Movie Magic (HH: Hollywood Edition Spoilers)

Annmarie had a full day ahead of her.

The first challenge for Harem Hotel: Hollywood Edition was only days away and her boss had left her with a pile of requisition forms that needed to be submitted to the Home Office ASAP for various items, big and small, that would be needed. The small bespectacled girl hadn't actually seen the show's Host this morning, but it wasn't unusual for Ava to teleport directly to her office so her assistant didn't think much of it.

Annmarie had just moved another form - Wardrobe: Assorted trench coats and fedoras - to the "complete" stack when there was a loud thump and yelp from Ava's office. The assistant paused, form held in her frozen hand. If there was one thing Ava hated it was unexpected interruptions (and surprises, and people that were snooty about how "the book was better"), but that hadn't sounded like a normal Ava sound. Her boss was…well, demanding, and in the time Annmarie had spent working for her she had learned which wordless cues she should respond to and which she should ignore. High pitched yelps fell into neither.

As Annmarie sat there frozen in indecision a small, muffled "Hello…?" floated down the hallway.

That was DEFINITELY not Ava.

Annmarie briskly pushed her chair back and stepped smartly down the hallway with false confidence to confront the intruder. She was painfully aware she had no plan, no clue what to do besides asking whoever it was to leave. For that matter, how could one even have an intruder in a personal pocket dimension? Access was supposed to be at the Host's sole discretion. The set didn't even have security; why would you need it when your boss could alter reality with a snap of her fingers?

Annmarie paused outside the heavy wooden door that lead to Ava's office. She could hear someone inside, their movements furtive and uncertain. Drawing herself up to her full 5'1" and setting her guise into her best approximation of fierce, the petite assistant took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

The source of the commotion was immediately apparent. Sitting behind the desk, behind her boss' desk, was a young Japanese women. When Annmarie stormed in she found the interloper in the process of rifling through the papers that sat atop Ava's desk. The intruder yelped (again) at the assistant’s sudden arrival, shooting up to her feet and knocking over a pen holder in the process, strewing the writing implements across the desk.

"Who are you? How did you get here?" Annmarie demanded, filled with professional anger on her employer's behalf.

The girl was tall, nearly as tall as her boss, but while the Host was soft sex this girl was hard muscle. She was clad in only a sports bra and pair of slick workout pants, leaving her hard abs on proud display. Annmarie faltered. The assistant had no reality altering powers of her own, and if this woman decided to toss her out there was little she could do.

"S-sorry!" The girl stammered. "I'm not sure how I got here…or where here even is…"

"Ava's private office," Annmarie replied, trying to keep the nerves out of her voice. The girl's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I have an office?"

"No, this is Ava's office."

"Uh, I'm…I'm Ava…"

Annmarie was dumbfounded. Was her boss trying out a new look? That wouldn't explain the confusion though.

"L-look, let's just…if you leave now I'll forget the whole thing and won't call security," the assistant bluffed. That was enough to get the intruder scrambling for the door. She spun in place once she hit the hallway, before picking the right direction and disappearing.

Annmarie sighed in relief. At least that was handled but she still needed to let Ava know that someone was loose on set that shouldn't be. The assistant picked up one of the rotary Bakelite phones from the desk and called her boss' cell. This would all be over soon…

Bzzt bzzt…bzzt bzzt…

Annmarie groaned as she slid open the desk drawer and found Ava's phone, nestled between unpopped bags of microwave popcorn and a copy of Variety. Great, just great. No Host, unauthorized persons, and that giant stack of requisition forms back on her desk that wasn't getting any smaller.

The assistant hung up the phone, leaned back against her boss' desk and sighed, rubbing her eyes. She nearly screamed in shock when she pulled her hand away and the intruder was back. The black-haired girl was peering anxiously back into the office , like a kid about to ask for something they know they shouldn't.

"I'm really sorry but I think I'm a little lost? I don't recognize anything outside…"

"Just go back the way you came!" Annmarie's worry about the size difference was beginning to lose out to her thinning patience.

"But I don't know how I came!" The girl protested. "I went to bed, then next thing I know I was falling into the office chair!"

Annmarie's eyes narrowed. Something wasn't adding up here.

"What did you say your name was again?"

"Ava. Ava Soto."

She couldn't be…Surely not…

"And what is your relationship with the Show Ava?"

"Which show?"

"Harem Hotel, of course!"

"Oh! Ummm…contestant…?"

Shit.

Shit shit shit SHIT.

Annmarie's feet were moving before her mind was. Mysterious interdimensional intruders and missing Hosts were far outside of her wheelhouse, but misplaced contestants? Ok, to be fair, also far outside of her wheelhouse but at least she had enough context to have an idea of how to attack that.

Annmarie beelined for her desk while Ava Soto drifted uncertainly after her. There was a Rolodex next to her phone with the contact information for other seasons. The easiest way to get Ava back to her season would be to simply call the Host and have them come get her.

"What season are you on, who's hosting it?" The assistant asked, her fingers already fidgeting with the Rolodex wheel.

"Genet."

Genet, "Domestic Affairs."

Annmarie was familiar with Genet, at least by name. The voluptuous Host was often the target of her boss' ire for being the perfect epitome of everything she thought was wrong with Harem Hotel.

"Yeah, her ratings are good, but if she would just drop her precious personal crusade and stop babying her cast she'd be top of the heap."

She found the contact card and her heart sank. There were no assistants listed, no staff of any kind - the only contact number for the season was Genet herself. The odds of Annmarie getting straight through to the Host were slim, but she was determined to try. As she reached for the phone she suddenly became aware of Ava Soto trying to find space to exist where she was close but not hovering.

"You can grab a seat," Annmarie said, trying to channel her best reassuring elementary school receptionist. "I'm going to try to call Genet and see if she can come pick you up."

"'Try?'" The tall woman frowned as she flopped down in one of the retro armchairs.

Annmarie tried to keep her face from souring. "Hosts have a lot on their plates. I'm not sure she'll answer."

The phone began to ring and Annmarie determinedly looked anywhere but at Ava as she prayed for Genet to pick up. Finally there was a click and a bright "Hi-iiiiiiiiiii!" but before she could reply the sing-song voice pushed on.

"Hi-iiiiiiiiiii! Sorry I couldn't answer right now. If you just leave your name and number I'll get back to you soon! Love, Genet!"

There was sound of a blown kiss in between "love" and "Genet" and somehow the smell of cinnamon and sugar. Annmarie readied herself to leave a message when her thoughts were shattered by a loud BEEP and then;

"The voicemail box is full and cannot accept any messages at this time."

"Goodbye."

The line clicked dead as Annmarie stared at the telephone receiver in horror.

"Didn't get her?" Ava asked innocently.

"No."

The handset slid from Annmarie's limp fingers back onto the phone base.

"Could your Host send me back?"

"No, because I don't know where she is!" She immediately regretted the outburst. She was trying her best to remain professional but Annmarie could feel the pressure mounting by the minute. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

She knew of one last number she could try, but it was a number she had promised to never use for professional reasons, a number she shouldn't even have in her current role.

She could think of nowhere else to turn.

Annmarie's fingers felt heavy as they slowly turned the rotary dial, each number a witness to her broken promise. This time she prayed for no answer, but her hopes where dashed when she heard the voice on the other end:

"Finn, Personnel Development."

"Hey Uncle Harv…"

"Ann," the voice hissed in a whisper. "You know better - how calling me looks - and I'm up to eyebrows in shit already today. I'm hanging up."

"I didn't know who else to call!" Annmarie cringed at the pitiful break in her voice and was painfully aware of Ava's stare but Harvey Finn, manager in Harem Hotel's Personnel Development department, stayed on the line.

"What is it?" Her uncle sighed. "Be quick, we've got a four-alarm fire going on up here."

Annmarie was quick. She may have been at the end of her rope, but she wasn't going to let this chance slip away. As she outlined her problem she noticed her uncle seemed to be growing more and more invested, several times asking her to repeat parts. It sounded like he was taking notes.

"Ok, I've got good news and bad news AM," her uncle finally said. “The good news is you aren't alone; whatever's going on with your season is happening all over the place. We've got multiple reports of the same or similar situations from multiple seasons, though admittedly this is the first missing Host I've heard of. Anyway, this is currently everyone's Number One Priority to sort out."

"The bad news is we aren't sure how long this is going to take to resolve. Honestly, we're still trying to figure out the sheer scope of all this."

Annmarie chewed on her bottom lip. "What do we do in the meantime? How are we going to get by without a Host?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Hey Ann, you sure your Host isn't on set?"

"Positive. Why?"

There was another pause, longer this time.

"Because someone is currently tapped into the Host power reserves."

Annmarie's heart skipped a beat. The way her day was going she already knew who it had to be.

******

"Wait, so I currently have the powers of a Host?" Ava Soto asked, dumbfounded.

The petite brunette behind the desk nodded slowly. She was currently looking at Ava like she was a bomb that could go off at any minute. Ava wasn't sure she could blame her.

"We think it's temporary," the girl squeaked. "Somehow you took the place of Ava, the Host of this season, and got her powers along with it."

"We think once we return you to your own season your connection to that power will be removed."

Ava looked down at her hands, slowly opening and closing them. As a personal trainer she was fairly physically strong and she liked that, but now she had power that vastly outstripped her wildest dreams.

It terrified her.

The Host from the season Ava came from certainly wasn't cruel by any stretch of the imagination, but Genet had still displayed the ability to reshape her and her friend's bodies and even minds. Based on what Ava's friend Felicity had told her there where Hosts out there willing to do even worse.

And now Ava had that power.

"I don't want it." Ava looked up and locked eyes with the nervous assistant. "I'm worried I'll hurt someone. You can take it away."

"I'm afraid," the bespectacled girl began hesitantly, "I'm afraid it doesn't work like that…"

"The power is tied to the position of ‘Host.’ Since you currently have that position it's linked to you."

Ava closed her eyes and took a long steadying breath. "What if I mess something up? What if I mess some body up?"

"My understanding is that using the power is fairly intentional. I don't think it will just react to your thoughts or desires."

"So as long as I don't intend to use it I won't?"

"Again, my understanding is yes. Personally I've never wielded anything like that before."

The phone on the girl's desk suddenly rang, leaving Ava to take stock of herself while the assistant answered it. She didn't feel any different. Was ultimate cosmic power supposed to? Any thought of testing it filled her with cold dread. She could already imagine Felicity chiding her for having all this might at her fingertips and doing nothing with it. Maybe she could summon herself a drink or something just to say she did? But then Ava envisioned herself flooding the whole office and dropped the idea.

Ava's eyes drifted over to the assistant who was still on the phone, frowning. Despite their rocky introduction it was clear the poor girl was trying her best to make some sense of what was going on.

I wish I knew her name. I feel a little bad not knowing it.

And then the name just appeared in her mind: Annmarie. It wasn't like telepathy or a mental whisper - one second she didn't know and the next she did.

Is that it? That wasn't…terrible…I guess…

Annmarie hung up the phone with a sigh. Her day apparently wasn't getting any easier.

"More bad news?" Ava asked. The assistant sadly shook her head.

"That was the concierge for the Ambassador Hotel where our cast are staying. We're missing a contestant and have somehow picked up another stranger. He couldn't get up with our Host and so he called me."

Ava thought long and hard.

"Do you think I could send them and myself back to our own seasons?"

Annmarie's mouth fell open. It open and closed uselessly for a few times before she finally found her voice again.

"I don't think I can recommend against that enough. Trying to facilitate passage between two different seasons is a major undertaking for even an experienced Host. If you messed it up you could end up in some very unpleasant places outside of reality itself."

Ava nodded slowly as Annmarie slumped back in her chair.

"Simon said the harem members are about ready to revolt down there and he's afraid the situation is going to get nasty. I can't do anything about it because I have to man the phones in case someone calls us with news or a solution."

"I could go," Ava volunteered, drawing a sideways glance from the assistant. "It doesn't look like there's anything I can do to help here, and maybe hearing from someone in the same boat will help reassure the other lost person."

"It's better then nothing I guess…" Annmarie conceded. "They've gathered in the hotel's dining hall, Simon's not convinced they're not barricading the entrance. Can you find your own way there?"

Ava nodded as she stood. Finally something she could do instead of contemplating her recent apotheosis. As Annmarie began to field another call Ava strode purposefully out of the studio office, took a deep breath of the warm outside air…

And realized she had no idea where to go.

She turned, but discovered the office door had locked behind her. Poor Annmarie had already been on the verge of pulling her hair out, and Ava figured it best if she could leave the harried assistant alone for now. The office was on what looked like a Hollywood studio backlot. Ava had never been on one before, but she had seen enough movies about movies to recognize one. Unfortunately nothing within eyeshot looked like a hotel.

Searching the set at random seemed like a losing proposition. Ava had no idea how big it was, and she knew the island her own season was set on was fairly substantial. Probably why Genet teleported everywhere.

Could I do that? Teleport?

Ava's gut reaction was no, it was a terrible idea, but the longer she thought about it the more she second-guessed herself. She wouldn't be leaving the set so she shouldn't be running the risk of falling out of reality and besides, finding out Annmarie's name had gone smooth enough.

However the final deciding factor was imaging the poor girls from this season, suddenly missing a friend and finding a stranger amongst them. Ava wanted to help them, to reassure them that things where being taken care of. If nothing else she would try for them.

Ava closed her eyes and tried to channel her thoughts. The Ambassador Hotel dining hall, she thought and was gone.

******

"What the hell was that?!" Robin yelled.

Dorsia, the Ambassador Hotel's in-house restaurant, was currently a scene of total chaos. The day had started well enough until Sarah had come down for breakfast with a strange girl no one had ever seen before and then informed everyone that her normal roommate, Bailey, was nowhere to be found. That was enough to set everyone's teeth on edge, but what had really thrown fuel on the fire was when no one could get up with their Host, Ava.

Ava was nobodies' friend - she had made that quite clear herself - but she still had that same stabilizing influence that any tinpot dictator had. Sure the situation might be terrible but at least someone was in charge, right? Only now no one was in charge, and if no one was running the show than what becomes of the cast?

Anarchy, apparently. Sarah had tried to make an appeal for patience until they had more information, but the slim blonde was quickly drowned out by baseless speculation. Robin had pointed out that while Ava was their abductor and kidnapper she was also presumably their only way home. This sent Samantha spiraling and the poor girl was now rapidly muttering in Spanish while hugging herself and rocking back and forth in her chair. Chloe was trying to comfort the new girl when Cassandra walked in with the Master. Robert fell in with Robin and the two of them were soon building worse and worse hypothetical situations while Cassandra fretted over what "cancellation" of their season would look like. Sarah tried to rein everyone in, which of course had the opposite effect, and drew her into a four-sided argument with Robin/Cassandra/Robert.

Abruptly dropped into the middle of all of this was a very tall, very muscular, very naked woman.

She literally appeared in mid-air, before falling to the ground with a yelp and a flurry of limbs and long black hair. Before anyone could make sense of what they were seeing she was just as suddenly gone, shocking the room into silence.

Momentarily.

"What the hell was that?!" Robin yelled.

"I think it was a person?" Cassandra ventured.

"Yeah, no shit it was a person! But how? Why?! Are people just appearing and disappearing for no reason now?!"

"Her name is Hailey," Chloe said. Robin spun, wide-eyed until she found the petite blonde sitting next to the unexpected addition from Sarah's bedroom.

"Cool, great." Robin sputtered. "Does she know what's going on?"

Chloe's retort was interrupted by the sudden reappearance of the tall, muscular, and this time clothed, woman.

"Sorry about earlier!" She chirped. "Turns out you have to think about teleporting your clothes along with you."

The group stood in stunned silence as they took in the fit Japanese woman that had now materialized out of thin air for the second time.

"And you are?" Sarah finally challenged.

"Oh! I'm Ava. Ava Soto."

"You're not our Ava though, are you?" Chloe asked.

"Nope, sorry." Ava said with a shrug of her muscular shoulders. "But I came down here to let you know that they're working on fixing the problem."

Robert and his harem exchanged glances.

"I think you'd better start at the beginning," Robert said. "It sounds like you might have a better idea that we do about what's going on."

Ava filled the group in about her own unexpected arrival and what Annmarie had learned thus far.

"Ok, but that doesn't explain your arrival in this room," Sarah pointed out as Ava wrapped up her story. "Unless you're now being unexpectedly transported within the season.”

"I, uh…" The young woman's cheeks grew slightly red. "ImayhaveAva'sHostpowers."

The silence that followed was deafening.

"What," Robin finally said.

"I said I have-"

"Yeah no, I got that, it's just… what."

Ava shrugged her shoulders, now painfully aware of the stares she was getting.

"Have you tried doing anything with them?" Samantha had finally stopped rocking, though she still had her legs clasped to her chest.

"Just teleporting here…and I used them to learn the assistant’s name without asking."

"Do you think…could you send us home?" Sarah asked quietly.

"Or do something about our transformations?" Chloe continued, her eyes drifting to Robin.

Ava quickly shook her head.

"No, sorry. I don't know if I could and honestly I'm too nervous to try. Teleporting here didn't go as planned, I couldn't forgive myself if I accidentally made things worse for you."

There was some grumbling, but the group seemed to accept that answer.

"So now what?" Hailey groused. "We just sit around until somebody fixes this?"

"It seems that way," Sarah replied, as she pulled a chair out from the table and sat down. "Care to join us Ava? Unless you have somewhere else to be."

"I wish we were back on my season," Ava said as she found her own chair. "We could play a game to pass the time."

Hailey perked up at this. "What's your favorite game?"

"Well I enjoy several, but my friends and I have been on a big Wonders: The Collection kick recently.

"I haven't heard of that one before," Hailey said. "How do you play?"

"Well, you have a deck of cards that's a mixture of locations, abilities, and summoned creatures. You play the locations to generate mana so you can play ability and creature cards."

Samantha frowned, "That sounds an awful lot like Magic: The Gathering."

"Magic the what?"

"The trading card game? It's almost exactly what you just described."

"I can't say that I've heard of it before," Ava replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Is it a knock-off or something?"

"It's one of the most popular trading card games in the world! I mean, beside Pokemon."

"Poka-mon?" Ava asked confused. Samantha was beside herself.

"Ok, even my grandmother knows Pokemon. Little monsters kept in balls? You collect them and duel other people's Pokemon."

"Oh!" Ava's face lit up. "You mean Pod-sters, the Pod Monsters!”

Samantha was apoplectic, but before she could explode Robin stepped in, holding her hands out between the two.

"Whoa, hey - hold on there Queen of the Nerds. Ava, where do you come from? Before the show."

"Washington, D.C.," Ava frowned. Samantha begin to sputter again but Robin shot her a look.

"In the United States?"

"Yeah, where else?"

"And how many states are there?"

"Fifty-seven."

Samantha finally stopped muttering as her eyes shot wide while Robin and Sarah exchanged a glance.

"Don't you mean fifty?" Chloe asked.

"No, fifty-seven."

Robin let out a long whistle. "Well, that explains it, but the not the way I expected. Guys I think Ava's not just from a different season, but I think she's also originally from a different dimension than ours. That's why she doesn't know your references Samantha, her media is different from ours."

"Wow, Ava marveled, "That's so weird."

"YOU'RE the weird one," Samantha muttered.

"Well, whatever you call it, I wish I had my cards with me." Ava said. "Then we could play a game."

"Uhhh, you have reality altering powers," Hailey pointed out. "Couldn't you just magic some up?"

"I guess, but what if something goes wrong?"

"I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Cassandra said. "Besides it sounds like a fun way to spend a day."

Ava nodded, closed her eyes and began to concentrate. She wasn't sure the closed eyes were actually necessary, but she figured the less distractions the better. She envisioned the decks of cards, sitting back in her cottage on Genet's island. She needed eight individual decks, each one centered around a legendary hero.

Ava could feel a slight breeze begin to tug at her bangs. Someone was saying something but she kept her focus on the cards. The breeze began to pick up, which should have been her first clue that something was going wrong, but Ava had her intention firmly fixed on the cards.

Ava held out her hand, palm up. She wasn't sure how she knew to do that, but she did and she was rewarded when she felt a small weight settle in her palm. Her fingers closed around the rough edges of the cards and she somehow knew the work was complete. She eagerly opened her eyes and was rewarded with the sight of the cards she had already felt stacked neatly in her hand.

"I did it!" Ava exclaimed excited.

"Yeah, you sure did." Robin said from somewhere off to her side. "Question is what, exactly, did you do?"

Ava blinked and it was only then that she realized she was no longer in the dining hall. She was standing in what could only be described as an arena. Ancient stone steps led down to a broad sunken floor while four stone plinths stood on either side of the floor, overlooking it. The ring was well lit with a series of torches, but everything beyond was only inky blackness.

"Oh no…" Ava's hands shot up and covered her mouth. "Oh no oh no oh no oh no."

"Is everyone ok?" Sarah called out. The chorus of positive (but confused) replies finally gave Ava the courage to look for her new companions. Each one was standing behind one of the plinths, alive and healthy but not unchanged.

Standing at the plinth directly across the sunken floor from Ava was Sarah, only instead of the neat blazer and pressed pants that she had been wearing the tall blonde was now dressed in a brown duster, white shirt, a gun belt complete with revolver, and a black cowboy hat. As Ava continued to stare, text seemed to materialize around Sarah; "Ellen Mckenzie - Vengeful Daughter" and a little heart with the number forty next to it.

Sarah was too busy examining her new outfit to notice Ava's stare. When Ava looked away the text faded, but as soon as she fixed her gaze on Sarah for anything longer then a few seconds it would reappear.

Ava's gaze swept across the rest of the arena and she found that each person had a similar information box to Sarah, but the names, titles, and wardrobes differed wildly.

Samantha was clad in black pants and a bright red jacket with a golden pin fixed to her chest. Her box read "Lieutenant Saavik - Command Trainee."

Robin was wearing a long white lab coat that contrasted strongly with her dark gothic makeup. She was "Victor Frankenstein - Monster Maker."

Chloe was in a gray blazer, matching pencil skirt, and a solid cream shirt. "Clarice Starling - Persistent Investigator."

Cassandra now wore a knee length long-sleeved dress with ruffles up the front and was apparently"Phyllis Dietrichson - Duplicitous Wife".

Hailey, the other interloper, was wearing a pair of green coveralls. Her tag read "Ellen Ripley - Determined Survivor."

Last but certainly not least was Robert. He looked deeply uncomfortable in a rough leather tunic, linen pants, and a long gray cloak. He was "Aragorn - Wandering Heir."

It was only then that Ava noticed her own clothing had changed. She was now wearing a loose white shirt, leather jacket, and a brown fedora.

"Hey, can you guys see words when you look at someone?" Cassandra asked. "What is that?"

"It's the movie character we're each dressed up as." Samantha replied. "I guess "Montana Jones" is Ava's dumb version of "Indiana Jones."

"Hey! That's one of my favorites!" Ava "Montana Jones - Adventuring Archaeologist" objected.

"The character descriptions all sound like Magic cards." Hailey said. "Are…are we the cards?"

"Nah, I got a stack of cards right here." Robin replied, picking a thick stack of cards off of her plinth and waving them so everyone could see them. "But I do think we're part of the game somehow. Dr. Jones has some explaining to do."

It took Ava a minute to realize that Robin was referring to her.

"I'm not sure. I just focused on the card decks."

"Actually, this feels like a game of MTG: Commander." Samantha mused. She sighed as Hailey nodded but everyone else just gave her a blank stare.

"Commander differs from normal Magic games by picking a character card to serve as your deck's 'commander.' You then build the deck around them."

"So you think each of us is serving as a commander?" Sarah asked, running her fingers along the edges of the stack of cards in front of her before turning her blue eyes upon Ava. "So then what now? How do we get out?"

Ava knew somehow. She had stopped asking herself how she knew, she just knew. That didn't make her feel any better about the answer though.

"We play."