NOW we return to our regular scheduled programming

“We are back to Tower of Voices, Gina.”

“Riiiiight, that’s the...story with the thing…”

“It’s the story with the heavy user interaction. You know, where people vote what the characters do?”

“Oh! Now I remember! That was ages ago! Has the plague doctor girl finally screwed up?”

“Surprisingly, it is still going. Yulia’s ill fated tower adventure is now up to 160 chapters.”

“Fuck me, I don’t even know where we stopped last time. Don’t tell me we have to read trough these fucking forum posts again.”

“Before that.”

“Ugh.”

“We have to address the unfair criticism lobbed at us by the towers bumbling mascots.”

“Oh great. The meaningless foreplay is always my favorite part of the review.”

“This was a long time coming. I will not stand for this slander.”

“Libel.”

“First off, these fools blatantly break with tradition by having three characters reply. Now, two characters are fine but three? That is just absurd.”

“I have fuck all idea who is talking but one of the bitches called me much less smart then you! Fuck you, bitch!”

“I believe that would be Dahlia, the more sinister one of the duo. Also, it is spelled Dahlia and not Dehlia. Try to remember that.”

“I won’t.”

“Continuing with my rebuttal. Much more egregious is the fact that they had the gall to claim I did not comprehend the theme of floor two.”

“Marcie, I don’t think there is a single reader here who gives a…”

“Of course I understood that the theme of the floor was greed! It is just not a theme I care for.”

“Yeah, great rebuttal there.”

“Hmph, do you have anything substantial to add?”

“Let’s see. I like the part where engin admits she shares porn with her friends. That’s pretty hot. The way engin acts I can already tell she’s the bottom bitch of the group.”

“Gina please.”

“Heh, your just jealous how much engin wants to get bullied by me. I bet she masturbated dozens of time to that chapter where I gave her a wedgie.”

“You mean the one where engin still has to write a reply to?”

“Oh, right! What the fuck gives, engin!”

“I believe we have slightly deviated from our intended purpose.”

“Go write a chapter on how much I bully you, you lazy nerd!”

“But then again Alide and Dahlia constantly over indulge in meaningless nonsense instead of reviewing stories properly. So there.”

“And masturbate while doing it, gyahahahahaha!”

“Alright, that is enough quibble. Start the review!”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Very well, in our first review of this story we didn’t really cover much of the plot. But basically this is about a cleric named Yulia who has to scale a tower. When we last left she had just made it halfway trough the second floor.”

“It’s basically just random nerd bullshit. You know, fighting monsters, losing, getting impregnated by giant spiders.”

“You are getting ahead of yourself, Gina.”

“Eh, I guess I’m just surprised that engin’s crummy tower climb simulator actually features sex scenes.”

“And it was a lesbian one no less.”

“The whole story seems geared towards lesbian relationships. Do you think engin is just trying to pander to us?”

“Gina, the entire world does not revolve around you.”

“Pretty sure it does. Anyways, all of Yulia’s companions are female, so my point stands.”

“I mean, there is Martin.”

“Nobody cares about Martin, Marcie.”

“But you do bring up a good point, Gina. What do you think about Yulia’s friends?”

“Muma, Goma, Isalia..as always, engin is fucking incapable of having a female character not ending with the letter a.”

“Cherchiel?”

“Oh please! That one is just named that because she’s an angel and all angels need to end on an L I swear engin’s mind operates on a preschool level.”

“What is not preschool is the brutality. Since this is sort of a RP, characters can and will die.”

“Pretty sure that’s just engin’s fetish for ****.”

“Perhaps. Muma’s **** was pretty brutal Definitely a wake up call for the voices that there foolish decisions can have grave consequences….pffft get it?”

“Eh, Muma was unfuckable anyways, so who cares.”

“But that was the only causality so far. So, the group...”

“Marcie.”

“Yes Gina?”

“Didn’t we limit our readings to 50 chapters per review after this awful episode with the giant crab?”

“Indeed.”

“Then why the fuck did I just suffer trough this shit paced bullshit!”

“Well, I mean, you know, this review is somewhat special.”

“Floor five certainly was special.”

“Allow me to give our listeners some context. The branch on which Yulia is on is, as mentioned, 160 chapters deep. Floor One took 12 chapters, Floor two 18. Floor three 25 and Floor four 33.”

“You can see the pattern here.”

“Then floor five took a whooping 65 chapters. Almost double the length of the last floor.”

“This shit is supposed to have ten floors! At this rate the last floor will have like 500 chapters!”

“Part of the blame certainly has to be laid upon the voices, who have become a rather fickle bunch.”

“At least the ones who remained. The majority have long since abandoned this crappy story. Ha! Suck it, engin! Your story is unpopular!”

“All but two remained. One is of course, sigh...Gambio.”

“The lazy cunt didn’t even keep up his mean voice act. How about you put a bit more effort into your performance, you bastard?”

“Let us rather focus on the newcomer. warider, who has a very weird avatar sporting Chopper from One Piece.”

“This fucker creeps me out. The fact that he walks around with that on a porn site is even more unnerving.”

“He seems to be even more concerned then Gambio in guiding Yulia properly trough the tower.”

“Which means, for the majority of this read, the story is been guided by these fucking two snoozefests. Uh! Careful Yulia! No! Don’t do the sexy thing! What if it is a trap! It’s fucking boring!”

“I take it you would have handled things differently?”

“Of course! Since Yulia is so gullible, why not have her run around in her underwear? Or make her walk around with a dildo inside her ass! Yulia even bought one but has never used it!”

“That was an Onahole, Gina.”

“Yeah sure, whatever you want to call the dildo.”

“Why did Yulia even purchase that one? Well, anyways, I do agree that we can’t really lay the blame on engin’s door too much here. She did the best she could with the tools given to here.”

“And tools they are. At least eventually engin manages to get a third voice. Miss-Emmie. That sounds like a girl, so hopefully we finally get some sexy decision making in here.”

“Wouldn’t Gambio and warider simply outvote her? Like with the sexy outfit?”

“Urrrgggghhhh! I hate these two fucks so much!”

“Anyways, I like to go back to floor five for a bit. What did you think about the sex scenes?”

“Which one do you mean? The birthing one or the spider sex? That one’s got to be against the rules!”

“How about the spider foursome bondage scene?”

“Alright fine, that one is pretty hot. But one sexy scene out of three is not a good quota!”

“Floor Five certainly was a bit controversial. The biggest point of contention however wasn’t the sex but a sidequest involving dreams.”

“I got a headache from reading this. It reminded me of that fucking cave story. Nobody cares about your stupid dream!”

“I suppose the lack of information for decision making can make this frustrating.”

“The way I see it, there was too much information! Engin still hasn’t learned that infodumps aren’t enjoyable. “

“In addition to all of this, there where also lots of screw ups on floor five.”

“You can say that again, Goma got impregnated twice! On that subject, fuck you, engin, for giving Cherchiel a dick! Give yourself a wedgie!”

“But in the end, the voices did whine a lot and I suppose their pathetic groveling did cause engin to go easy on them.»

“Pathetic. If I were gamemaster I would have killed them all while cackling gleefully.”

“You mean the characters?”

“...”

“Anyways, Yulia and friends had finally made it trough floor five and with that is halfway up the tower. Or perhaps I should say down because the voices seemed to think that going down is the better path.”

“Fucking weirdos.”

“After going trough a flesh vagina, the group arrived at the tower below, or the abyss.”

“Yeah, Marcie. I’d say that’s it. There is no way they make it trough that floor full of demons.”

“The situation seems dire, doesn’t it? They even let Cherchiel, their strongest asset, get kidnapped.”

“Well in the span in which we where writing this they already got her back and now Yulia has to decide if she wants to become a fucking archdemon!”

“I would say that escalated quickly, but then again Yulia has changed quite a lot since the beginning, hasn’t she?”

“Yeah, she used to be very submissive. Now, she is perfectly fine with slaughtering everyone that stands in her way. Pretty cool.”

“And with this, I believe we sufficiently caught up. Hm, I suppose I should ask, did you masturbate to it?”

“Nah.”

“Oof, even though there where quite a lot of lesbian scenes in this.”

“I guess I find the idea of engin writing porn more sexy then the porn she writes.”

“I see. Very weird and creepy. I suppose it is a bit too on the demand for me, if you know what I mean.”

“Will saying yes means you won’t explain it?”

“In the end, it’s the voices that decide when there’s a sex scene. It’s a bit like going to a restaurant and ordering food, I would much prefer to just **** you to cook for me.”

“As always, that is just you being twisted.”

“But who knows? Maybe the voices can finally stop fooling around and give Goma Puppet? That should be pretty erotic. Hehehe…”

“Suuuure. So, Marcie, still believe you could make it trough the tower?”

“Obviously. But I probably would stop halfway trough and become an Archdemon.”

“Woah.”

“And then turn you into my cute angel harem bondage ****.”

“Forget that I asked.”