Mission Briefs

I found Mitsuru largely in the same position as when I left her. She was sucking on some kind of candy with her eyes glued to a monitor and wrappers on the floor around her. She swiveled around when I entered the room.

"Jason," she said matter-of-factly, "We need to do your debrief from your trip to Takane's world. What happened, from beginning to end."

I was already irritated with her, so this was a good opportunity to vent. I told her everything. How Takane and I fucked a bunch times in a time loop, how I was casually seducing every woman and some of the fanboys in the entire world, how a famously lesbian heroine decided she was straight only for me in the entire multiverse, and how her AI generated a world wherein the main heroine's mother was more in love with me than her own husband and was believed to be carrying my baby.

Her response was unsatisfactory, "Sounds like everything went as intended, then."

That irked me, "Why would I want to cuck some guy I've never met? Why does the AI send me to a world where I'm everyone's fetish?"

Mitsuru looked away, "I-it's a mystery. Perhaps you're just that handsome."

"No," I replied, "this was different. This was the same shit that keeps your AI naming me after birds. I hate birds. Birds shit on things. Stop the deflection immediamente."

She looked embarrassed and grumbled a lot, "Fine. But you can't tell anyone else," I nodded in reply, "I'm kind of lazy, so every one of my systems are on the same server, hence how you're being named after birds because keeping all of my defense subroutines categorized by bird names is easy for me."

"Right..." I knew a little about that already.

"Well, and you've probably guessed this already, I write a lot of Erotica in my free time." I had guessed that. "I have several chronicles of the same male character going around and fucking girls right out of high school and sleeping other peoples' wives."

I lightly karate chopped her head, "So your plan to get me an interdimensional harem was actually to fulfill your fantasies of some guy you know fucking everything that moves. This is working as you intended it to."

"ANYWAY!" she whimpered, embarrassed, "I have no intention of rewriting the dimensional search AI. This facet of the search could be beneficial."

"Beneficial, huh?" I said, deadpan.

"This way your desirability for the heroines is even higher. Not to mention that some heroines will be impossible to acquire without them having previously been in love with some people. Sorry, Jason, but you need to get used to the idea of stealing women from people."

...
It stung, and wasn't exactly satisfying, but it actually made sense. I decided to table the conversation for now. It was almost 2:00. "So whose wife am I stealing now?"

She cleared her throat, "Well if I've programmed this one right she might not be married. Your targets for the day are multiple mechanics and scientists. Prepare yourself, Jason. You'll be running on empty by the end of this." I sighed and apologized to my dick on behalf of my dopamine and the people of Earth.

"Your first target is one Bulma Briefs, sex demon and technical support of the Dragon Ball universe," Bulma, huh? That one made sense. She makes crazy stuff, Mitsuru and her could churn out some gnarly tech. "You are NOT to bring home Android 21, Jason. I've seen your porn folders and she's off-limits on this expedition. It's looking like my assessment about character power levels is what requires power draw, and Android has more potential energy inside her than I know how to get out of this solar system."
That's fair. Knowing what I know about 21 and Mitsuru's AI, however, 21's going to probably be some Jason-seeking yandere and not take no for much of an answer.

"What are you going to be doing while I'm gone?" I asked out of curiosity.

She pulled up some floorplan blueprints, "I'm trying to make some dorm rooms for your women. This will likely not be your permanent place of residence, but since the rift can't be moved for now, these will be our digs for a while. And since you're off fucking women other than them I can at least make them comfortable."

I decided not to take the bait, "So, are we ready? Any surprises waiting for me this time?" And then I asked her again, "I'm not... NTR'ing Vegeta here, am I?" That thought concerned me greatly.

"You shouldn't be," she replied, "the prompt I made should take you to a late 40s-ish Bulma. Basically how she is at the end of the most recent movie, but again in such a timeline wherein she never marries Vegeta."

"How does that work out with Trunks?" I had to ask.

"You'll have to ask her, but Trunks shouldn't exist here if I did everything right."

I shrugged. I'd probably be dead if she did things wrong. But hey, I guess I have a baby on the way so at least I'll have a legacy.

There I was again, sitting on the probe. It occurred to me I'd be seeing a lot of this room from now on unless a better method of interdimensional travel is discovered soon. I guess Bulma might be helping with that. I rubbed my eyes. I didn't have a lot to go on, here. At least with Takane's world I could just treat it like Tokyo, but DBZ is an entirely different beast of a world. Weird buildings, unspecified cultures, so on and so forth. Actually, why aren't we just summoning Bulma like we did with Rangiku-
"ACTIVATING RIFT!" came a robot voice I didn't expect. Must be some upgrade Mitsuru made for fanfare.

"Wait, Mi-" I started before the world changed.

I was somewhere else, yet again. It's a jarring experience that you can't properly imagine. It's not like the world turns white and there's a loading screen, the rift does expand and the light of the room bends a bit, but then (to use rhetoric I can easily convey) on the next "frame" I'm already in the next place. If I could compare it to anything, it would be like general anesthesia, where you are awake one moment, then you're waking up in the next. Aside from the whir of machines, it's quite a peaceful experience. It was an open field. The low light indicated that it was probably the early evenin-
Oh. I turned around, and there it was. Seemingly infinite, an enormous green serpent coiled in the sky above me, wreathed in golden light. I say enormous, but that doesn't properly convey it when Shenron completely dwarfs everything around it, and seems to be continuously growing from...

I looked at where Shenron stemmed from, and saw her. In front of me, making eye contact with me now, was Bulma Briefs.

She was wearing a mechanic's outfit, and a surprisingly conservative one at that. A full-body, yellow jumpsuit with short sleeves. It showed off her gray long-sleeved shirt underneath, slightly low-cut to provide tasteful cleavage. She wore orange and black boots which, in tandem with her jumpsuit, slightly showed off her ankles.
She, like Rangiku, was caucasian in this version. That didn't surprise me. Not only is her name composed entirely of English words (fun fact, the Briefs family is all named after underwear and Bulma is a poorly localized "Bloomer") but when you contrast her with Chichi whose design is a mishmash of Chinese and Japanese (I think), Bulma is definitely meant to evoke a feeling of "gaijin". Blue eyes and teal hair in a bobcut, with a pretty complexion and facial structure, but dotted with a wrinkle or two.
What was odd to me was that she wasn't particularly hot. Sure, her facial features were nice, but in DBZ and Super she was the sex appeal. I wasn't getting a lot of that, here.

She had a big dumb smile on her face and began rushing toward me, "IT WOOOOORKED!" she said, tackling me. She wasn't a superhuman unlike Rangiku, so I braced myself and largely caught her, stumbling only slightly. Any harder and I might have fallen back onto the probe. "I've been waiting for EVER to get to make this wish!" Her voice was definitely aged, too. She was definitely the oldest of my girls... at least physically. Maybe I was spoiled by Mafuyu being from an ecchi. Regardless, I'd treat Bulma well. I've no issue with an older woman, especially since I also have younge-

"You have two more wishes."

I jumped, the voice came from everywhere, and reverberated through my insides. Shenron's scary in person, man! Two more? I remembered that Shenron was upgraded in the newest movie, but that was upgraded to 3. Did she wish for... me? It would make sense, but none of the other girls had to.

"Oh right! I forgot about him. Hold on, Jason!" Bulma interjected, "I wanted you to see this happen personally!" Bulma did a twirl for me and walked over to the Dragon Balls again, "Shenron! Grant me eternal youth!"

"W-what?" This was happening for me very quickly.

"Your wish is granted, vain woman."

His eyes flashed red, and an ethereal whine rang across the land. I looked back to Bulma... woah.

She had changed. First of all, she was younger, as her wish implied. The lines on her face were gone and her skin looked generally pretty healthy. Her hair was longer like it was in the earlier parts of DBZ and Dragon Ball classic. But the thing that really stuck out to me was her rack. They were pretty big, now. Maybe a bit bigger than in the anime? I wonder if Mitsuru planned this. The rest of her body followed suit with her hips and butt looking a bit bigger, too. Only her waist remained thin.

She was confused, too. "Shenron! What the hell is this? This is NOT what I looked like when I was younger!" She was clearly bothered by her breasts, bouncing alongside her exclamation to my delight. Her voice was younger, too. She sounded like a college Stacey instead of a middle aged Karen now.

"Would you like me to explain the results of your wish?"

"Yes!" Bulma exclaimed. That Karen growl to her voice was coming back

"Very well."

The dragon cleared his throat in an ominous way.

"Six months ago, you made three wishes as well."

"What? Well, yeah I guess-"

"The contents of which were, and I quote: 'Make my cans bigger, Shenron. The younger girls are laughing at me.'

"Yes, I remember that, but-"

"You also wished for 'buns that would make the girls from those rap music videos jealous.'"

"Okay," she said, embarrassed, "I see your point now-"

"And finally, after a carbohydrate-heavy dessert broke your diet, you wanted your waistline shrun-"

"CAN IT, LIZARDBRAIN! I GET THE PICTURE! MOVE ON!"
"He's kinda sassy, isn't he?" I said, realizing I hadn't spoken in a while. I guess Shenron was getting fed up with being summoned by the same woman repeatedly. He just did a hit job against her while her husbando was standing right here.

"Therefore, these prior wishes were not eliminated when you wished for eternal youth. You are now eternally 23 years old as is the peak of your youth and maturity alongside your prior wishes."

Huh. Was nice of him to clarify even when he's clearly irritated.

"You have one remaining wish. I grow impatient."

Bulma looked at me, "Well, this isn't the romantic meeting I'd been planning, but it's the one we've got. Consider this last wish a kind of wedding gift."

I blinked, not understanding, "Oh, you want me to use the final wish?" I looked at her and up at Shenron, who was making eye contact with me. "Is that okay?" They each nodded.
The only thing I wish I knew was "I-I don't know... I just want to make sure my wives don't regret coming with me," I said, venting my insecurity for the first time. "I'm really faking it until I make it here because I'm semi-responsible since Mitsuru was supposedly concerned at my lack of girlfriend." And desired me to be some ladykiller, if her earlier confession was any indication.

Bulma scoffed, "Well, duh. You didn't even need to say that," It was easy for her to say. She didn't know me. "One look at you and I can tell this is Harem Hero volume 1. A big part of the plot right now is preparing for the initial invasion and learning how to be comfortable with building the Star Harem since you live in some bizarro world where polygamy is looked down upon." Her face beamed. "It's super exciting joining the story this early!"

That sounded entirely accurate. "Really? You're not bothered about that?"

"No, she is entirely correct. Any fan of Harem Hero knows that Jason Starling is cutest in the early volumes before he becomes the sexy Star Emperor of later volumes or the **** King of the dark timeline."

What.

"Oh Shenron! I didn't know you were a HH fan!" Bulma cut in, "You should've told me, we could've talked about it!"

I decided I'd process that later, "Well, how about this," I said, coming up with a cheat code, "Did anything like this happen in your version of Harem Hero? Did I have a wish to make?"

"Approximately halfway through Volume 2 of Harem Hero," Bulma said, puffing up her chest at this trivia, "Jason Starling travels to the universe of Bone and Soul (one of my favorites). Wherein the Old Man of the Dark Tree bestows him a seed of desire that could grant him any one wish of his choosing."

I've... never heard of Bone and Soul. It must be a piece of fiction in this universe, "And... what did I wish for?"

"Generally improved sexual characteristics for keeping the wives happy."

"That's... a little mundane but probably not a bad idea. I was worried I'd need Viagra before long." I furrowed my brow, realizing I was quickly acclimating to conversing with a giant dragon. Shenron looked like he was getting edgy again, so I decided I'd make that my wish, "Well, I probably shouldn't wish for any ki or anything. That'd bankrupt the transport. Let's go with the generally improved sexual characteristics. I can't think of much else at the moment."

Shenron's eyes flashed again.

"Your wish is granted, Your Excellency. Don't forget about me."

I didn't feel any different. but I doubted he was lying to me. I'd find out soon enough regardless.
Shenron vanished in one last flash of golden light, leaving only the dragon balls, which then scattered in seven directions.
I guess I should consider bringing Shenron home next time? I don't know, but he felt lonely and he was a fan of mine.

"You know, that plothole about polygamy always bothered me," said Bulma, breaking the void created by Shenron's disappearance, "I mean look at our physiology; men are clearly meant to have multiple partners while women are supposed to only have one. It seemed like a contrived way of explaining why you're so bothered by multiple women in volume one. No offense." I considered explaining the historical significance of monogamy, but decided against it "So what now? Do you want to take me home with you now or come back to my place for some... coffee?"

I smirked. It was a good enough opportunity as any to try out these new sex skills of mine, "Well, I'm not much of a coffee drinker..."