My Next Life in a Video Game, by IWannaSpankGirls

“Today we are reading My Next Life in a Video Game, by IwannaSpankGirls”

“Cutting to the chase early, aren't you Marcie?”

“The sooner we start, the sooner we are done with this, Gina.”

“Fair point. So, this is some video game nonsense.”

“That appears to be the case. Some guy named Aidan gets trapped in a virtual world. Very creative. Has not been done to dead by this point.”

“None of these fucking options tell me anything!”

“Not that it matters. With that pitiful amount of chapters, I doubt anything but the first path will have enough chapters.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Marcie, is this one of your animes?”

“It is a spoof of Naruto. You might remember that we already covered one.”

“Oh yeah, that disgusting shit.”

“While that does not narrow it down much. Yes, Gina. That disgusting shit.”

“So, what do we get? Main protagonist takes over the body of a girl in some ninja school.”

“Quite.”

“Let me get this straight Marcie. This is a videogame in which you play as a school girl.”

“Yes.”

“Who the fuck wants to play a video game about going to school!”

“You would be surprised.”

“But seriously! There is like nothing happening in this stupid school! They are just training and Uno...”

“That's the name of the avatar by the way.”

“Who cares. Uno is occasionally perving on other girls. That's it!”

“Again, Gina. Not that different from your average JRPG/Visual Novel.”

“That is the most idiotic thing I heard in a long time.”

“I feel we have to uh...point certain things out? Like the dialog?”

“Yeah sure. Knock yourself out.”

SLAP!

"Please, Cherry, I get it! I won't steal your panties, anyway!" said Uno.

SLAP!

Uno was starting to cry.

SPANK!

SPANK!

SPANK!

SPANK!

SPANK!

“Riveting as always.”

Cherry furiously threw a shuriken at Uno. Uno deflected the shuriken with her kunai. The shuriken went flying at Straw, cutting open the top of her robes. Her robes fell down, exposing her breasts. Blood shot out of both Uno and Ramen's noses.

“Haaaa”

“Uh, Marcie?”

“Maybe If I was younger I would found that amusing, but at this point in my life I grow very weary of the generic anime fanservice trope.”

“You do realize you are still 20 right?”

SLAP!

SMACK!

SMACK!

SLAP!

"Please, Sensei, it's not my fault!" said Uno.

SLAP!

Cherry was starting to cry.

SPANK!

SPANK!

SPANK!

SPANK!

SPANK!

“Even more riveting dialog. And no, I didn't cut any part out.”

“These are two different spanking scenes by the way. The first one happens in chapter 4 and the second one at chapter 6. The fuck is the intent here? That someone jacks off to the first and is then ready to go a second round 30 seconds later?”

Another character with a bad pun for a name. Sun was a slender girl of fair complexation possessing black hair that reached her lower back.

This annoys me. The author got to the trouble of including a picture of Sun. If you include a picture why do you bother describing her features?”

“I dunno. For blind people, I guess.”

“Gina, from all the dumb...”

“Text to speech exists, you know.”

“...I concede my point.”

As Uno and Sun read books on ninjutsu, Uno noticed that Sun kept staring at her breasts. After Sun went to her class, Uno visited Straw and touched her breasts. Straw turned and pressed her own breasts against Uno's.

“The fuck kinda pacing is this?” This Uno girl is just randomly assaulting others!”

“This could be commentary on how the average player is unwilling to truly engage with a game. Roleplaying is a dying art and the more immersive games become the less players are willing to do their part to keep that immersion going. But let us be real. No.”

“And then the story just ends! This was completely pointless!”

“Hm, yes. There wasn't really any focus or any narrative drive, which didn't make for an engaging experience.”

“I mean that other ninja story, the one with the disgusting fuck had at least the courtesy to have something ongoing.”

“There is a reputation system in place, as well as levels, but it feels rather arbitrary. It never felt like it impacted the plot. In fact, everything is haphazard in this system. One time Uno gets xp for an achievement, a second time she doesn't. And despite training for pretty much the entirety of the story, she is still at Level 1.”

“Not that I particular care about any of that shit.”

“Well, and I suppose that is it. Anything to add, Gina?”

“No.”

“Good night then.”