Nikkou

All of us could only stare in utter disbelief in what was in front of us.

One of the four legendary Holy Weapons.

The sword rumored to have been lost for 800 years.

The Holy Blade Nikkou

...

...

...

“THATSTHEHOLYBLADYNIKKOU!!!!!!”

Sanakia screamed like a kid in a candy story.

If the solemn atmosphere wasn’t ruined already it certainly was when the ecstatic Sexy-Knight rushed forward towards the pedestal.

“Hey! There could be a trap!”

But then again, might as well send Sanakia out to scout. I’m sick of being the only one who gets afflicted by curses.

The Sexy-Knight arrived at the pedestal, threw her sword of ruin away as if it was yesterdays garbage and without any further interruption grabbed Nikkou’s hilt and started pulling.

“HNNNGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“She really wants that thing, huh?”, Sylphid commented with a grin. “It’s very hot. I have a kink for naked girls that pull out swords.”

Good for you.

Sanakia’s pep rally buff was still active, meaning she was ridiculously strong right now. She really shouldn’t have any issue pulling the blade out of that marble stone.

But no matter how hard the Galmon pulled, the sword refused to budge.

“This thing is stuuuuuuuuck!”, the Sexy-Knight complained, completely abandoning any decorum.

“Of course mine arth, oh rambunctious one.”

“EEEEEEKK!”

Sanakia squealed in surprise and clumsily fell backwards right on her backside. “T-TH-THE BLADE IS TALKIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!”

…

I know I should be surprised but after everything I experienced today a talking blade fits right in.

The holy blade Nikkou spoke with a soft and sophisticated female voice. “I bid thou welcome, brave adventurers. I arth Nikkou. For centuries mine lay dormant, e’er waiting that a worthy wielder doth appear ‘fore mine so that mine blade may once again vanquish evil.”

“A-are you telling me, I’m not worthy?”, Sanakia gasped.

“Nay, oh clumsy one.”

Obviously.

The rest of us slowly approached the altar. I cleared my throat. “So, uh...just to make sure, are you really the Holy Blade Nikkou?”

“Indeed, ‘tis I.”

…

“Really?”

“Aye, oh mistrustful one.”

Apparently sensing my complete confusion the sword decided to elaborate.

“Ye maze arth o’ a most curious, ergodic nature. Ye probability o’ chancing upon mine arth by thyself a miracle. Thou art thee first visitors mine had in nary two decades.”

“The sexy sword got a point”, Sylphid agreed. “Save for the first ten floors of Rasheul Labyrinth each floor has hundreds of variations. Add in the fact that floor 42 is pretty high level and it’s no wonder barely anybody discovered this place.”

And the few that do are probably not believed. I suppose that would explain that random drunk who told Sanakia about it.

And maybe that was also how the rumor that Nikkou was on Ylapu came to be.

“Guess we got pretty lucky”, Lucky grinned.

“B-But this proves that we are the chosen ones!”, Sanakia, rubbing her butt in a very unchosen like fashion, stood up again.

Well, I suppose I am.

I cleared my throat. “Very well. Hear me, Holy Blade Nikkou. I am the Amber Dominator Mari Beta, finalist of the Rasheul Great **** Tournament. And I have come to claim you as my own, holy blade!”

…

No response.

“Yeah, coming on a bit strong there, Amber Dominator”, Sylphid whispered.

“H-Hmph…” I crossed my arms “I’m just speaking the truth.”

Sanakia, having collected herself from the shock of being called unworthy, cleared her throat too. “Oh, holy blade o’ Nikkou, what arth thou mine Lady art be thou doing to be worthy of wielding thine thee thoust into battle arth?”

“I require to be wielded by ye untainted by ye cravings of flesh. Only a maiden unspoiled may pull mine from this gaol o’ stone.”

…

Well, fuck.

“One pure maiden coming right up!”, Sylphid stepped towards the pedestal and started pulling.

“Haaaaaaaaahh!!!!!!!!.” She put some impressive effort in it but after a while had to give up just as Sanakia.

“No way!”

HOW THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WOULD FULFILL THE REQUIREMENT?

“I want to try!”, Lucky laughed.

Oh, right. Lucky might be an option. “Are you...ehem unspoiled?”

“Yep”, Sylphid nodded. “Believe it or not, I never had sex with the cutie. We did do some petting though. Is that fine?”

“Thoust parameters arth acceptable. I require that thine Hymen arth still intact or if male, that thou penis ne’er entered a vagina beyond thine glans.”

Well, that suddenly got very specific.

At any rate, contestant number three now stood at the pedestal, took a deep breath and started pulling.

…

Nope, the thing is still as stuck as ever.

“This is soooo hard!”, Lucky pouted, breathing heavily.

“Lucky!”, Sylphid gasped in indignation. “I can’t believe you lied to me about your purity!”

“No way!”, Lucky gasped back. “This body is totally a virgin!”

“’tis so”, Nikkou explained. “Thou needst posses a STR stat o’ at least 10 to levy mine out o’ stone.”

Oh.

I guess it is wedged pretty deep in there.

...

...doesn’t that mean we're screwed?

“Thou arth granted one more try. Aft, further attempts will be locked fore a period o’ ten years.”

You really like being stuck in stone, huh?

“My Lady, this must be the will of the Goddess. Only you are able to wield the Holy Blade Nikkou. Boldly stick your chest out and embrace your destiny!”

“W-well…”

No matter how great I am, there was absolutely no way I qualify. I certainly was a virgin before coming to this town but for better or worse(mostly worse) that was no longer the case.

“Might as well try”, Sylphid suggested. “You never know, maybe she’s into horny Kyan-Kyan’s with a superiority complex.”

That’s not..,Ugh, whatever, let’s just get this over with!

I stepped towards the pedestal, grabbed the hilt with both hands, took a deep breath and pulled.

SCHWUP

…

…

The blade slowly and gently rose from its resting place until it was out completely. It’s light glowed even brighter and a heroic fanfare echoed through the entire room.

OK, WHAT THE FUCK!

“Hmm...thought so”, Sylphid grinned at me. “Changing your gender must have come with a free Hymen repair service. Good for you, Handsome.”

“My Lady is the purest maiden!”, Sanakia gushed. “I knew you would be able to do it!”

“Indeed!”, Nikkou’s voice reverberated loudly and with considerable more grandeur. “Oh, pure battle maiden, hear mine oath. I hereby accept thy as mine wielder unto **** doth us part. Mine strength be thine. Ye shall take no spouse. Ye shall not be indolent nor unfaithful. Ye shall devote thine body and mind to slay evil without rest or succor.”

This is so not worth it.