Most Glorious Discovery

"Ughhh...." Brandon dry heaves a few more times as the hot wet water of the shower sprays down all over his naked body, doing it's best to cleanse himself of his intoxicated state. "What the fuck..." he continues to groan out over and over again as he stands in the water with his hands on the walls, holding him steady.

The football player moves his hands around his body, wiping everything off as best as he can, not using any type of loofah, not using any time of soap at all, just water and his hands. After getting his entire body he reaches forward and turns the water off. "So good!" he says aloud as he steps out of the shower.

Without even drying himself out he leaves the master bathroom and goes back to his room and is hit with a wall of stench. "Fuck that stinks!" he tells nobody as he dry heaves again before immediately walking, stumbling a few times back to his dresser where he finds a tshirt and throws that over his body "Nice!" he's happy as can be as he rolls it down his body.

As he turns to the left and looks into a full body mirror there he is, still dripping wet standing in a tshirt that is now clinging to his naked body, pantless with his cock and ass hanging out "Guess I'm freeballing tonight!" he tells himself as he nods his head and grins happily at the mirror.

"Ashley!" he says as he turns around, zig zagging towards the door of the room to go find his girlfriend.

Brandon leaves the room and turns down the hallway, to make his way towards the living room to see if his friends are there. "Oh Ash!" he says again, not very loud but in a steady voice.

The pantless man gets to the open style living room and sees nobody out here yet the music is still on "Oh. The music!" he starts to shimmy his hips back and forth, dancing by himself in place before his stomach growls and tells him no. "Ooh, the music!" he smiles again before his head turns to the kitchen.

"FOOD!!!!" he almost yells out as he lunges forward, falling to the ground and almost bashing his skull into the side of the island. "Whoops! Stupid kitchen why are you so slippery!" he forms a fist and punches the ground "OUCH!" he yelps out as he shakes his fist, trying to get the pain to leave.

Eventually he gets to the fridge and opens it up, glancing around inside. "Beer, beer and more beer. Where's the beef!!!" he shrugs "All I want is some beef!" it's like he's having a conversation with someone but alas, nobody is around.

Pulling the freezer open his eyes go wide and the biggest smile forms on his face "FUCKING PIZZA ROLLS!!!!! YES!!!!" his hand immediately goes to the large yellow ninety count bag of pepperoni pizza rolls.

As he spins around, he doesn't close either the fridge or the freezer but moves over to the sink where those eight dinner plates were dried by now. He grabs one out and sets it down before using both his hands to tear open the bag "GIVE ME!!!!" his voice goes gruff as he tears the bag out.

With a large ripping sound the bag explodes, causing frozen pizza rolls to fly all over the kitchen "FUCK!" he exhales as at least seventy of the pizza rolls scatter around the kitchen. He looks around in shock, seeing the wasted bite sized pieces on the floor "Stupid!" his eyes look at the bag where about twenty are inside "Good enough!" he grins ear to ear as he dumps the remaining of them onto his plate. He tosses the now empty bag on the floor as he turns to the microwave.

"This is like..." his eyes try to focus on the rolls "I dunno fifty?" he nods to himself as his vision is blurring things, causing it to look double "So like, fuck it, ten minutes." he shoves the plate into the microwave and punches in ten minutes and hits the start button. The light and buzzing sound goes off from the microwave, signaling it's begun to cook.

"Now!" he turns around, looking at the fridge still open as well as the mess all over "Huh. Who did that?" he questions himself "Dumb fucks leaving shit over. I'm not cleaning that up." he grumbles out as he turns to the living room. "I got like twenty minutes before I eat. Fucking twenty minutes is a long time. What the fuck am I going to do..." he's completely forgot about Ashley at this point.

As he stumbles forward into the back of the couch, trying to grip it with his hands "Just a minute." he pats the couch as if he's talking to a friend "Okay, I'll lay down just for a minute." he nods while giving the couch a serious look.

He throws his body over the back end of the couch, rolling down into the cushions before his body bounces off it, his roll continues and he smashes hard into the wood floor "Ouch!" he looks at the couch "You jerk!" he tells it, "But the floor...the floor is..." his eyes begin to close "Floor is..."

His eyes shoot open wide as he's on his side, looking at the couch "Fuck you couch!" he says "I like the floor now!" his eyelids begin to shut "Fucking couch." they closer further "I love this floor....." his voice trails off as his eyes close.