Might as well

I watched the two blondes approach a life guard. He wore red shorts and a red tank top. He was tall and in great shape and wore sunglasses and a visor. "What happened?" he asked.

"We were robbed!" said one of the girls.

"They took your suits?"

"Yes," said the other, "I mean. well,"

"Well what?"

"One minute we had all of our stuff," said the second blonde, "and the next minute it's gone."

"Including our bikinis!" said the first.

"Did you see who did it?" asked the lifeguard.

"No, it just happened so fast."

"So, you did not see who stripped you of your bikinis?" asked the guard.

"No, it's like they vanished!" said the first blonde.

"Are you two high or drunk?"

"No..."

I stopped time. I walked over and put the first blonde on her knees and put her hand own the lifeguard's shorts and cupped it around his balls. I then put the other blonde's right forefinger into his mouth and put her arm around his neck. I went back and restarted time.

The lifeguard pulled away and tripped and fell backwards. "What the hell is wrong with you two?!" he yelled.

"We don't know!" said the first blonde who was starting to cry.

"We....I....it's all so fucked up!" said the second.