Modeus gets some romance advice from the girls

Modeus's lackluster, same-old same-old date had burnt up a lot of the night already, so she needed to get on track and do some applied studies. From what she heard, Google was the best place to get answers for this sort of thing, but if she went on the internet, she'd just get distracted with more of her romance stories. She needed quick answers. For her, the best way would be to poll the other residents of the house.

Lucifer was resting on the couch, her legs shifted in such a way that she was easily occupying over 50% of it, when Modeus's horns and trailing cartoon hearts revealed her over the back headrest. The CEO of hell gave a deep sigh, swiping her tail irritably against the seat cushion, then turned her head just enough to show that she was listening.

"Lucy... You spend all day watching a lot of romance movies... What sorts of things do humans do when they're... romantically interested?" Modeus questioned quietly, gripping the couch's back with unseen force.

"I do not spend all day watching movies!" Lucifer complained, now twisting in her seat to face the offender. Her brow knit and her sharp teeth grit together as she sensed just how annoying this conversation was likely to be. She wanted to get rid of Modeus quickly and get back to the romance movie, the final of a five movie marathon she'd been watching all day. "Ugh. Don't you know anything, Modeus?"

"My ideas are too old-fashioned. I want new and exciting things. Human things..." she whispered, now squeezing the couch hard enough to draw cotton. "Come on. Don't hold back."

The Lustful Demon was a little scary, even to Lucifer, when she got that look in her eyes. The Prideful Demon took a sip of wine to hide her nerves, looking over to the side for someone to pass Modeus off to while she did. When she found no one, she gave another deep sigh, then tilted her head up to look in Modeus's heart-flashing eyes. "Roses. Roses are romantic. Humans love roses, especially from a loved one. They have nothing to do with sex, but they are, you know... the purest expression of love and all that rot."

"So you'd be really happy if the Helltaker gave you roses?"

A red glow suddenly overtook Lucifer's face as she sunk deeper into her seat. "Th-This is about you, not me! How would you feel about it if he gave them to you?!"

"... Hm. I think I'd better take the initiative. He's got too many girlfriends to guarantee he'll give me roses. I'll give him the roses."

"My. How progressive. Now can I get back to my movie?"

Wordlessly, Modeus retreated from the couch, leaving Lucifer to her movie.

"Oh, drat! I missed it? Did they kiss?! Now I'll never know!"

"R-R-Romance?! You're asking me how being in love feels? Is that it?!"

Azazel pressed her notepad tightly over her chin and mouth, failing to hide her expression of bewilderment as Modeus questioned her for tips in the realm of love. The angel, caught in the middle of organizing her cork-board with all of her notes from the day, was something of a newbie in that regard, but she did realize that, in another way, she was the one in the house best suited to help Modeus and just as importantly, to keep everyone else out of harm dealing with her. The average person would assume they needed to give Modeus some really kinky advice, with her being the Lustful Demon and all. Azazel knew it was just the opposite: Modeus knew everything there was to know about lust and needed just the opposite end of the spectrum. She needed to know about puppy love.

Modeus nodded, her heart-filled eyes seeming glued wide open as she watched Azazel's every move as warily as though she was love-struck.

The angel gulped, pressing her back up against the window in a flight response. No pressure... "Romance... As I understand it from my own studies... It gives you a fuzzy feeling! That's right. A soft, fuzzy, comfortable feeling that makes you feel like you want to fall asleep in your lover's arms. Fluffy and fuzzy."

"Fluffy... and fuzzy... That's how romance feels?"

"Y-Yep! Not that I have a lot of experience or anything, ha ha ha ah-heh..."

"Not sloppy and wet then?"

"No! That's um... that's not 'romance' really."

"Not heavy and life-threatening?"

"That's definitely not romance." Azazel nervously felt around for the latch to open the window behind her, sweating bullets while she watched Modeus slowly continue approaching until the two girls were nearly breast-to-breast.

"Fluffy and fuzzy," Modeus repeated, pressing one finger to her own lower lip and staring thoughtfully at one of Azazel's many photographs of the Helltaker pinned upon the corkboard. "I'll think about that. Thank you, angel."

"My name's Azazel... Y-You don't know my name? We've been living together for-"

Modeus slowly swiveled her way out of the room, on the hunt for her next piece of romantic advice. Things were starting to take shape... But could true love really be so simple?

The whole house was mostly preparing for sleep at this point, except for Pandemonica, who'd had far too much coffee and thus, despite a whole day of work, stood no chance of sleeping any time soon. As such, she sat in front of her laptop in her room, busily clattering away and making herself even more exhausted. That was just the life of the Tired Demon.

"In short, the quarterly numbers in hell are way up in terms of foot traffic and captive processing. We owe this to a major walkway renovation. Paths are now much more open and rational in its presentation, after having the Helltaker kick all of the rocks out of the areas where people walk. The time to walk from the entrance to Lucifer's office has decreased to the point we're having to station new demons to process all of the new arrivals. The unexpected addition of <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3-"

She squinted her eyes. That last part didn't make any sense. She was getting distracted by something. Pandemonica shut the laptop slightly to see Modeus's disarming stare, wide-eyed, on the other side of it. "Gah!" she shouted, falling back in her chair and spilling her coffee across the carpet.

"Pandemonica. I need your help."

"Do you have any idea what time of the night it is?!"

"Uh oh. You're cranky again. I thought you weren't cranky when you had coffee. I thought you turned into a sadist."

"Well, when I have coffee at this time of night when I should be sleeping, it has the opposite effect," the Tired Demon grumbled, fixing her glasses back onto her face and straightening her skirt as she lifted herself back into her seat. "Why are you bothering me?"

"I'm in love."

Pandemonica's eyebrows lowered and her scowl deepened. "Not interested. Pass. It's not you. I tell this to anybody who asks-- I have too much work to-"

"No. Not with you. With the Helltaker, obviously."

The bespectacled demon slapped her forehead with one hand. It really was way too late at night. She wasn't thinking straight. "Well, yeah. We are all his girlfriends, right? So why are you bugging me about it?"

"I need tips. What do romantic partners value more than anything? Besides sex."

Pandemonica slowly wiped up the stain on her carpet and clicked her teeth in agitation. She knew that any genuine advice she gave now was just going to be misinterpreted in some way by this ditzy demon, but she wanted Modeus out of her hair as quickly as possible. No one could really blame her for what happened as a result. "Transparency. Humans value transparency in relationships. That's the one crucial thing that changes when you enter a relationship-- you share things with that person you wouldn't with ordinary people. You show them the sides of yourself you normally hide."

"Transparency... Fluffy... Roses..."

"It sounds like you've been getting some really dubious advice so far and I'm really sorry for the Helltaker but it's also not my problem and I aaaaaam sooooo tiiiiiiired-"

Pandemonica collapsed on the floor, landing face down and ass up on the coffee stain she'd been trying to clean. Her buzz had finally worn off. She'd fallen all the way into the role of the Tired Demon and was now dead asleep on her carpet.

Modeus nodded in understanding. "Thank you. You really are smart. I think I finally know how to take my relationship with the Helltaker to the next level." She left Pandemonica lying there with the door open and returned to her room to get to her work with single-minded focus, needing neither rest nor sleep. Lust was a powerful motivating force... and love perhaps more so than that.