No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than these broken parts, pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am

Nick and Morgana ran into each other right outside the Master’s Suite. He was surprised to see her look so… cheery.

While Morgana had never really fit into the mold of the “gloomy goth” (she was actually more perky than anything) she had been in a really down mood since this morning.

So seeing her bright and sunny again was a huge relief, even if it came as a bit of a surprise to him.

“Hey, um… hey.” It was a rather lame way to start things off, but he didn’t really have anything better to say. He just awkwardly waved at her.

Morgana giggled a little. But it wasn’t the usual, slightly-manic laugh he was used to. She seemed happy. Like, really happy.

And again, that brought a smile to his face.

“Hey, um… hey,” she said back.

There was an awkward silence between the two of them for a second.

“…I’m sorry,” Nick apologized. “For leaving you alone like that. I said I was going to spend the day with you, but I went back on that promise. I’m really sorry.”

“Oh… yeah.” Morgana nodded, and her smile faded for the first time. While she’d enjoyed the time she’d spent cooking with the girls, and she’d liked getting some one on one time with Dawn, it didn’t change the fact that she felt a little hurt at being abandoned.

“I was with Dakota,” he explained, wanting to come clean even though it meant digging his grave even deeper. “I wanted to talk with her, to try and see if I could get her to change her behavior and be a better friend to you and the others… and I don’t know if I succeeded or not, but I think… well, I hope, that she’s going to try. I didn’t expect it to take that long, though… see, one thing led to another, and then… well, we had sex. I wasn’t even thinking, and time passed before I knew it, and… sorry.”

He couldn’t really do anything other than apologize, honestly.

Morgana nodded thoughtfully. “Look, um… it’s fine. Really. It’s okay. I don’t mind that you left me… too much.”

Her face told a different story. Nick felt even more miserable. Even though she knew now it was for a good reason (and that point was honestly debatable) the fact remained that by leaving her like that, he’d probably triggered one of her many trauma buttons. He couldn’t imagine that Morgana was all that fond of being ditched.

“You didn’t, um… you didn’t tell her about me, right?” Morgana asked warily. The sunny light in her eyes was replaced with worry and fear. “About the stuff I told you?”

Nick shook his head. “No! Of course not! I’d never do that! I just went over to talk with her about my own issues with her behavior, that’s all. The only time you came up was when I told her about how worried I was that you might get eliminated.”

Morgana breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay… well, that’s good,” she said, nodding. “I’m glad you didn’t go… that far. Thank you. And also… um… I don’t know how to say this, so… sorry in advance!”

Suddenly, she lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Nick, pulling him into a tight hug that pressed her boobs into his chest. He felt them practically wrap around his body as she got closer and closer, hugging him as tightly as she could.

Hugged the Master! +1 VP

“M-Morgana!” He stammered, shocked by the aggressive hug. He thought Morgana’s days of throwing herself at him had ended for good, now that she’d seen how terrible of a partner he would be for someone like her.

“Sorry,” she apologized, smiling sheepishly. “It’s just… things were getting really serious, and before, well… before the serious stuff… I wanted to hug you first.”

“Wh-why?” Nick still didn’t get that part.

“It’s a thank you,” Morgana explained, her pale cheeks flushing. “See… if it wasn’t for you, I would have stayed cooped up in the Master’s Suite all day. I wouldn’t have even been able to come out. And I really… I had fun today. Getting to know everybody. Having tea with Dawn, chatting with Kim, cooking with Mary and the others, even rock climbing with Carly and Marley, I enjoyed it all.”

Her heart swelled with gratitude as she looked at Nick. “It’s because of you, Nick. I wouldn’t have done any of that if it wasn’t for you.”

Nick felt his own heart surge with slight relief. He was glad to be given such praise from Morgana, but at the same time, he didn’t feel like he deserved it.

“You did that yourself,” he corrected her. “I might have given you some encouragement, but that’s not something you need to thank me for. It was your own decision to leave the room and move forward, it had nothing to do with me.”

Morgana smiled. “…Maybe you’re right,” she admitted. “But… on the other hand… maybe I’m just feeling like I’m in a really good mood, and I wanted to share some of that positivity with you, master, how about that?”

“Come on, master, really?” Nick sighed. “I thought we were done with that?”

Morgana’s face fell. “You… you don’t like it?”

“Well, it’s not like I don’t,” Nick said, quickly falling over himself trying to explain. “It’s just… we discussed this earlier, right? We’re moving too fast. You don’t know how you really feel about me yet, right?”

He really hoped that Morgana hadn’t rebounded back into her devoted obsession of him. As hot as his brain found the idea of a young goth with a hot body being as slavishly devoted to him as Holly or Gina were, there were two factors that gave him pause. Her age, for one, but even more important than that was the fact that neither one of them knew that much about each other.

“I don’t think you should be saying stuff like that,” Nick pressed. “At least not until you’re certain that I’m the one for you.”

Morgana nodded. “To be honest… I think I understand where you’re coming from now, more than I did before,” she admitted.

“Really?” Nick asked, surprised.

“Mhm,” she nodded. “Before, I was just a little confused, but now… well, I got to know the other girls a lot today, though of course, I don’t know everything… but I got to know a bit about you, too,” she explained.

“…What about me?” Nick asked, not sure if he was going to like the answer to that question.

“Well, for starters, you’re really bad at sticking to your guns,” Morgana pointed out, and Nick felt like she’d stabbed him in the gut.

“H-huh?!”

“I mean, you were supposed to spend the whole day with me, but you were fawning over Carly and her issues, then you flirted with Kim right in front of me, then you ditched me to have sex with Dakota while leaving me to cook with your wife,” Morgana listed out. “Don’t you think that’s rather insensitive of you, Nick? To a lot of people, that must seem like a really dick move.”

She scowled, and Nick’s heart sank a little.

“Plus, you think that everything can be solved if you just say ‘I’m sorry’,” she continued. “Even if your actions might cause some serious pain!”

“Yeah… I can’t deny that,” Nick admitted. “But look, I really AM sorry! How can I make it up to you? Come on, I’ll do anything!”

Morgana’s eyes widened with glee. “So… we can have sex, then?”

Nick blanched. “W-well… we talked about this, right? We can’t-”

“That’s another thing,” Morgana frowned. “You make big, grand statements to try and make people feel better, but when push comes to shove you walked it right back! That’s hurtful!” She wailed.

Truthfully, she’d only kind of scratched the surface of this herself. A lot of her psychoanalysis was actually provided by Dawn, who apparently had an entire folder in her head about all of Nick’s shortcomings.

Not that it stopped her from gushing praise about him if you got her worked up enough.

Meanwhile, Nick had practically withered away. It stung to hear such bad stuff about himself, especially from someone who’d been filled with praise about him not too long ago. He knew that it was better for Morgana to see him as a fallible person instead of some object of worship, but at the same time he felt a sense of loss.

“So basically, Nick, you’re insensitive, you don’t think before you say things, and you work so hard to try and please people that you end up driving everyone away because you’re too self-centered on your own image of yourself,” Morgana summarized.

Nick couldn’t argue with one word of her statement.

“…So we’re the same,” she finished.

“…Huh?” Nick looked at her, confused.

“I’m also really insensitive, even though I don’t mean to be,” Morgana admitted. “I say things that sound big and grand, but I walk it back later, too. Because I don’t think before I open my mouth. And I wanted everyone to look up to me as some kind of great witch, so I said and did dumb stuff… and everyone only disliked me more.”

She took Nick’s hand.

“I don’t know if I like the real you or not, Nick,” she admitted. “I’m not going to idolize you anymore… but at the same time, I can’t really get too mad at you for stuff I’m working on myself, right? And it’s not like we’re exactly the same, but… if I’m going to learn to love myself, then I think maybe trying to love you would be a good place to start.”

Nick thought there were a few things off with that line of thinking, but he didn’t say anything. If that’s what would make Morgana happy, then he was okay with it.

“…So with that being said, I don’t think having sex would be the right thing to do,” she said, sighing. “But… I do want to. Once we get to know each other better. It’s not like I’m going to get over the feelings of idolization I had for you overnight or anything. They’re still there… and I still know what a great guy you are, too. It isn’t just your negative qualities I saw, you know. All week I’ve seen how hard you work to make the people you care about happy. Hell, just today, you did so much to try and help me, I’d be a fool NOT to fall in love with you!”

She beamed, and her eyes twinkled. “I think any girl would want to be the target of that love of yours, especially someone like me.”

Morgana had received very little of what she could call real affection or love from her birth family. Not compared to Nick, who honestly tried to get to know the real her, and clearly cared about her wants and desires and mental health.

That was good enough for now.

“So, uh… what do we do tonight, then?” Nick asked.

“Well, we can always eat, and then… I don’t know, figure it out, I guess,” she shrugged. She wasn’t exactly used to being good company for someone. And she didn’t know what else she could offer to him besides her body.

“I suppose we could always just sit around and talk,” Nick suggested with a laugh as he led her into the suite. “That would be something, huh?”

“I think that might make Sylvia mad,” Morgana giggled. “If we just talked, instead of doing any dirty stuff?”

“Welcome back, master!”

Nick recoiled in surprise. He’d almost forgotten that Holly still lived in his room, it had been so long since she was last here. “O-oh, Holly. Hey. You startled me.”

“My apologies, master.” Holly stood up from where she knelt at the ground, gazing up at him with devotion in her eyes. “Are you ready for dinner?”

Nick glanced at the table, but saw it was empty. “Ah, yeah… but wait, where is it?”

Holly’s eyes shot to Morgana for a moment, and the goth realized what she was suggesting.

“W-wait, seriously?” She asked, turning even more pale. “B-but… I’m not sure if I can do that! I barely did it okay the first time!”

“It’ll be fine!” Holly chirped. “I’ll be happy to pitch in and help if you need!”

“What’s going on?” Nick asked, confused.

Morgana blushed. “I, uh… well, when I was with Mary… we made a stir-fry dish,” she mumbled. “And mine, well… it actually… it didn’t turn out terrible, so I just thought, well… if you wanted to, I mean… Holly’s suggesting…”

The confidence she’d gained was leaking out of her with every unfinished sentence. Her eyeballs swam in her head as she tried to make sense of the whole thing.

“I wanted to see if she would like to cook you both dinner today, master!” Holly explained with a cheerful smile, and Morgana nodded sheepishly.

“Seriously?” Nick certainly hadn’t expected that. He knew that Morgana had been at Mary’s cooking class, but he never asked how she’d done. Considering it was Morgana, he thought it would be too rude to ask, since he’d expected her to not do very well.

But apparently he was the rude one for judging her like that.

“I’m… I’m not sure if it’ll taste good,” Morgana admitted. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to…”

“Oh, come on!” Holly slapped her on the back like a good friend, an exchange that made Nick smile. “Your cooking is delicious, Morgana! I loved it! You’re totally up for this, I promise!”

Morgana looked weakly at her and **** a smile to her lips. Nick could tell that she was feeling pressured, but at the same time he noticed that she seemed really eager about the whole thing, like she actually DID want to do it.

She just needed a little encouragement.

“Morgana, I’d love to taste your cooking,” Nick said with a smile. “If Holly thinks it’s good enough for me, then I trust it’ll taste delicious.”

He wasn’t even buttering her up, either. Holly was an excellent chef, as skilled as Mary at least, maybe even moreso since she’d been doing a ton of practice every day for his sake.

If Holly thought Morgana made good food, then Morgana made good food.

The goth girl’s face lit up, and she nodded. “O-okay, then!” She agreed, and quickly rushed to the kitchen with Holly. Nick sighed and sat down at the table, staring up at the ceiling.

Tomorrow is the next challenge. That means someone’s getting eliminated. It could be Morgana, it could be someone else… but I don’t want to lose anyone!

It wasn’t like Nick had been ambivalent to the risks of the previous challenges. After holding Rose all night long and hearing her cry out in fear of her elimination, he’d known from the start the danger ahead. But it really seemed to be sinking in now. He looked back on his wedding, with everyone there wearing smiles on their faces.

One of those girls would be changed irreparably as a result of tomorrow. That perfect image of the perfect wedding would be marred.

He sighed, and just hoped that whatever the outcome, it would be something he could live with.

In the meantime, Morgana was getting the cooking prep ready. She was following the recipe perfectly under Holly’s guidance, making sure to do as much of it on her own as she could.

Nick wanted to taste her cooking, after all.

Strange. This morning I thought there was no point in learning how to cook, Morgana thought as she mixed the sauce together in the mixing bowl. But already I want to do it, just to make him happy. This must be what Mary feels every day.

It was remarkable to think that she could change so much so fast.

“You seem to be having fun,” Holly noted, leaning over the counter with her arms propped up under her chin.

“I-I do? I guess… it’s been a really good day,” Morgana admitted.

“There’s definitely a different vibe around you,” Holly agreed. “Kind of like when I stopped hiding who I was, and started being a bit of a pervert.”

That was Holly alright. Always underselling.

Morgana had grown up in a lot of ways today. But at the same time, she’d awakened to a new inner child that she’d denied. In her rush to be seen as cool and independent and get away from her family, she’d thrown herself into the deep end of dark cynicism and became an edgy goth witch who was obsessed with her fantasies.

Maybe being with Nick could give her the chance for that to develop in a more natural way. So she could embrace some of the things she’d initially abandoned, having taken them for granted.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow,” she admitted, setting the sauce aside and moving onto the chicken. “But I’m going to do my best to have a happy ending.”

Holly grinned. “On that subject… you’ve still got that transformation of yours, right? The diary? Don’t you have to write something in that?”

Morgana blanched. “O-oh! I didn’t even think about that!” She gasped. Her knife slipped, and she nearly cut her finger. But even if she had, the pain from that wouldn’t have had a chance to make its way to her brain.

She started pacing back and forth in worry, the food left abandoned on the counter. “What am I going to do?!” She asked. “I didn’t even think about that! I can’t leave the Master’s Suite! Which means I can’t get permission from anyone for a dream! Holly, what should I do?!”

“Too bad you can’t put my name,” Holly sighed, not sharing in Morgana’s worry at all. “That would make things so much easier, don’t you think?”

“This is serious!” Morgana wailed. “Holly!”

Holly just smiled. “Today’s your lucky day!” She informed the flustered goth. “After you left, I talked with the other girls, since I figured you wouldn’t think to do it. I just wanted to see if any of them were willing to have their name be written in the diary tonight.”

Relief and anxiety filled Morgana’s chest in equal parts. “And?” She asked hopefully. “What did they say?”

“Someone… agreed,” Holly grinned. “…Well, multiple girls did, in fact. But one of them? You won’t believe it!”