Well heeled.

“Alright there! Now, this one is simple. Real men only own about two or three pairs of shoes, unless they are sneakerheads. Are you a sneakerhead Dan?” The way she phrases the question shows that she knows you aren’t. You had always been a simple man, you had a pair of boots left over from your military service, a pair of sneakers for running, your steel toed boots for work, and a single pair of dress shoes. You were certain you fell well within their definition of what real men have. Shaking your head no, you waited to see what the actual question was.

“Great! We call this game, ‘Well heeled’! The rules are simple. We are going to show pictures of six different pairs of shoes. Just tell me which pair or pairs you don’t own.” Motioning to the video wall like Vanna White, Minka snapped and images appeared.

Your jaw dropped. These weren’t just images like the shoes you owned, they were your shoes exactly. You could see the small tear in your combat boots from a stupid accident. You could see that spot on your work boots where you had scraped the leather on an exposed screw. Looking over the shoes you saw six different pairs with numbers next to them.

1. A pair of New Balance running shoes.

1. A pair of black Cowboy boots.

1. A pair of mens steel toed workboots.

1. A pair of pink platform stiletto heels with a gold ankle strap.

1. A pair of beige 5 inch stiletto heeled platforms with an ankle strap

1. A pair of tan combat boots.

“So Dan which ones are we eliminating?” Minka looked across the small room at you and smirked as she watched the color drain from your face.

This should have been a simple question, but it was going to be anything but. Swallowing deeply, you spoke up. “Well, I certainly don’t own those cowboy boots. I used to but got rid of them a few months back.”

“Show us the cowboy boots!” Minka yelled out in imitation of Steve Harvey on Family Feud. At her direction the cowboy boots were eliminated from the screen and a peaceful sounding ding noise filled the studio. “Looks like you were telling the truth this time! Good boy! Now, what is next?”

“The pink ones.” You didn’t elaborate this time. You were afraid you would slip up and let something go that you certainly didn’t want recorded. Even if you were still hoping this was a nightmare.

The pink pair disappeared as well with the ding sounding off again. “Awe, shame. Pink certainly would look cute on you!” Minka laughed and pointed back up at the selections again. “Any others you don’t own? Or are you calling it at two? There still seems to be something there that no real men would wear. Are you a real man Dan?”

You began to answer before you froze again. Last time lying had resulted in two punishments. Perhaps if you told the truth you would be treated more fairly. Still it was difficult to say the next words that came out of your mouth. Mumbling softly you spoke. “Nope, that’s it.”

“What was that Dan did you say you owned all four of the rest of these shoes? Because those cute platform stilettos don’t look very manly! Let’s see what the judges say!” Motioning to the screen again with a flourish, the bright sounding ding noise goes off again.

The roar of the crowd’s laughter drowns out your thoughts for a moment as you realize that all of these people just found out you own women’s shoes. “So folks, is that Stud or Sissy behavior?” This time a scale shows up on the screen, with votes dropping down onto it. Again every single vote lands on the sissy side.

Waving to the crowd for silence, Minka speaks up again. “Alright folks, we know what that means. Sissy punishment!” Turning back to you, she waves her hand towards you again and you suddenly feel the cold air brush across your bare feet. Looking down you see your bare toes, but that isn’t what really catches your attention. Instead it is the pair of open toed ankle strap pink platform pumps that adorn your feet. Your toes show through with a matching pink polish, standing out against your pale skin.

“So Dan we know they aren’t the shoes you own, but we wanted to provide you with options for your future wardrobe. Plus, you picked these out once didn’t you? Showed them to a friend and told her you wanted them?” Waving the question away she smiles. “Nevermind! Let’s continue with the game. Are you ready for the next round of Stud or Sissy?” The opening music plays for a short second almost as if the show was going to a small commercial break as the lights in the studio went dim and a video began to play on the screen.