Matt and the harem read Marcia and Gina read Cunning Linguist

"See, I knew they wouldn't think I was a nice guy!" Matt complained. "Also, they think I am named after some house dragon or something; I'll have you know it came to my dad while he was riding in a tire when it was being rolled down a hill!"
 
"Well, I am upset; they thought I was boring!" said Jen. "Don't they know I caused you all kinds of problems in the first 15 chapters or so? If I were boring, I would have just tried to blow you all the time."
 
"Ahh, Jen, you did blow me like almost every chapter you were in..." Matt mentioned "Yeah, but I'm your wife, plus I was trying to turn all these girls into slaves for you." She sighed.
 
"Yeah, I really wasn't a fan at first, but after Ash, I kind of just decided we were getting to 8 slaves, so why fight it? I mean, if they said they didn't want to, I wouldn't have turned them into my slaves." Matt said it seriously.
 
"Um...not to nitpick here, Master, but I definitely didn't want to be your ****; maybe fuck you, but not be your forever ****." Madison said. "Yeah, but you got confused and tried to kill me! I didn't have a choice!" Matt pleaded.
 
"I am sure you tried extra hard to not get me under your thumb." Madison said it sarcastically. Using the voice of persuasion, Matt concentrated, "Madison, I had **** but to enslave you; there were no other options."
 
"You tried every option, but you had **** but to turn me into a ****," Madison's blank eyes and monotone voice said.
 
"Hey, did you just like Jedi mind trick her?" Mckenzie said, "What! No, it's called the voice of persuasion, and it is so much better and totally different!" Matt nervously laughed, "I'm not some kind of nerd. Lol."
 
"That's not what Marcia and Gina said; see here," Nancy pointed at the screen. "It says your a nerd right here...here...oh and here too!" She said it excitedly.
 
"They also said you're a perv because of all the spanking and whipping and light S&M stuff," said Tessa.
 
"Wait, Tessa, why are you here?" Matt said, "You're not in the harem!" "Yes, I am. Didn't you read the last chapter of phase one?" She said, shaking her head.
 
"But it was the 4th of July! You know how much I like watching stuff explode! Plus, I ate all this food and I was tired... plus the S&M stuff kind of goes hand in hand with the mind control, **** master stuff," Matt mumbled.
 
"Sounds like excuses to me," Tessa smirked. "At least you did something totally unique and not boring to me when you made me your ****!"
 
"Really! Great! Maybe they will write a retraction. What did I do differently than turn you into a **** with your own opinions?" Matt asked.
 
"You made it so I can be a mindless robot," Tessa said.
 
"See, the harem isn't all the same!!! I mean, they obey me, and I can override their opinions and feelings if I want to, plus if I screw up, I can always go down on them and reprogram them to do what I want....oh fuck, they are like robots. Damn it, Tessa, why did you have to pick a robot, people love cat girls why couldnt you want to be a cat girl?
 
"Sorry, Master, it's been my fantasy since I was a teen." She shrugged.
 
"Well shit. Did they at least like the Easter egg stuff? I mean, there were quite a few real facts in the stories; wasn't that exciting?" Matt balked.
 
"I don't think they knew; what were some of them anyway?" Tessa questioned.
 
"The chemo **** and where it was found are true; the location of the bad guys in Belarus was a real city; images were modified from Belarusian men, oh, and Apollyon is from the Bible; but it is not certain if he is the devil or a demon that is high ranking in his army." Matt said running out of breath.
 
"Wow, did you expect Marcia and Gina to look that shit up? You know this is a smut story, right? Why would anyone give a shit if the Madagascar periwinkle was the reason kids don't die of cancer as much anymore?" Jen cut in.
 
"Jen I have no idea. How am I supposed to know what they care about? I thought they would like the fact that all the women were getting head!" Matt yelled.
 
"Nah, it was just a plot device to get to the fucking! They saw right through it!" Jen shouted back.
 
"But it wasn't! I like giving head! I like getting it too, but this was supposed to be different enough to catch people's interest! Also trying to make all the titles songs or movie quotes!" Matt explained.
 
"Even our creator's username is a movie reference! 50 First Dates, which happens to be one of Jen and myself's first movies we ever watched together, in which Adam Sandler's character says that the walrus has the second biggest penis in the animal kingdom, and then he is asked who has the biggest, to which he replies,'me'of course'. Classic Sandler. Lol," Matt said.
 
"Wait, so he is saying his dick is smaller than Adam Sandlers?" Mckenzie asked "or if he was bigger than a walrus?

"Hey crack head, Adam Sandler's penis can't be bigger than a walrus; that's a character he played, not real life." Ashley said, "Oh God, I just thought we would have gotten through this whole review without having to talk to tits for brains here," Mckenzie said.
 
"Hey! You're just upset you don't have any tits!" Ashley said,

"Girls, I programmed both of you to get along with the rest of the harem!" Now,  go eat each other out, and Tessa spanks them both for being bad." Matt said, "Yes, Master." They all said in unison,
 
"Perv," Nancy said out of the corner of her mouth, and everyone laughed.
 
"Ok, Nancy, you get to get down on all fours as my foot stool for the rest of this review." Matt snapped.
 
"Just wait till our great creator, Walrus Dick, starts phases 2 and 3 of the story! It will be me!" Matt finished. 

::Ring Ring::

"Hello?" Matt answered

"Hey Rhinocock! What the hell did you mean by the line 'I started to melt under their menstruation' I have already had a night terror over this" Gina yelled.

"I think you have me mistaken for the creator Walru-"

"Cut the shit porcupine prick, we know your the same guy, so answer the question was it a typo or are you even more a fucking gross perv than Marcia and me thought!"

"Well there was this one time in college with Jen...it was awful...we did it in the dark and when we woke up in the morning it looked like a class reunion at Carrie's school dance..."

"You sick Mother fucker, where is my taser!"

"But to answer your question, it was a typo, to be more precise, a failure of the American education system because I didn't catch it" Matt finished.

"You and me better never meet croc-cock or your balls are fried!" Gina yelled slamming the phone down.

-back to Cunning Linguist-
(https://chyoa.com/chapter/Intermission.1581814)