No, but it doesn't look like we get a choice

“Hell no. Just let me go. I don’t want to be here!” You shout out across the room. You are tempted to try and make a run for it, but a glint in the two security gentlemen’s eyes gives you just enough pause for Minka to speak up.

Standing back at the podium she giggles into the microphone. “Sorry Dan that was a rhetorical question! But this next one won't be.” The video monitors behind the host pop up with a giant 1, then text replaces the number as Minka reads off of a card in her hands. “So Dan. We call this game ‘How did it start?’. When you were twelve years old, did you or did you not try on your sister’s bikini in the bathroom and pose in front of the mirror wishing you had just a little more to fill it out?”

Moments ago, your heart had been beating a mile a minute as you frantically tried to find a way out of this very weird situation. Now, you froze and turned to stare over at the woman who seemed to be controlling it all. It was strange to see your celebrity crush and hear her reference something that you had shared with so few people. There was no way she should know this. Not only that, but if this really was being recorded and sent out to people you knew it could wreck your whole life.

Looking over to the question on the video wall, you noticed there was a number counting down next to it. Assuming that not answering within time would cause one of those aforementioned punishments, you decided to simply try and lie your way out of this. “Of course not!” There, no one would ever think you had lied. There was no way they had any proof, and you could just say that whoever had told them was a liar.

A siren began to wail as a flashing red light went off and drowned the area in color as it flashed on and off. Cutting off a few seconds later, Minka shook her head sadly as she looked over at you. “Ooooh Dan! I’m sorry, but that was a lie! Seems like you might want these punishments? Now, since you decided to lie, we are going to have to double down.” Waving her hand, an image of you appeared up on the video screens.

“Look at our boy Dan here! Tall, strapping, jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. But you know, those types of men don’t try on their sister’s swimwear do they?” Motioning to the audience for their reaction, they react with boos and negative yells. “So folks we know what this means!” The image of you on the screen walks up to a wall with two doors on it. One is bright blue and has the words STUD written on it in blocky black text. The other is a fluorescent pink, on it is the word SISSY written on it in bright white letters. “So folks, is he a Stud or a Sissy?”

The crowd roars back, the **** of it almost palpable. “SISSY!!!!” The bright pink door opens up and the image you see is sucked through it and begins to fall.

Minka laughs at the horror on your face. “Alright, since you lied, we will be issuing two punishments! First, sissies certainly don’t need all that body hair do they? Now you will be smooth as a supermodel from the eyebrows down!” Snapping her fingers, your clothes all of a sudden feel very different. The rough denim of your jeans feels strange against the smooth hairless legs that inhabit them. Your face is different now that any hint of a beard or mustache is gone.

Reaching up, you feel the skin and are amazing at how soft it is. You had thought your wife Kim’s face was smooth, now you put her to shame. Your mind tried to process this and all it could come up with was that this must be some weird dream. You must be safely asleep in the car with some Minka Kelly look alike driving you home. Things like this weren’t real, no matter what the websites online you posted on said.

“Oh, this is no dream Dan this is your new life. Now, before we move onto your next question, we have another punishment to lay out. Since you tried to get ahead with a lie, it has been decided that your head will suffer the consequences!” A flash of heat across your newly denuded face causes you to reach up and try to see what is different. “Here Dan! Let’s show you up close!”

One of the camera men swings in on the long camera boom and stops a few feet away. Looking over at the video screen you see yourself standing there. Only there was something wrong with your face. Your nose was smaller, your lips bigger. Your eyebrows were shaped in sloping arcs. It took you a moment to realize that nothing had actually been to you physically. Instead it was just the makeup that had been caked onto your face. You certainly didn’t look like a woman, but a short haired femboy certainly looked back at you. Only the short haired part of that didn’t last long. Your chestnut brown hair began to sprout and flow down your back. The lank locks looked much like most guy’s hair did when they grew it long, just laying there dead and lifeless.

“Well folks, what do we think? Does Dan look better or worse?” Again the screen image changed to show a scale with two options. It appeared to somehow tally audience votes and display the results. Every single vote was pointing towards you looking better. “Well, it looks like these folks all think they know where you are gonna end up!”

Deciding that even if this is a dream, you won’t stand by and let this happen, you dive for the curtain, hoping to dash past the two large men. Surprisingly, your sneak attack works and you dive through the curtains. It feels like you are fighting your way through a forest of curtains as you shove the velvety material around you. As the curtains part, you step through only to look up and see that you were back where you had started.

“Oh Dan!” The audience and two large black men join in with Minka as she giggles at your useless adventure. “Well, normally we would punish you for your insolence. But I’ve just received word that instead, we will be using your one free veto instead! Isn’t that generous of us?” The audience laughs in agreement as you stand there confused.

Forgetting for a moment that you had literally just been teleported, you decided instead to try and understand your situation better. “Free veto? You mean I could have stopped this?! What are the fucking rules here?” Frustration makes your voice come out as a deep growl. “I don’t want to play this! Let me go! I haven’t done anything to deserve this!” Your previous caution is gone as you begin to stalk across the room towards the host and decide to try and resolve this a different way.

You make it about three steps before a veritable wall of flesh appears before you. The two black security guards are there staring down at you. Their dark skin glistens under the bright lights. The one on the right speaks slowly. “Be respectful.”

Realizing that you wouldn’t just lose that fight, but that it wouldn’t even be a fight at all, you step backwards and put your hands up in front of you in the universal surrender motion. “Thank you boys! Now, let’s all calm down and move forward shall we?”

Realizing that the only way out of this is to move forward you grumble agreement and cross your arms in front of your chest as you try and put forth a brave front. The pair of security guards step back to their old positions and smirk over at you.

“Now Dan, are you ready for your next round of Stud or Sissy?” The crowd goes wild as you stare across the room.