Mother

“I’m not sure I’ve taught you that one.” My mother called from behind me, close to our home.

With a sigh, I turned and sheathed my sword into my belt. Without looking up at her I moved towards the house with the sword swaying at the hip. “Finished all the move sets earlier. Just trying something different.” I explained, avoiding eye contact as I moved past her.

Her hand gripped my forearm in a vice-like grip, stopping me in place. She didn’t look mad, just disappointed, tired, and slightly hurt. “Talien… that is no way to greet your mother who has been gone for three days.”

I paused and looked up into her cerulean blue eyes that I had inherited. She seemed concerned, which in turn made me feel awful. There was no love lost between us. I was well aware that she endangered herself every day in order for us to live a good life. I knew that she dreaded leaving for days at a time. There was no doubt that I was his mother’s everything. There was also no doubt that I had missed her.

Perhaps that was why I was in such a state. Likewise, my mother was my everything. All I did was for her. To make her proud, make her life easier, and make her happy. She was my purpose and I had been missing that these last few days.

But also, that was no way to live. If I lived my entire life with her being my purpose then I would be happy, but life would not always be so certain. One must be happy with only themselves, for that, is the only thing guaranteed. I had lost my father. It pained me terribly to think about it, but I knew the chance was there with my mother as well. What would I do without her?

One of her soft hands extended to my face and tucked a sweaty strand of hair behind my ear. “My sweet boy, all brooding and serious… What troubles you?”

I leaned my head against her hand that remained on my cheek and gazed through teary eyes upon her soft and motherly face. As soon as the first tear fell, I was pulled into an embrace. Just shorter than her, my rested his forehead against her chin. I was breaking and needed her.

“Oh, darling.” She cooed quietly as she kissed the top of my forehead and caressed the back of my head. “I missed you terribly. I am sorry I took so long.” Painful sobs wrenched out of me as I shook in her arms. Years of pain escaped me. Her embrace tightened. “This is more than missing me, isn’t it?” She asked in a whisper.

All I could do was nod. She didn’t move or take any immediate action. In typical mother fashion, she knew that I just needed to let it all out. We stood there in the embrace as I let the sobs out. Tears for my father. Tears for myself, and tears for thoughts of the future. I had no vision of my future and that was utterly terrifying. All I knew was that I could not keep doing this. I needed adventure. I needed purpose beyond caring for my mother. I could care for her and do something else at the same time. The moment ended when she attempted to lift me off my feet. I pushed back and away. The look of confusion and hurt upset me, but this was needed.

She seemed to have understood. “Let me make you food and then we can talk.” I nodded and we moved inside our wooden cabin. “Light the lanterns for me?”

Silently, I obeyed and lit up the small cabin. She went to the kitchen area and pulled some ingredients from the cabinet. I moved to the table and sat. Neither of us spoke as she made a meat stew and cut up bread. It seemed she had gotten home a bit ago as her armor was already off and hanging on its stand. Occasionally she’d look my way with what seemed to be nervousness, worry, and curiosity. Once done, she put bowls in their spots and sat down to eat.

We eyed one another standoffishly as we ate. She seemed hungry and likely hadn’t stopped to eat on her way home. I was only peckish due to my ever-growing nervousness. This would be the first time I would tell his mother I wanted more. I prayed to Frey that she wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

Finally, she pushed her bowl forward, signaling she was done. “I am sorry for the prolonged absences I have had recently. The Queen’s Hand has been using me more and more for quests. I believe she thinks highly of the work I do.”

I shook my head, “That’s not what’s wrong mother… well… I-I don’t know quite-“

She cut me off with a frown. “You can be frank with me Tal. Have I upset you?”

“No.” I quickly responded. “It’s… me. I’ve been having personal issues lately.”

Her eyes widened in horror. “Oh, honey! If this is about our relationship and nightly-“

“No!” I blurted out in embarrassment. “It’s not that either, mother. I love you, I really do. I am just struggling with… purpose, I suppose.” She opened her mouth but I quickly sped up my explanation. “I am happy. Or at least I have been until recently.” He met her eyes with passion. “You are my everything, mother. I do everything because of you, but I realize I cannot live happily and successfully with you as my sole purpose. I need more. I’m an adult now. I want to put my training to good use. To help fight, protect, or… help you.”

She looked down at her bowl for a moment before sighing and meeting my eye “It’s a dangerous world, Talien.” One look at my disappointed face made her sigh again. “I know. That is why you feel this way, and why you are so nervous to talk about this. I’ve known since your last birthday that this day was coming and I am sorry for being so overly protective of you.” Tears welled in her eyes, shattering my heart. “I just cannot afford to lose you.”

“You’ve trained me well. You will not lose me.” I offered.

She smiled and wiped her tears. “I did, but you yourself have practiced and perfected everything that I have taught you. I am so proud of you Talien. I should have said this before, but I am so proud of the man you have become.”

“Thank you,” I responded trying to sound proud despite my quivering chin.

“So, what do you want to do? Be a scholar? You are very wise and take very much after your father intellectually.”

I laughed, “Perhaps in another life, mother. You have trained me too well in martial skills. I wish to help people that way.”

A grin grew upon her face. “Then join me.”

“What? Really?” I asked excitedly. “I thought you go alone?”

“I am very serious. I only go alone because I think it’s easier. Helps me maintain focus and allows me to hurry back to you.”

“What do you really even do?” I asked curiously. I knew she did quests for advisors of the Queen but never knew what that entailed. She didn’t talk about details very much.

She shrugged, “Whatever the hand wishes. Sometimes it’s errands, sometimes it’s resolving disputes between lesser nobles, but mainly it’s monster hunting or dealing with band-“ She stopped herself even though I knew what she was going to say. It was a topic they avoided speaking about or bringing up. “Criminals.”

It sounded like adventure and that was what I sought. “You’d take me?”

She nodded eagerly. “Of course. It would allow us to stay close and protect one another. And I’ve been getting slightly harder quests recently and could use another sword.” When I didn’t respond right away she continued. “Think of it as a family business. We work together and then one day you take it over in my stead and work for the Hand or perhaps even the Queen one day.”

“Fighting monsters and evil men?” I asked, starting to grow excited.

My mother stood up and moved towards me, “Oh yeah. Orcs, demons, goblins, evil satyrs, drows, corrupt witches. All kinds of evil that threaten these lands.”

My heart raced in excitement, already knowing the answer. “I would love!-“

A finger to his lips cut him off as she shushed him. “No, no, no. I won’t hear an answer from you tonight. This is a very important decision for my precious boy to take. I do not want to **** you into any hasty decisions. This is your future.” Looking up at her, I knew where this was going. She looked down upon me with sultry and hungry eyes. Immediately, I was drawn in and under her control. “Now… my overprotectiveness and stubbornness harmed my darling boy. Do you have it in your heart to forgive your mother and allow her to make up for it?” Her hand caressed my face with incredibly light touches.