Nature Walk

The alarm goes off a little after six am, Stretching I get up and I'm greeted by a new face of a new guard.

"So I hear you're a storyteller!" He sticks his hand in through the bars "Well i like to consider myself a storyteller alos and maybe when we get back from the shower and breakfast i can regale you with one of mine?"

And outside of going back to sleep how can we stop you?" The door opens and we trudge off to eat and clean up. And hour later we're back, settles in and the new guard brings his chair up so we could watch as he regaled us with his story

I call this one "Nature Walk!"

The leaves were starting to change their colour meaning it wouldn’t be long before those fucking tourists started roaming my woods. What with their fancy walking sticks and their picnic hampers,complete with plaid blankets. And all their fake ‘oohs and aahs’ at the colours which are the goddamn same year after year.

No wonder I can’t fucking stand them, the lot of them all feel the same that they are better than me. What with their fancy named clothing and their hiking boot with the rubber soles that light up so when night fell they would feel safe in nature’s world. So what if my clothes has patches on them and the leather of my boot look like a rat has chewed on them daily, at least I knew how to survive out here in the woods.

Sure my cabin has seen better days but at least I didn’t have some suit breathing down my neck about money so they could live in a big mansion without doing an honest day’s work. Still i don’t want those fucking idiots trotting up my pathway looking for indoor plumbing so they could vacate their delicate bladders and bowels.

“Really Gi can’t we take a rest for a few minutes!”

What the fuck was that? Going to the window , looking out there was two of those goddamn city pricks already violating the sanctity of my homestead. One dressed in a bright orange coat with purple lettering along the right arm “Greater Wood Gear” From here I could see that it was a female about five foot seven or so, since I couldn’t see what was on her feet.

From under a hunter’s cap came curls of red hair “Oh look an abandoned place why don’t we go in and get out of this cold for a bit?” Hearing that i make for the root cellar entrance under the stairs. I make just get the door closed as the front door opens and i hear one “Hello is anyone here?”

“Donna are you out of your mind, you have no idea what kind of disease is lurking in a place like this!” Hearing that makes me want to come out of hiding and give her a piece of my mind. Opening the door a crack I see the redhead has shedded her coat and the one who called her Donna was just inside the door. She was dressed in a white coat, Northern Ridge Outerwear emblazoned on the left breast

Turning my attention back to the redhead, I see that she wearing a sky blue turtleneck sweater that was very form fitting and I had to admit she has a great form from the waist up, too bad it lacked a brain.

“Donna don’t you think it’s funny that the windows in an abandoned house in Bangor is broken and crackhead makes use of the house but here in the woods there’s no damage and that the front door is left opened?”

“Regina Black will you relax for once, what do you think is going to happen?” Walking to her friend and undoing her zipper “Take your coat off and let me show you how to enjoy this rustic place!” My eyes bulge out as I watch the redhead lean in to the other and undo her zipper with her teeth. As the coat opens the redhead slides off her friend then she directs her to what passes as my couch. As they take a seat I swear I see them kiss and not one of those little peck things but a long soul drenching tongue to tongue kiss.

Jesus christ bad enough that they didn’t show my home any respect but to do that in front of me albeit they have no idea that I was watching them was just wrong in my eyes. Turning to the gun rack on the right wall I take down the old double barrel Remington Forty Aught shotgun. Turning my attention back to them I see the redhead almost has the other one out of her burgundy top her friend Regina almost had Donna’s pants down to the floor.

Now was the perfect time to make my presence known to them, opening the door, letting the barrel precede me “Alright you two stop what you’re doing and get up and put your hands up where I can see them.” Both freeze at the sound of my voice, the redhead bending over to get her pants, the other covering her chest with both her arms.

“Forget it red get them hands up!” ratcheting the shotgun to show that I was serious. Instantly she bolts straight up her hand shooting about her head rising the hem of her turtleneck up over her belly button. Her friend Regina Very slowly tries to pull her top back down. “On no, you also!, hands above your head!”