Maybe

You were actually glad to have brought up your worries this soon because it gave you the opportunity to see another side of Madison. After your input, she went to sit on one of the chairs to think. She had her legs crossed and her hands on her lap, a serious expression on her face as she was seemingly lost in thoughts. You could almost see her argue with herself, it was something you liked very much. The fact that she took the time to think and not only defer to others was something you liked very much. A good leader always listens to the input offered but never takes a decision hastily or just goes with what they think others want to hear.

After a little bit, Madison refocused on you. "Let's say I was willing to lower the standard ... a little. What did you have in mind?" She inquired cautiously.

"Well ... First, I want to ask a couple of my old brothers, most are already out and some have their reenlistment coming soon. Every single one of them are solid and I will vouch for them. For one of them, it might cost a little to bring her in but she's worth it. She's working for a private contractor right now and she's paid very well." You said thinking over for an immediate solution.

"Ah, Miss.Rodriguez. I was wondering how long it would take you to try and bring her here. Unfortunately for you, That's not going to happen." Madison cuts in with open resentment. That took you by surprise, first that she knew who you were talking about, and then the apparent hostility directed toward your former second-in-command.

"Something I should know?" You asked with a raised eyebrow. You could tell a venting event was incoming by the fire in her eyes and the flaring of her nostrils.

"You should know everything there is to know about it, John!" She spat angrily. At first, you thought your new boss was jealous, knowing there was never anything between you and your subordinate you were about to tell her when she continued. "She fucking left you to die, I would've thought being tortured for 3 months is enough to fucking put a bullet in that traitor's head let alone not giving her a damn job!" The milf exclaimed angrily. After watching her carefully you could tell she was genuinely angry, with fast upper-torso breathing, tightness in the jaw, and the constriction of her pupils left little room for other interpretation.

You closed your eyes to try and think how to explain to her that she was dead wrong, she must have interpreted your reaction as distress because before you could explain she was already apologizing.

"I'm sorry, I ... I shouldn't have said that. Please forgive me, John." She said softly, all anger had disappeared to be replaced by concern. She probably thought you were still sensitive about what was a really bad and traumatic experience.

Remarkably, you were actually left with very few post-traumatic symptoms after your ordeal. Some bad dreams were almost the extent of your symptoms, you also were left with uneasiness in confined spaces but it was something you could manage pretty well. While some would have full-on panic attacks, you only experienced mild anxiety and could get past it with the help of some breathing technics your shrink had taught you.

"I'm fine, I'm not angry or distraught, or anything like that. But you are wrong, Madison, Rodriguez did exactly what I was expecting of her. She took the lead and made one of the hardest decisions she had ever made in her life, leave me behind so that the rest of our unit could get out alive." You tried to convey that not only you understood your XO decision but you were actually admiring her for it. Leaving someone being is always a gutwrenching thing to do but leaving your CO is even harder, not only you're leaving someone behind but now the weight of command falls on your shoulder.

"I don't expect you to understand, in fact, I think nobody should ever have to understand it. But I will tell you this, the PTSD I got from my time as a P.O.W was nothing compared to the one she got, Madison. Even after I got rescued, I saw her wake up from nightmares in a cold sweat and so panicked she couldn't even breathe. Madison, Michelle relived that moment thousands of times wondering if she had done the right thing, I think if I hadn't survived it? ... ... I think it would have eventually destroyed her." You explained softly to her before taking a sticker tone. "Madison, I understand where you are coming from but ... ... if you ever again imply that she, one of the people I trust more than anyone, deserves any sort of retribution for what happened to me or that she's in any, ways, shapes, or forms responsible? I will walk out of your life without a word, Madison." You said firmly hoping she would understand.

"I understand ... I ... , when we got your unrestricted files I read them and never once thought how difficult it could've been for her, I was just angry and ... I think I just wanted someone to blame. I had been looking into you for some time at that point, I think I got somewhat of a misplaced protective toward you." She defended sheepishly.

"Does that mean you will reconsider hiring her?" You said with a smirk trying to lighten the mood a little before going more serious. "We could really use someone like her, Madi. She's a good shot, knows how to stay cool under pressure, she's able to think on the spot and make the best of bad decisions, and most important of all, she's loyal. I actually think you and her could make very good friends ... well, maybe frenemies since you both are somewhat hotheaded and stubborn." You teased with a little laugh.