, I can sense any attack almost a second in advance.”

“What?”

“I can tell, what an enemy is trying to do, long before he moves a muscle. I can react, before he even acts. For all intents and purposes, I should be invincible.”

“But you're nowhere close to invincible. Zoro can whoop your ass, without even getting up. I once even saw Nami beat you in a spar!”

“EXACTLY!”, Nami, Sanji and you exclaimed.

“What?”

“They can beat me, because they know my weaknesses. Zoro knows, he'll never get past my defense with fancy techniques. So instead he just throws so many strikes at me, that it's physically impossible for me to dodge them and as soon as I block one he's got me.

Nami can't overpower me ... as easily, but she knows, that she has way more endurance than me, so all she has to do is prevent herself from going down, before I'm exhausted. As soon as I slow down, I get to kiss her staff.

With Crocodile it's the same. We know, that he can avoid an attack, by turning into sand. So all we have to do is avoid him, until we figure out a way around it.

Maybe it's a conscious move, so if he doesn't see a strike coming he has to take it like everybody else. Maybe there is a way to circumvent it.

Worst case we need seastone. But what I can say with certainty, is that he is not invincible.

Now, his partner. Nico Robin. We have reason to believe, that she is only as loyal to him as he is able to control her. After all from what we can tell her offer for us to take a short cut to Alabasta appears to have been earnest and honest.

In case we still have to fight her, here's what I gathered from our short interaction: While she mostly uses her Devil Fruit, she is physically strong, or at least stronger than the average woman of her size. Similar ballpark as Nami.

The crux is her Devil Fruit. From what I could tell it allows her to use her hands anywhere in a certain radius around herself. I could have sworn I felt either soft skin or flower petals, when I caught her trying to grab my knife. Seeing as Alabasta is mostly desert the latter should stick out, so beware if you see something like that. A potential weakness is, that since her using her power felt like her using her normal limbs, you can probably injure her actual body, if you attack the things she creates with her power.”

“So that's what we're up against”, Nami said grimly, “What is the battle plan?”

“The key to winning is controlling who goes up against whom”, You started, “If Luffy went against Mr 1, he'd be cut to ribbons, because his main defense is his rubber body, however both Zoro and I should be able to hold him off, until we can find an opening. On the other side Zoro has a hard time applying any technique that isn't cutting, so he would only tire himself out, if he was confronted with Crocodile.

The best case scenario would of course be, if the remaining agents confronted us one after the other, while the worst case would be if we were split up, when they all ambush us all at once.

So here's my strategy: Number one: We stay together.

Number two: When we DO split up, we do so with a plan so we can rearrange who meets up with whom. This means planning the routes we take and nobody going out alone or without telling anyone.

Starting from the bottom: I don't think 6 or 7 would be an issue for any one of us, unless they somehow manage to catch us off guard. Similarly, unless we run into all the Billions at once, I don't think they'd be much of a problem either.

Now 4. From what Vivi told us, I'm assuming they prefer to keep their enemies at a medium range and pelt them with explosives, with Merry Christmas mainly working to scare enemies away rather than actually fighting them. Luffy, Sanji and Zoro can probably just tank those explosive balls and overpower them and I'm confident I could dodge and weave to get close.

However Usopp can probably out-range Mr 4 and Chopper should have more experience than Merry Christmas with Zoan combat. Then he can also blindside the two of them with his rumble balls.

Mr 2 is dangerous. Really dangerous. I think I could keep him occupied for a short time, but not long and I definitely wouldn't win. If he couldn't disguise himself as Nami, I'd say Sanji, or Luffy of course, is best suited to take him on.

Since we have no real measure of how strong the 1 team actually is, they are the hardest to plan for. All I can say, that letting Luffy at them would get him killed. He's that kind of stubborn, where he'd just try to break through their defense of blades and spikes.

Since we can assume that Mr 1 can't cut steel anybody who is not proficient in using a steel weapon should avoid him … that's only Zoro and I”, you showed the knife, by twirling it around your finger like Vivi her Peacock-slashers, “And I might be at a disadvantage.”

“As for Ms Doublefinger”, you continued, “She's actually making it rather easy for us. The wounds Vivi described sound like a lance, however we can assume, that her Devil Fruit merely allows her to turn her limbs into long spikes. Now with a Devil Fruit I wouldn't rely on a shield, but it's not like any one of us is using one anyway.

However we have three people who can potentially out-range her: Usopp, Nami and Zoro. Though of course Zoro'll probably busy with Mr 1.”

“You want me to take on one of the top agents!? On my own!?”, Nami screeched in panic.

You took a hold of your girlfriend to calm her down.

“I don't want you to, I'm just saying you could.”

“But during sparring you almost always kick my ass!”

“And yet you can take me down in a single hit. I won't deny: Doublefinger will not be a push-over, but at her core her ability relies on her getting the drop on her enemies. As long as you don't lose track of her and read her movement like I taught you, she won't lay a finger on you. And every time she tries, you can retaliate with your staff to her face.

She won't go down in one hit. Or in five for that matter. But every time you hit her head she'll get slightly concussed, or at worst angry. Which will make landing the next hit easier. And at some point that trauma will add up to a point, where she will stay down.”

Nami sighed as if you had just told her it was her turn to mop the deck.

“I have been talking to Usopp about making me a stronger weapon.”

“Not a bad idea. As soon as it's done come to me. I want you to be familiar with it, before you actually try and use it in a real fight.”

“What about Crocodile?”, Sanji asked before you could declare the meeting finished.

“Well, … We all know, we can't stop Luffy from fighting him. I'm assuming I won't be able to get my hands on a Seastone weapon before that. I have however four approaches, that might be able to inflict damage to Crocodile. Number one the simplest, and least likely to work: Overwhelm him. Chances are, that he has to turn into sand consciously. However if that works then Crocodile is either REALLY hard to overwhelm or those who tried to kill him so far are REALLY bad fighters.

Number two would be problematic: Fishman Karate does not rely on direct contact. It might be able to bypass his defense. Problem one. Deserts are usually very arid and Crocodile's sand form presumably is too, making techniques based on water harder to pull of.

Problem two is that Luffy is still very bad at Fishman Karate. So far I managed to sort of teach him a single strike and let's just say his technique can be improved.

Approach number three: Countering the fruit itself. The same way rubber can be cut, I think it should be possible to do something to Crocodile's sand, that weakens him. Using heat to turn it into glass, acid to dissolve it or water to bind it. I'm most confident that this would work, but it's also very hard to pull of. After all, if water works, than his right hand allows him to instantly negate that weakness again.

And lastly something purely theoretical: I mentioned, how I believe my sixth sense to be learn-able skill, because all noteworthy Grand-Line pirates could use it as well and didn't even comment to much on me.

If Logias were so complicated to even attack, than more of the big names would be Logias. Instead the marine admirals are the exception, not the rule.

This lead me to believe, that there is a skill, similar to my sixth sense, that allows the practioner to attack any enemy regardless of Devil Fruit.

With that ability so far being purely speculative, training isn't really doing too much progress.”, you explained.

“The plan, if you must call it that is for me to stealthily find out what works and tell Luffy, so he can whoop Crocodile's ass, before he realizes, what he's in for. Because as much as I like Luffy and know that he's strong: If Crocodile really is in the same weight class as Mihawk, Crocodile better severly underestimate Luffy for the first few rounds, or else it's going to be much closer than I'd like”, I closed.

Flashback end

In Nanohana the plan got derailed to your advantage. Luffy met his brother.

While this meant the marines and the Billions were trying to kill you, Luffy's brother turned out to be Firefist Ace, Commander of the second division of the Whitebeard fleet.

He took care of both Smoker as well as the ships of the Billions, that tried to sink the Merry.

And he agreed to accompany you all to Yuba.

And he confirmed your theories.

During the trek to Yuba:

“Your Haki is really advanced. Especially for someone this early into the Grand-Line!”, he praised you after what Vivi had decreed your last sparring session on account of the trek through the dessert. You had a hard time arguing, since the very point of the desert was, that you'd have to save your strength and ressources.

“Is that, what it's called? I guess I'm just naturally really talented, but sadly I was REALLY lazy, when I was a kid, or I'd be a lot stronger now.”

“With that level of technique, I'm not sure how much stronger I'd like you to get! Good thing you're hardening is basically nonexistent, or you might have actually landed a few hits there”, Luffy's brother joked.

“What's hardening?”

“What do you mean 'What's hardening'? I could feel you trying to use your Haki to attack even if you really suck at it!”, he exclaimed in surprise.

“Yeah, I was testing if it would be a viable way to attack Crocodile. I had no idea, whether something like that would work. You're saying I was on the right track?”

He looked at me thoughtfully for a second. Then he explained: “Technically, yes. You can use your Haki to enhance your body and the resulting attacks can harm a logia user. But it's more complicated. Throw a slow punch at my stomach so I can demonstrate.”

As I did his stomach turned into fire and the flames parted around my fist allowing me to punch slowly without so much as feeling heat.

“Even if you had coated your fist in Haki, this punch would have done nothing, because a logia can dodge not just passively by allowing their body to turn into their element on contact, but also actively by doing it BEFORE the attack connects and moving in my case the fire out of the path of the attack. With your level of observation you could counter that … if you were significantly faster.”

“Well … shit. I don't think we can teach Luffy enough Haki in time for when he'll fight Crocodile himself. What about an elemental counter?”

Ace gave me a bemused smirk: “What do you mean?”

“Well Haki or no, everyone, who can land the hit could cut Luffy. That scuffle between Smoker and you looked almost like a fight, even though I'm sure he doesn't know any Haki and you should be way out of his league.

My guess is, that any Devil Fruit comes with some kind of elemental weakness: Smoke suffocates flames, so Smoker can take your attacks, rubber can be cut, especially when it's stretched.

So what I'd like to find out, preferably before actually meeting him, is if I could neuter Crocodile's sand powers in some way, like making him wet, so he's sticky and can't dodge or maybe heating him up, so he'll turn to glass.”

“Damn, with you on the team Luffy could punch WAY above his weight class … if he'd actually let you train him. Yes, most Devil Fruits come with some kind of weakness, though for quite a lot it's way easier to just learn Haki, since you need that anyway. I have no idea, if what you described would work, but what I can guarantee you, is that one, he'll almost certainly will try and avoid any attack, that he thinks could hurt him, and two he is definitely aware of whatever weakness is easiest to exploit.”

Before I could quiz him further to get more tips on Haki and Devil Fruits in general out of him, Zoro approached: “Did I get that right: You can do that thing Yuri does, where she reads your moves?”

“Yes …”

“Can you tell me, how she cut that one guys sword?”

“She did? I wasn't really paying attention to her. I only saw, that she didn't need help so I focused on the other guys. Why are you asking me about it, instead of her?”

“She's supposed to be training under me!”

“I'm standing right here! Also, why are you acting like I was using some secret technique? You were taught by Shimotsuki Koushiro. I can't imagine, that you couldn't have done it yourself.”

“You cut that sword with your shitty little knife. You're right, I could have cut that sword, too, but in my case I would have relied on raw strength and my swords being way higher quality. If I could do it, the way you did it, I could cut steel like butter.”

“Okay, first of all, that wasn't my knife”, I said twirling the dagger Nami had gifted me around my finger, “Second you make it sound like I got clean trough, when in fact that knife got stuck …”

Zoro slapped me.

“I saw, what happened. You cut more than a centimeter as if there was no resistance, then you knocked out that other guy. If you had stayed focused a split-second longer, you would've cut that sword in two.

You struggle to rip cloth, so you were not using any strength whatsoever.

How did you do it? And you better not give me some cryptic bullshit like the old man did!”

“What did Shimotsuki Koushiro tell you?”

“Something about cutting nothing to cut everything.”

I huffed.

“And that was to cryptic for you? Shit that's ten times better than any explanation I could have given you … But I do think I could give an exercise, that might help … We need a perfectly round stick and a marker!”

Lucky for us Usopp was carrying both, along with a whole load of junk like two pans with missing handles. Before Vivi and Nami could berate him for that obvious waste he managed to appease them, be reminding them, that he wasn't offloading any of it to anybody else.

I drew a straight line along the length of the stick, leaving one end free. I held that end towards Zoro: “This is your new training sword. This is the handle, the line is the blade.”

“Not cutting anything will be a breeze”, he said as he reached for it, no doubt to whack me with it.

I pulled it away: “Not with your eyes open! We can make it two exercises at once. I give it to you, while you have your eyes closed, and you try to hit Luffy. Only the 'edge' counts for a hit.”

“So I'll learn this Haki nonsense as well! Good thinking, though I'm not sure how this'll help me cut steel.”

I turned the stick, so the “blade” was pointing sideways and gave it to the swordsman, who had dutifully closed his eyes. By ear he found our moron of a captain, who was threatening our food supplies with the subtlety of a warehouse fire.

WHACK!

“Easy”, Zoro declared.

“No hit!”, I declared in return.

He opened his eyes in offense: “What are you talking about? I hit Luffy square on the head”

He pointed on the grinning rubber boy, who didn't even question it.

“Look at your weapon.”

“What the hell? Did you turn it, before you gave it to me?”

“Of course.”

“How the hell am I supposed to align the edge? The stick is round and the edge a line from a marker!”

“Exactly. If you want to cut anything, you can't be limited by what your senses tell you. I hope you won't need the stress I had, when I figured it out. I had confronted a bandit called Lupi “Robber-Baron” Jezek. He was wearing a full body metal armor. I tried everything, that didn't involve piercing the armor; tying him up, tripping him, hitting him with a torch, to **** him to take it off; until I was exhausted and had nothing but my knife left.

I had the choice: figure out how to cut through steel or get beaten to ****. As you can tell, I'm still kicking.”

Zoro looked at me with astonishment: “He was pretty much the only bounty I never went after for exactly that reason! All I can do is cutting and you have all these tricks for when cutting won't work and you're still better than I am!”

“Guess you can't wait for us to reach Yuba, so we can have another sparring session. After all, you're pride as a swordsman is on the line.”

“You're no swordswoman”, he grinned, “So far the only one better than me is Mihawk”, he said as if the technicality was the only reason neither of us considered me to be the superior fighter.

And so each evening, when we made camp Zoro would cover his eyes and flail the stick around in an attempt to hit Luffy with the “edge” while I tried to punch Ace' shoulder.

Flashback end

__

The way through the desert was … fun. The good news was, that you met a chivalrous camel called Eyelashes, that let you, Nami and Vivi (or rather any two of you at a time) ride on it.

That was all the good news. Between hallucinogenic cacti, huge man-eating lizards and birds that attempted to rob you, the crew was really glad, that you had interrogated Vivi so thoroughly.

Upon reaching Yuba Vivi was hit with devastating news: Not only was the growing city being buried by waves of sandstorms leaving no trace of the oasis at it's hard leaving a malnourished man to dig for it, but it was also deserted. Not just the common folk had fled the devastation of the encroaching desert, but the revolutionaries had left as well. To prepare for the their final attack they had moved to a city that was closer to the capital.

After Tonjit managed to at least talking her into staying the night, I heard a knock on the door just as Nami and I were debating on how exactly we would use the fact, that we for once had a proper bed.

“It's Vivi”, I informed my girlfriend.

“Do we have to let her in?”, she whined, as I got up to console our friend.

“She needs us”, I said what we both knew.

When I opened the door however Vivi didn't look like she needed comforting.

“So what's the plan now?”, she asked.

“What plan?”

She sighed: “The original plan had been, that I'm talking Khoza down right now. You were the one who warned me back before we landed at Nanohana, that I couldn't expect the plan to work.

So, what's the plan now?”

You thought for a moment. Of course you had gone over it in your head as soon as Yuba had come into view. You just hoped, that you had somehow overlooked a good option.

“Okay first off splitting up is a risk we can't take. The odds that Crocodile can catch us one at a time are to great.

That means, we still have to commit to a strategy that keeps all of us together.

The way I see it, there are three we could go for:

We could go for Katorea and hope we catch up to the rebels, before they make their move on the capitol.

I don't like this plan one bit. It puts us closer to Nanohana, where we know a bunch of Billions are, while Rainbase is at our back and we have to cross a lot of desert and the Sandora River. All that with a big chance, that we just end up missing the rebels and have to go after them through the dessert to Alubarna. And we have to assume, that they will take all the supplies Katorea can spare, meaning we will have to make it with barely any food and water.

Option two is going for Alubarna right away. We should get there well before the rebels. This would give us time to try and smoke out the Baroques Works infiltrators in the royal army and then you could meet Khoza when he comes.

But it also pretty much guaranties, that Crocodile figures out where we are, and I'd rather not get ambushed by him and his assassins in a densely populated city, that is not yet evacuated.

The last option is doing it the way Luffy wants to: We're already close to Rainbase. The situation can not get under control, as long as Crocodile is walking around anyway and since his plan is entirely centered on him those Baroque agents will be a lot less dangerous without him around to give new orders.

The disadvantages are, that we don't know, who, other than Nico Robin, he has at Rainbase, though it stands to reason, that since he wants to keep his identity secret for as long as possible, he keeps the officer agents away and only has a few Billions or Millions acting as security for his casino.

And of course there is the issue of actually defeating him. I have some ideas of how to fight him, but I obviously had no opportunity to test them yet. Ideally We get to 100% blindside Crocodile with the fact, that we can hurt him to the point where we can take him out, before he can properly fight back.

In short our options are 1: Try to stall the civil war until the marines take out Crocodile for us.

2: Try to reduce harm by preparing for the civil war.

Or 3: Try to stop the entire plot at its root ourselves.”

“You're trying to make it look like such an obvious decision, when it's not!”, Vivi screamed, as tears started welling in her eyes, “You pretend, like going after Crocodile is the least risky, most effective strategy. The only one, that would allow us to save all of my people!”

It took you a second to understand where she was going. When you did you hugged her pressing her face into your shoulder to stop her from continue talking.

“Listen, princess, I haven't known you for long, but damn well long enough to know, what you are about to say. And even if I love you, I don't have the strength to tell you to your face, what you still haven't accepted yet.

I will hold onto you, until Nami has brought Luffy here.”

As Nami went past us she shot me an angry look.

Nami: 100/100

But it seemed, that she too understood, that what was coming was necessary. You didn't dare look at Vivi's score right now.

“What the hell? Yuri, Vivi, why did Nami drag me here? I was helping the old man digging!”

You let go Vivi enough so she could talk again: “Princess, please explain Luffy, why you don't want us to go after Crocodile.”

As Luffy gave her a questioning look, you could feel Vivi halfheartedly attempting to free herself from your embrace.

Finally she cried out: “You will get hurt! You'd be lucky if all of you get away with your lives!”

Luffy cocked his head with that same un-understanding look: “And? You say that like that was a point. I don't see what that has to do with you not wanting me to kick Croco's ass.”

Vivi was stunned by his brazen declaration. When she caught herself again she shouted at Luffy: “Maybe you don't care whether you live or die, but ...”

Luffy cut her off, before she could finish: “What are you talking about? Of course I care if I live. I can't become the Pirate King, if I'm dead.”

By now Vivi was in tears: “Then why would you just throw your lives away like that?”

You decided, that if you were still hugging her, you could as well partake in the conversation: “If we don't go after Crocodile ourselves now, what will happen?”

She tried to respond about how she could talk down the rebels, but was stopped by Luffy with the necessary brutal honesty you were to cowardly to wield against the princess.

“That's bullshit. Even if we get there in time. Even if we stop them. Croco-guy will just kill your father and everyone in the city, if he has to.”

“But I at least have to try and save ...”

“As long as you try and save everyone, you won't be able to save anyone.”

By now the shouting seemed to have caught the attention off the others, who were now filing into the room, which was getting cramped.

“You expect me to just let these people die? Let YOU die?”

This time it was chopper, who spoke up: “Vivi, I can't talk about letting us die, but I'm afraid you have to learn the worst lesson a doctor has to learn:

When I was with Doctorine, we never really had good access to supplies. Things like bandages we were always short on and in most situations we had to hope our patients had something there we could use.

The worst of it however was after Blackbeard attacked. Now we were not only short on supplies but even time. Wapol had taken his doctors and everything else he could carry with him after all.

First we had to make a decision to which town we would go, because chances were, that by the time we reached the ones on the other side of the island, we'd be to late.

And then, when we were there we had supplies to save 20 men to treat 200 patients.

The worst thing a doctor has to learn is triage. Deciding who to save and who to let die. Because if you do not make that decision yourself, you will waste your resources on the doomed, while the ones you could have saved die.

By not making that decision yourself, you let random chance make it for you. Or I guess in your case Crocodile, which is worse.”

The frank words by the usually shy reindeer quieted her down.

“But I can't ask you to risk your lives …”, she protested weakly, only being stopped from falling on her knees by you still holding her upright, which quickly started to strain your arms, shoulders and back.

She looked at each of us. While Sanji was twirling around her with heart-eyes the rest of you all had a grim expression on your faces.

Usopp, his knees shaking so hard it was a miracle he was standing, said, what the whole crew were thinking: “Crocodile fucked up, when he made you his enemy, because that means he's also our enemy! Nobody hurts our friends and can expect us to just stand by! Soon I Captain Usopp will teach him the meaning of fear!”

Well more or less what the crew was thinking.

You were barely in Rainbase, when Luffy and Usopp had ran ahead to get water and I pulled Vivi into an alley: “Did you forget about an agent during the meeting?”

“What are you talking about?”, she answered in a frightened tone looking left and as if she could make out, what got you on alert like that.

“Then who is that man-sized bird circling up above?”

“Man-sized ...”, her face showed recognition and by the way it lit up, the flier was no agent.

“How can you tell it's man-sized?”

“If it was normal sized it'd have to be much closer to look this big”, you answered simply, not bothering to explain angles and the reach of your haki to determine the distance.

“That's Pell! He is one of our guard captains. The strongest warrior of Alabasta. That has to mean, that Carue made it. We should meet up with him.”

“That's not a good idea”, Zoro grumbled out, but didn't elaborate, so Nami did instead: “All we'd do, if we tried to get his attention would be drawing their attention on him.”

“Their?”, Vivi questioned. Though she was naturally aware, that we were talking about Baroque Works agents, she had not yet taken the time to identify the Millions, who luckily had not yet noticed you.

“Leatherhat and Riding-boots”, Zoro grumbled indicating with his head the two men behind him, who were both wearing shirts with the Baroque Works Jolly Roger.

“Third window on the right”, Nami provided, where a figure was going through a stack of photographs, having through some miracle not yet realized, that they group with their cowls over their heads were BWs most wanted.

“And of course the greeters”, you finished, referring to the three sharply dressed men, that greeted any wealthy looking visitors, either directing them towards the casino or whispering into their sleeves, no doubt notifying their colleagues of a new mark to discreetly rob via baby snail.

“We're already surrounded!”, Vivi understood and you were glad to see, that Chopper despite being obviously scared didn't panic, simply stepping in place a few times in his Leg Point.

“How can you three be so calm about this?”, the princess asked.

“We're planning on kicking the hornet's nest anyway”, Zoro said with a shrug.

“On a more positive note”, I explained to calm both her and our reindeer doctor down, “This is one of the two places I'd expect to see officer agents, if any of them are in Rainbase, the other being the Rain Dinners itself. Of course most likely the only Baroque Works agents in there are most likely the man himself and Nico Robin, because it would be pretty easy to draw the right conclusion, if he did station anybody there.”

“Oh, that's a relief … Wait, who's Nico Robin?”, Chopper said.

“Oh right. You weren't there when we met her. She is Crocodile's right hand woman and I know her name thanks to my Devil Fruit.

And thanks to you, Vivi, I finally remember the story my dad told me about her bounty.”

“Me? What did I tell you, that has anything to do with Ms. All-Sunday?”

“Technically nothing. When we were a day from Yuba, you told us the story of the last Reverie you attended. How the World Nobles have contempt for your family, because you are technically one of them but chose not to ascend to Marijoa.”

“Yes, … And how does that relate to Nico Robin?”

“Vivi, could you tell us just what exactly happened, that lead to the formation of the World Government and a large number of royals deciding to just leave their countries behind to live on the Red Line?”

Vivi started to stutter and her open mouthed blushed made it clear, that she had a very good idea of the answer to your question, but also considered it information best kept secret.

“I don't actually expect an answer”, you cut her **** short, “What is relevant to us, is that Nico Robin can answer that question... or rather could. Because Nico Robin can read an ancient language in which records about among other things the foundation of the World Government were written. Records that people like my father were tasked by the World Government to ensure nobody would read.”

“Are you saying … ?”

“My guess: Your father is guarding some kind of national treasure Nico Robin wants to get a look at. She fully expects Crocodile to get rid of her, as soon as he no longer needs her and so she's trying to orchestrate for something to draw his attention. Do you think you could offer her what she wants, if she helps us?”

Vivi was still stumped with the first part of what you had said, when the inevitable happened: Luffy and Usopp were running towards us with a large number of marines in tow.

You split up in the ensuing chase, as to prevent Smoker from catching all of you at once.

After knocking out the men who were right on your heels and ditching your desert clothes and your cowl you had shaken off the marines and slowly made your way to Crocodile's casino. On your way you found Chopper and Sanji.

“So the good news: None of us are idiots. We can do this smartly.

The bad news: We have to assume that by now Luffy has run head first into an obvious trap and we have to save him and all who are with him”, you opened.

“That sounds about right”, Sanji said as he dragged on his cigarette, “What we need is get in there as soon as possible but before that we need to draw Crocodile out.”

“No matter how we draw him away, we can be sure that Crocodile will try to **** them”, you continue, frightening Chopper.

“Him”, Sanji said with a tone of absolute certainty.

“Sanji, now is not the time to…”

“That's not me being chivalrous, Yuri-san. It won't take long for Crocodile to recognize the distraction for what it is, so we have to make going back in too inconvenient for him to bother.”

“Destroying the bridge”, you nodded along, “But Chopper could do that, too”

“But Chopper can't swim back over the moat. He'd have to be carried and we don't know in what condition the others will be.”

“So far that sounds like I'll have to stay on this side…”

“Except that we both know what would happen, if Nico Robin is still there. You're the only one, who can keep her occupied. In fact if Crocodile leaves anything behind, that I can't resolve by kicking, I'll need your help.”

“Fuck … Nothing I can say against that. Chopper, do you understand what your part of the plan would be?”

The visibly scared reindeer gulped but put an a brave mask: “I will attack Crocodile and lead him away, so you two can…”

“Are you insane!”, you interrupted him, “What you are going to do is beat up a few Millions in your Heavy Point as loudly as possible and as soon as Crocodile comes through the door of the Rain Dinner, you run away and when you're out of sight you change into either Brain or Leg Point and do your best impression of a harmless non-sentient animal!

While he's out looking for a large man in classical Alabastan shirt Sanji will destroy the bridge so he'll have a harder time going back in and so he will instead decide to look for us in the city, but that's a bridge we'll cross when we get there.”

Crocodile's Den Den Mushi rang and he picked up.

“What is it?”

“Am I speaking to Mr. 0?”

“Who is this?”

“I'm calling regarding your reservation in the shitty restaurant.”

Sanji had told you about what he had said to the warlord on Little Garden.

“You don't sound like the one who I spoke to before.”

“Ever the perceptive one. You can call me Ms. Labor Day. Mr. Prince is currently occupied in discourse with your employees. I believe they won't be coming in tomorrow. I am merely supervising right now.”

“Mr. Prince and Ms. Labor Day. And here I thought I had all the Straw Hats in this here cage. Except for the reindeer mink of course.”

On your side of the line you raised an eyebrow. Sure Bon Clay had not been able to copy your face, but it seemed he also neglected to tell his boss about your existence.

A gunshot was heard. Very loudly, as if the weapon had been fired directly next to the receiver.

“Hm, it appears I'll have to cut our conversation short. It seems your employees insist on blockading Mr. Prince' way. So let me just confirm your reservation: You'd like an extra large Fuck You”, another gun shot, “served piping hot straight in your face?”

The warlord turned to his captives with an angry grin: “Seems like I will bring you your friends Prince and Labor Day over as company. Though once I get my hands on them, they won't be as lively as you lot are right now.”

Three seconds after Crocodile stormed into the street of Rainbase after a figure he believed to be responsible for the mass **** on his men right in front of his casino, Ms. All-Sunday, or Nico Robin as very few people knew her, was the first to see the collapsed bridge leading into the Rain Dinner and the only one seeing the figure fleeing inside.

Thanks to the commotion the civilians didn't notice the distressed princess fleeing from the casinos lower floor and also didn't notice her sudden delight at hearing a man in a suit speak: “So Ms. Labor Day, what do you think Ms. Wednesday has gotten herself into?”

As it turned out the other were locked in a cage together with Captain Smoker. While Sanji took out the giant crocodile, that had given Vivi trouble you made your way to the cage and examined the lock.

“This looks normal enough, where's your gear Nami?”

“What are you talking about I have it all on me!”

While Sanji went hunting for a key, that Crocodile had apparently dropped, you made a mistake: “Then why haven't you picked the lock yet?”

Nami: 96/100

“What are you talking about? Did you expect me to start fumbling with the lock when Crocodile was right there?!”

“No, I meant…”, before you could continue defending yourself, your haki alerted you to someone other than Sanji behind you, so you spun around and immediately delivered a full **** kick to Mr. 3's nose.

“Don't change the topic!”, Nami raged.

Chopper saved our asses.

Sure between Luffy, Zoro and Sanji the banana-crocodiles were a non-issue and thanks to my concussive persuasion Mr. 3 opened the cage with his wax powers in no time and there were enough swimmers there so nobody drowned.

But Chopper had found a friend of Eyelashes'. A giant “Moving Crab” that contrary to the camel had enough room on its back to carry all of you.

When your haki flared up, you gave Luffy the sign, you had agreed on back in Yuba, and leapt off of the crab.

While in the air, you spit on your left knuckle. Luffy prevented Crocodile from using his hook to grab Vivi and went after you.

Your first attacks were a kick and straight right and as expected Crocodile's body turned into sand with your attack doing absolutely nothing. You for your part leaped straight into the hole in the warlords torso and fired the attack that you actually expected to do any damage. When the spit on your knuckles made contact, you could feel the resistance. You applied what would amount to a one tile Fishman Karate punch straight where you expected his left heart chamber to be.

And before either of you could do anything else Luffy had already grabbed you and flung you straight in the path of the Moving Crab with Sanji catching you.

“Okay, water works. Let's just hope Luffy is smart enough to use it.”

“How do you know that?”, Vivi asked you.

“I just tested it! What do you think that was just now? I talked about this with Luffy back in Yuba. I would test what works and then sign him, to get me out as soon as I found something… How did you know?”

“Well, you were right. Nico Robin had Pell in a hold and preparing to break his neck, but as soon as I mentioned the Poneglyph she instead switched to a **** hold even though I could tell she had a harder time holding that. She then agreed to push up her plan to stab Crocodile in the back and even showed me her last resort plan how to do it literally: a knife and a vial of water.

She still insisted on bringing me to Crocodile but she already started writing a note for Pell, so he would know about what was going on a soon as possible.”

“Finally some good news”, Zoro grumbled, “with some luck Luffy might just arrive in Alubarna before we do.”

The way to the Capital wasn't really uneventful, as you still had to cross the humungous Sandora River on a mount, that couldn't swim.

On the other side of the river you were lucky again, because Carue had had the foresight of bringing his squad to where you were anticipating you coming from Yuba.

“Nico Robin told me, that the remaining officer agents as well Mr.7 and Ms. Father's Day are most likely already in Alubarna. The officer agents' main orders are to ensure that I do not enter the city alive while the 7 pair is guarding a huge bomb, that is supposed to wipe out most of the people in Alubarna.”

“That's … not good news. Okay, first things first. Getting you into the city. How many gates are there that lead into the city?”, you got to planning.

“Well, there's one in each cardinal direction …”

“The officers are likely waiting for us near the western gate to intercept you. So we can have the perfect opportunity to split them up to perfectly stack the deck in our favor: If we all wear cloaks, they have to guess which one of us is you. So all you have to do is stay out of sight, until every one of them has committed to chasing one of us. If one of us sees one of them going after them, they are unsuited to fight, we still have plenty of room to maneuver until we all have ideal match ups.

In the worst case scenario I can still hold of one of them for some time, until one of you can come and tap me out.”

You looked around and your crew mates gave you grim nods.

And so you went for Alubarna. The 1 pair went after Zoro and Nami, which while you'd prefer for Nami to not have to fight a demonstrably capable assassin, you knew was a favorable match up.

Chopper and Usopp went for the long way to the eastern gate to be intercepted by the 4 pair, exactly as planned.

Judging by his facial expression Bon Clay was able to identify Sanji as a man from all that distance and went after you.

Which could be better. Sure you could easily match his technique and with your haki you might even have him beat on reaction time. But the flamboyant man reached a comparable speed to the camel you were riding on foot and so it was obvious, that it would only be a few seconds, before he would just crush you with overwhelming strength, endurance and speed.

You barely managed to dismount in time to avoid a ballet shoe aiming for your chest with enough **** to pierce clean through.

“Oh my god, I'm sorry, I thought you were the princess!”

He didn't even flinch as I landed a spinning kick to his ear. “I don't feel like forgiving you for trying to kill my friend. After all you did tell your boss about me.”

“Yeah, you kind of have point. The problem is, that Mr. 0 has given me some pretty confidential info, so if I fail this assignment he'll see me as a loose end and I'm afraid I don't like your friend as much as myself. Please believe me when I tell you: If anything less was on the line for me, I would simply tell Mr. 0 to look for a new Mr. 2. And as for reporting you ... I ... have no idea what you mean! I purposely didn't mention anything he couldn't tell from my faces, so you could better evade him! I didn't tell him that Chopper-chan is a tiny Zoan, I didn't mention that I suspected another crewmember below deck and I most certainly omitted you!” With that he confirmed that as you had suspected, he had purposely not told Crocodile about you out of sympathy.

“Talk is cheap”, you returned and followed up with a Fishman Karate punch to his chest, which due to its property of moving the liquid in the victims body, **** him to cough.

You used the time to move in the direction you expected Sanji to come from.

You were once again grateful for your haki as a 75 kg swan-projectile came for your head and would have taken it off, if you hadn't ducked.

“I guess you are right. Please don't take it personal, but I'm afraid seeing as you would prevent me from killing your friend I have **** but to knock you out.”

“Oh no, this is personal! If it wasn't you'd be aiming to kill me, too.”

His arms slumped down from his fighting pose.

“I suppose you are right. If I didn't know you as a good person, I would not have hesitated to kill you. I would not aim for your head you can so skillfully move out of the way.

But what am I to do? If I do kill the princess I do a great injustice, not just to the country and the princess herself, but what matters to me, to you too. But as I said: If I don't then I can count on Mr. 0 doing his best to ensure my ****.”

“How about trust us? We didn't come to Alabasta to cower in fear of Crocodile. We came to beat him so badly, he'll go to Impel Down just to end what we'll put him through.”

“AHHH! So manly! If you were a guy I'd be hanging from your pant leg right now!”, he said in a playfully dramatic tone, before his face shifted back to seriousness: “But as you said: Talk is cheap. You say you want to beat Crocodile, but right now, you're running away from me. Tell you what: As soon as I see evidence, that you can beat me, I'll change sides.”

With that he came at you with a high kick. You ducked under his leg and went for a tackle, which the flamboyant dancer countered by simply leaping clean over you, needing only the strength of his toe tips to do it.

You rolled to the side, warned by your haki, avoiding having your ribs broken by a flat hand strike.

While you were by now panting heavily, the cross dresser, having just caught up to a running camel on foot, tanking several attacks from you, launching several attacks, that would have instantly killed an average person and jumping over one and a half meter from standing on the toe tips of one foot, looked like he had just finished putting on his ballet shoes and not yet started any physical exertion.

It was obvious, that if he simply kept up the pressure, you'd quickly run out of stamina and fail to dodge one of his attacks.

But despite what he said, he chose not to, merely getting back into a stance, waiting for you to get back up and face him again.

This time he went for a hand strike and you opted for a low kick, that let you easily avoid his attack.

Against a remotely normal opponent your kick would have either toppled them over, by removing their foot from under them, or broken their knee. Against the second most dangerous assassin in Baroque Works it almost sprained your ankle.

Again with no visible effect on him.

That left you with only one option to harm him: The same technique you had attempted to use on Arlong. Where being off less than 1 millimeter for less than 1 millisecond caused you to break both your legs.

Sure you had been training the technique with Luffy and your strength with Zoro, but the risk was still clear. A tiny mistake and you'd bee practically out of commission for the rest of the civil war.

“I don't suppose your just putting on a brave face right now, and it actually REALLY hurt?”

“I'm afraid not, Yuri-chan”, Bon Clay said, his voice conferring honest sympathy.

“In that case I'd like to tell you two things: Number one you maybe figured out already: I'm not fighting you with all I've got, I'm merely buying time for Sanji to find us. He is a lot better suited to fight you. Can you promise me, you'll fight him with the same honor your showing me?”

He thought for a moment before answering: “Not really. For one I'm not attempting using my Devil Fruit to get in cheap shots against you, because I already know it wouldn't work. You'd probably just close your eyes and dodge me like you did when I attacked you from the back.

I promised however to put you to the test! If I already make the concession to allow a champion in your stead, I could not go easy on him by not even attempting my signature technique of cheap-shotting him while disguised as his friends… You said number one. What else is there?”

“Since Sanji isn't here yet, I'm afraid I do have to use my most risky technique. I either put it off flawlessly, or your next attack will take me out”, you said, getting into a low stance, “Would you kindly give me your best shot as well?”

Bon Clay smiled and bowed towards me, before going backwards to get a running start, or rather a hopping and skipping start.

His left foot came for my face, toes first like spear that could tear through a stone wall like a cannonball through a sheet of paper.

Exactly like you expected. Your left hand closed around his foot and your lungs screamed as the **** was transferred through your torso.

Your right hand made contact with his calf and your entire body relaxed as the power of the kick left your body again.

Bon Clay was flung over your head into a building and tore a wall through the wall.

Five seconds later the door of the building opened to reveal the assassin looking dirty but almost uninjured. He was picking wooden splinters from his hair and trying to get stone dust from his clothes, until he faced you again: “Wow, you have to teach me how to do that!”, he gushed, “Man I'm glad I didn't do as you told me or I'd now have a hole in my tight!”

“You want me to show it again?”

“Absolutely!”

“Then you better practice some sportsmanship with Sanji.”

Because the cook had finally found you. Sure he was on the other side of the street, you knew from experience just how fast he could move, when he saw a woman getting attacked, which had necessitated Nami and you to hide your sparring sessions from him.

“I'm going to take care of this bomb and help Vivi stop this war!”, you told the two of them, as you took your leave.